


Hero's life

by SadGirlFromEasternEurope



Series: War effects. Mysterious relay. [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Destroy Ending, F/M, Post-Mass Effect 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:03:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 49,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5971287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadGirlFromEasternEurope/pseuds/SadGirlFromEasternEurope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Reaper war is over. Three years are passing and commander, now admiral Shepard is trying to have a normal life but she finds out that sometimes it's harder than she thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> At the beginning I want to apologize all readers for any mistakes (English is not my mother tongue). This is my first story there and I hope you'll enojoy it or at least accept it ;).

Three years were passing... exactly today. Three years since the event that restored relative peace in the Galaxy for the next 50,000 years. However the end of the war has brought new challenges. Life on Earth, though was still possible, couldn't be like it had been before. About 70% Earth population lost their lives as result of Reaper's raids, the next 10% died because of wide spreading diseases in a damaged atmosphere. Whole cities, the pride of humanity were gone. Only huge, empty spaces were reminding about splendor of the human species.

 

These three strenuous years have brought many changes throughout the Galaxy. Not only Earth was destroyed so largely. Tuchanca – Crogan's planet, Thessia – Asari's planet or Turian Palaven were destroyed as well. Suddenly has came new hope for humanity. Information about green, tropical planet with warm oceans on the edge of Galaxy restored faith, for those who had lost it during the war with deaths of their relatives, with whole this suffering.

 

Admiral Shepard woke up early that day. The sky was gray, which was usual lately. Still she didn't want to get up. She was tossing and turning but lost sleep didn't want to return. She was dreaming about one fully overslept night. However, was she sure about it if she wanted to fall asleep again? She was afraid that her nightmares, images of ended war, fear, uncertainty, uncountable casualties will come back. She needed to pluck up courage immediately. She reached her bedside cabinet and took out a photography. It was so important to her. It reminded her not only about the amazing day when it had been taken but also about whole war which paradoxically was the best time in her entire life. She overcame her anxieties, became an excellent soldier, learned how to incur losses, live everyday, like it could be the last. She made a lot of friends and... fell in love. The crew of her ship Normandy was spread throughout the Galaxy, searching for a better life. After destroying the Reapers, she decided to stay on Earth. She felt obliged to help the survivors moving to planet Gaya. But before it happened she needed to cope with her own problems. She was dug out from London rubble after three days from the battle, when everyone was thinking that commander Shepard paid her own life saving the Galaxy. They took her out barely alive, exhausted with spoiled spine, broken spinal cord, that few decades ago was judgment of disability. Fortunately modern medicine pieced Shepard together quite quickly. After a year she made her first steps, she was able to return to her duties. With her promotion she was getting them more and more. At heart she swore admiral Anderson that she will protect humanity from annihilation and save his dear London – place where he raised up and spent almost all his life. Now there was miss admiral's command center. Her mission on Earth was soon to finish. The order was restored, people moved and Shepard was leaving Earth which was transformed into something like big warehouse or museum for further generations.

 

Shepard turned to the other side and looked at the photography, at these all faces. Deep inside she missed them all. She didn't like to show weaknesses but sometimes it was stronger than her. Every member of her former crew had important task to do. Liara, Garrus and Tali were helping in rebuilding their own planets. Tali was just creating a new world, on which Quatrians after years of wandering could settle down and take off protecting them overalls. Keelah se'lai – thought Shepard and smiled to herself. In turn James, Ashley and Javik joined project of rebuilding Citadel. That complicated plan of reconstruction that space station had been facilitated thank to huge wisdom of Protheans. Her pilot Joker after losing EDI flung himself into work. He started to pilot passenger ships transporting people to Gaya. Shepard blamed herself for EDI's 'death'. She had chosen Reaper's destruction that meant destroying whole synthetic life. Shepard tried to excuse herself that she needed to do some sacrifices in that time. She couldn't stand these moments of hesitation. She looked at photograph one more time, more precisely at its left corner. There was standing a turian Garrus Vakarian, love of her life. Thought that he is somewhere in the universe was giving her strength, was lifting her spirits, but this separation was becoming unbearable. She missed him, really missed. Where are you now Garrus? – she was asking herself. She hoped that after all this chaos nothing can stand on their way to happiness. However the fortune has separated them one more time... Pull yourself together Shepard – she said to herself and get out of bed, maybe too rapidly because she felt all scars on her back stretching to the limit. Pain broke her up, not only physically but mentally she also felt devastated. Probably for a long time she would still feel sorry for herself but suddenly...

 

  * Miss admiral, you have new message on your private terminal – that was a warm voice of her new assistant Helen Reed.

  * Thank you Helen, I will read it in a moment.

  * Have a nice day admiral, goodbye.




 

She came to her terminal in order to read the message.

 

_Admiral Shepard,_

_we are very pleased to inform you about re-opening space station Citadel. On the third anniversary of the victory over the Reapers our efforts have been succeeded. Construction of the station has been completed today and we are hopeful that it will again become worthy heart of our Galaxy. We would also like to invite you to the opening ceremony with the best company in the whole Galaxy. We are counting on your presence, opening schedule will be send in the next message._

_Yours sincerely,_

_New Citadel Council_

 

Such a surprise – sighed Shepard. It took three years to rebuild this genius of cosmic architecture. But they did it. That information really cheered her up. She took a quick shower, dressed up. Then she was in a better mood.

 

  * Helen, could you please come to me for a moment? – asked Shepard.

  * Yes admiral, I'm coming – she answered.




 

She appeared in her room in a minute. Helen was a young, tall woman with blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was very clever and fast-learning. Shepard's treasure. She lost her whole family during the war. When the war was over she decided to join the Citadel rebuilding project but Shepard was faster, she noticed her skills and took to her office. They were getting along like they have known each other for many, many years.

 

  * What's the problem, admiral? – she asked suspiciously.

  * Actually we don't have any – smiled Shepard – you'd better get ready for a party.

  * A party? – her suspicion raised to a new level.

  * After this all, after years of suffering and hard work, word party seems to be abstract? – Shepard blinked still smiling.

  * Oh no, absolutely, I didn't expect it, that's all. What's the occasion?

  * My dear, Citadel is opening.

  * Already? – Helen sat in amazement.

  * Exactly today. Three years from that that day when... – she hesitated. She has never told nobody what had happened then. Nobody knew, saw that what she did. Sometimes she wasn't even sure if it really had happened. Images of that night came back instantly. The Illusive Man, his unsuccessful attempt at controlling the Reapers, Anderson's death, boy that had appeared in her dreams, then few shots aiming at system's heart and finally some terrible noises and darkness...

  * Something's wrong admiral? – Helen laid her hand on Shepard's shoulder.

  * You know, I'm not ready for this, I'm not mature enough to share these memories – said Shepard – but you have to believe me, there will be a day when everyone will find out what ended war with Reapers. Right now these wounds are so fresh for me. Too fresh.

  * I understand you and I'm so sorry. Maybe I'm too bothersome. Many people and not only people want to know what had happened then.

  * That's normal I think – Shepard sighed with surrender – I need this party, I'm looking forward it. I need to drag myself away from everything, to return to normality which I can not experience for a long, long time.

  * Does it have something in common with that turian? – asked Helen blushing rapidly – oh, I didn't mean it admiral, I'm sorry.

  * With Garrus? – shadow of smile crossed Shepard's face – don't be sorry Helen. We're working together, that's normal that you want to know something more about your boss. I'll tell you that nothing's so important for me like meeting him there, on Citadel.

  * I can only wish you good luck – said Helen, unsurprisingly hugging Shepard – what else can I do for you?

  * Let's prepare the ship, call the people, we are setting off tomorrow. It's time to say goodbye to Earth.




 


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard was leaving Earth. There were only ten minutes left... She was leaving a place where she had spent part of her childhood. Now it was gray, empty, without any hope to return to its splendor. She recalled Garrus' words, who was fascinated with her planet and wanted to live there with her after all this mess with Reapers. Warm and tropical place with her by his side and his dreams would come true. Wait, wait didn't mention something about having children? Shepard smiled to herself walking lost in thought. She imagined her beloved turian tenderly looking after little... Hm, exactly after who or what? She gave up this thought very quickly because having an inter-species child was impossible. One more time she glanced at London. At these small, deserted streets reminding about long and rich history of the city and ruined clock tower Big Ben, which had been built 300 years before Shepard was born. 'I don't think if we can say if that war was completely won', Shepard got angry. She could still seen those giant machines ruthlessly destroying everything on their way. She took a deep breath and turned towards space shuttle which took them to the New Citadel.

Shepard hoped to meet someone of former Normandy crew at opening party. After all that formal part, just like old times, they'd sit at one table in the bar drinking this awful beer, laughing and making plans for the future, just having fun.

The New Citadel was getting closer. At first sight it wasn't different from its older version. Ships of different species were coming from all sides of the Galaxy. Turians, quarians, krogans and asari were expecting this day. This symbolic day had to put the seal on the Reaper war. And the New Citadel would became kind of big monument in remembrance of uncountable casualties.

They gently entered the docking bay. Shepard stood up, stretched and went out honorably. That what she saw was over her expectations. Hundreds or even thousands faces turned in her direction. Excitement in crowed increased. In five minutes she was able to do only a few steps. She shook a lot of hands. She heard many stories about living, dead, lost and found. Luckily a young asari came to rescue her.

 

– Welcome miss admiral – she greeted her quite coldly – I'm Fira K'Leni and I am new asari councilor. By the way I was chosen as a main head of New Citadel Council. I'm sorry for these shortcomings, not everything is geared up here. Someone should be waiting there for you.

– No problem – said Shepard overwhelmed with Fira's self confidence.

– Rabble – said Fira looking at guests – I told Rekan not to invite them so many but he insisted on having sumptuous ceremony – she was muttering angrily.

– Rekan? – Shepard raised her eyebrows.

– Yeah, my turian adviser, hotheaded but very hardworking and useful – Fira smiled for the first time – please come to my office for a moment miss admiral.

 

They came to the door in the end of the corridor. Fira unlocked them. Her office didn't seem to be cozy, it was big, cold, glass interior with hard to localize source of white light. 'It suits her' thought Shepard and sat on a blue couch located in front of a big window, where she could see a huge part of the space station.

 

– Would you like something to drink? – asked Fira reluctantly.

– Yes, please – Shepard agreed, wanting to continue their conversation in kinder atmosphere.

– I'm glad you accepted our invitation – Fira continued pouring water – you are our... we can say our savior. We wouldn't be talking now if not alleged merits of admiral Shepard...

– Alleged? – Shepard surprised a little bit but she kept calm – I think I know what are you striving for...

– I am striving? Everyone is admiral. It's high time to say everyone in the Galaxy what happened that day, why suddenly all Reapers started to fall on the ground without hm.. life and why all these Reaper-creatures vanished? You owe us so little, just truth. That's what we are expecting, to have no more doubts.

– Fira, my dear – Shepard said these word really slowly still trying to keep calm – I owe nothing to anyone. My choices... My unhesitating choice that day saved your damn ass and you should be grateful for it that you can talk to me now and offend me! I don't want such pressure from you or anyone else. Understood? – Shepard stood up and started to walk towards asari.

– Of course admiral – said Fira, her glance was furious – you only have to know that I don't trust you and whatever happened then wasn't fair to us.

– I see – drawled Shepard – I respect your personal feelings and I hope that they won't have any influence on our future cooperation.

– New Citadel Council – Fira went off a tangent – decided to honor you and appreciate your efforts in restoring peace in the Galaxy. Credits have already been transferred to your account and now I want to give you keys to your renovated apartment in New Citadel for peaceful retiring.

– Thank you for this nice gift – said Shepard smiling insincerely.

– Please wait miss admiral – added asari – Rekan will give you a lift to your apartment. We are starting the ceremony in one hour, we are expecting some short speech... – she ended sentence maliciously and called the turian.

 

Rekan appeared in a moment. He was young, tall even for u turian, with a huge fringe. He seemed excited about his new, responsible position. He opened door for her and let her through almost bowing. They left Fira's office and Shepard finally could breath with a sigh of relief. Atmosphere of place and conversation weighed her down, spoiled fantastic evening she was looking forward. Rekan noticed her displeased face and tried to chat her up.

 

– Miss admiral maybe I should not ask but is everything fine?

– If you should not so don't ask – replied Shepard still thinking about her conversation with Fira – oh I'm sorry Rekan I didn't mean to but your boss... We didn't get on well. I feel a little upset – she added.

– Don't worry admiral – he said warmly – we are all trying to settle into at our new positions and it's not always easy. Please give her some time, she needs to get used to you. Fira is so ambitious, like most of asari.

– I hope so – said Shepard comforted with his words.

 

Turians' timbre of voice would calm down even thrown off balance person. That reminded Shepard one thing...

 

– Do you know something about situation on Palaven? – she asked him.

Not much. After defeating the Reapers I came here on Citadel or rather on what was left of it. Here served my father, his brothers. I wanted to continue that, they all died on this station. Please forgive me this personal stuff – he coughed up – regarding to Palaven I know that situation is stable, the former Prymarch because of serious wounds had to resign from his position. But now we have a one one that is...

– Shepard! – a female, squeaky voice was heard in the whole corridor – is that really you?

 

Shepard stood confused. She saw a unique looking woman running towards her. Moment, could it be...

 

– Tali?! Is that you?

– Who else did you expect? – she threw herself into Shepard's arms and hugged her so firmly that Shepard couldn't catch her breath – nobody I missed so much like my favourite commander!

– Tali... You don't have overall, helmet... Wow I can see quarian for the first time! – Shepard opened her mouth in astonishment.

– It's such a long story Shepard – Tali was talking with huge excitement – during these three years we achieved so much on our planet which was impossible during 300 hundred in exile. At last, with using medicines of course, we can enjoy our lives without helmets and protective overalls!

– I, I don't know what to say Tali, I'm so happy that you're here, that finally quarians have home – said Shepard enthusiastically hugging her old friend.

– I'm leaving you ladies – Rekan butted into conversation – here's your apartment admiral – he showed the closest door.

– Thank you Rekan, for help and consolation – added Shepard.

– You're welcome admiral – said Rekan – always at your service, see you soon on ceremony.

 

Shepard opened the door and looked around. It warmed cockles of Shepard's heart. She recognized this place. The apartment had been reconstructed perfectly with these comfortable sofas, bright wooden floors and strange abstractions on the walls. Small but cozy kitchen. She's still remembered the party which she had thrown one month before the final battle. Then she'd dreamt that time would never end and party would last forever. She had seen her friends' faces relaxed, without shadow of fear recalling incoming annihilation. She had promised herself that it wouldn't be their last party...

 

– Hey Shepard are you still there? – Tali waved her three-fingered palm in front of Shepard's face.

– Oh yes, I am – she said – I've just looked at all of this and amazing memories came back.

– Come on Shepard, since when you are so sentimental?

– You know what Tali, I think it's just getting old. Well actually I'm retired...

 


	3. Chapter 3

'They shouldn't have left so much alcohol here', thought Shepard looking at Tali sleeping on a sofa. Quarian woman had particularly weak head which with her weakness for alcohol gave so bad results. Shepard covered her with a blanket. Then she looked in the mirror nervously stroking her dress. 'It's not so bad Shepard' she said to herself, 'You still keep shape'. After this narcissistic behavior she left her apartment to join the ceremony.

Main hall was quieter than docking bay. Everyone was standing in silence and concentration. Shepard saw her old friends out of the corner of her eye. She greeted them with a big smile and they answered with nodding to her. But she could nowhere see Liara and Garrus. 'They must be somewhere in the crowd', she comforted herself with these words. She came closer to the podium on which was just entering Fira. All lights and guests' eyes were pointing at her. She'd changed her ordinary suit for elegant, glittered gown which was so blue that almost merging into her skin. She made a speech with her official and cold voice:

 

  * Dear ladies and gentlemen, representatives of all species in our Galaxy. I am so delighted to have you as my guests tonight. On the New Citadel's Council behalf I want to say thank you for your coming. Rebuilding this station took us three tough years filled with hard work and sacrifice. One more time we showed that thanks to inter-species cooperation we can achieve every goal we want. However some of us can more and they know more – Fira looked at Javik and sounded muffled applause – and that's why were able to execute our plan. I know it was worth it, every minute, every drop of sweat and your every wound, made that I can stand here and talk to you. The last war – she fell silent for a while – wasn't easy. Losses that we suffered haven't been counted yet. It's a great pleasure having as guests unquestioned heroes of that tough time – she glanced at Shepard probably involuntarily what caused round of applause, which was overcame by Fira after barely five minutes – victory – she continued – is not individual's merit but it is merit of long cooperation, perseverance in faith of own beliefs, what was proved with a death of last Reaper. Now I would like to say thank you to representatives of all delegations. At the beginning, please forgive me, I'd like to say thank you to asari which suffered very severe wounds, our planet Thessia was razed to the ground. However they didn't give up and thanks to them peaceful life returned to our home planet. Another words of approbation I'd like to give to turians, although I can not see official delegation from Palaven – Shepard looked around nervously but she admitted that Fira's right, there was nobody from turian government – the war did not spare them too, they had to left their home planet. Their strength and resistance boosted morale of whole Galaxy. Today Palaven is again turians' home and is promising for the future. Salarians, your medical knowledge is extraordinary. One of you lost his life while curing the genophage and now you Krogans after many, many years you can have your own children. I want to thank you both. Humans, your planet is lost but its end was the beginning for the new order. You've already found a new home and I hope that it would be as friendly as Earth. You're the youngest race for us but your hunger for knowledge and its using in battles is priceless. Volus, elcors I want to thank you for participating in that war. Drells and hanars your unique symbiosis helped us creating something big and of course I want to thank you too. We also can not forget about keepers who lived and died here. I also would like to highlight an input of other races form outside the Council without which out victory wouldn't be certain. Quarians, you've been given a new chance, please use it wisely. And now at the end of this long list I want to thank batarians who after years of conflicts united with us in order to fighting Reapers. Now let me unveil memorial plaque that will commemorate individuals and all together at the same time. Afterwards our celebration can become less formal.




 

Plaque was giant, thick board made of strange material. Silver words reminding about unification in the face of war were sparkling in the mild light. The number of casualties was still changing. Guest started to form up in smaller groups, the banquet has begun. Shepard was weaving her way through the crowd still getting congratulations and thanks. She got through to her companions, James, Ashley and Javik. They hugged each other hearty.

 

  * Let's find some free table – suggested James.

  * Clear, if it's still possible to sit somewhere – agreed Shepard.




 

They found some cozy place in the corner. Tables were weighed down with lots of food and drink. Some of them even Shepard didn't recognize.

 

  * Miss admiral is out of sorts – noticed Ashley.

  * I'm just a little bit tired – Shepard tried to make an excuse – you know long journey and so on.

  * I think there's something more – said Javik, reaching his hand in her direction. Shepard avoided it knowing that for prothean it's the fastest way to see the truth about her feelings.

  * Javik, no – Shepard protested – I really don't want to. Please tell me something about last three years on Citadel – she tried to veer away form a subject.

  * I think I was mistaken about humans, turians and asari – continued Javik avoiding Shepard's question – you have to forgive it someone who spent last 50,000 years in a capsule – he tried to joke – I withdraw everything I told about your backwardness.

  * Come off it Javik! – James laughed – you have to believe us Shepard we've heard it at least once a day. Right Lola, I see you don't want to talk about intimacies but tell us what had you been doing on Earth for last three years.




 

Shepard was grateful that they absolved her from questions about her relationship with   
Garrus and about what had happened before destroying Reapers. Finally it was like she'd imagined, restful evening at the bar with the best company.

 

  * It passed some time since the battle – started Shepard – some flashes of consciousness stared to come back. I was buried in the debris, I heard some screams, I couldn't move, I fought for every breath but feeling that we'd won helped me survive. When they dug me, took me out, they thought I was dead. I was totally exhausted, vital signs on the lowest levels, comminuted fracture, injured spinal cord and millions of things that I don't remember and I'm not sure if I want to. I was put back together... titanic spine. If I weren't mechanized so far – she smiled – full functioning on Earth was no longer possible for people, we had to look for something new. Just in time came message from Normandy about new planet able to settle down. That's how passed the first year since the battle, I was making first steps and I was promoted to admiral. I thought that things happen too fast. Time stopped for me. I agreed and I became responsible for 'cleaning Earth'. In the meantime I was recovering, filling in forms and I was looking through the window at ships taking people away – she pondered for a moment – and that's all I think.

  * Wow, Shepard – James seemed to be lost in thought – you always bear responsibility for humanity, they shoot at you with whatever they have and in the end you fight your way out of it. Sorry but I have to say you're incredible.

  * James... – Ashley grabbed his hand and looked deeply in his eyes – do not forget yourself.

  * _Mi amor_ – James reciprocated romantic gesture – I love you more than anything in the world and you are the most incredible woman I've ever met. But you have to understand that I and Lola... We are just in good terms.




 

Shepard raised her eyebrows. She couldn't believe that these two could be together. Indeed she'd seen them flirting at the last part party before the battle but she'd thought it's just a love affair, innocent flirting so typical for James. Anyway James assured that after joining the Alliance he's not interested in serious relationships. However they seemed to be so in love with each other.

 

  * Humans, humans – sighed Javik, bit bored with the party – you seemed to be so intelligent, developed but your hm... mating habits are still... primitive.

  * You two... – Shepard could not find proper words – damn, congratulations, I don't know what else to say. I thought that...

  * Know what Lola? – James couldn't stop admiring Ashley – it seemed to us that military, battles and living on the edge, this is it, what really gives you fun. We understood what for was it all.

  * Vega, Vega – Shepard shook her head, looking at the bottom of already emptied glass – since when philosophy is your hobby?

  * Shepard, don't be so selfi... – Ashley stopped in mid- sentence.




 

The door leading to the hall opened rapidly. All guests' eyes turned into that direction. Group of turians entered led by... Garrus Vakarian.

 


	4. Chapter 4

  * Sorry for being little late – he started embarrassed with this sudden interest of crowd – those damn batarian pirates and that's all – he cut short.




 

He noticed her immediately. His face didn't show any emotions. He froze and after a while he started slowly moving towards her but in half-way he was stopped by Fira.

 

  * Dear ladies and gentlemen – Shepard heard again that strained, official voice – I hope you're having an excellent time but I have to disturb you for a moment. I'm very pleased to welcome turian delegation with Prymarch Garrus Vakarian.




 

Prymarch Vakarian, Shepard raised her eyebrows, who'd say. The round of applause was heard in the hall. Shepard wanted to come to him but something subconsciously stopped her, she could only see Fira leading Garrus and other turians to VIP room.

 

  * So old Vakarian is on board – said Ashley. James gave her warning glance – Shepard?

  * Yeah, I'm so glad – she sighed – just like old times...

  * Why don't you join them? – asked James – don't worry about us and have fun.

  * No James, thanks – answered Shepard – I really do enjoy your company – besides I didn't tickle to new Counlil's head fancy.

  * Fucking careerist, it's a fact she's good at what she does and she always gets what she wants and... – Vega hesitated – what's rare among asari, she's crazy about turians...

  * He didn't mean it – said Ashley quickly – She often appears in their company but it doesn't mean anything – she protested flatly.

  * Humans... You and your problems – muttered drowsily Javik – in my cycle everything was simpler and alcohol was weaker.

  * All right soldiers – mobilized Shepard trying to reject previous thoughts – do you know something about Liara?




 

James at Ashley looked at each other quite embarrassed. Ashley pitched to Shepard and started talking quietly:

 

  * Uh... Liara – Ashley blushed unexpectedly – she was with us, here on Citadel but she had to fly to Thessia urgently... some problems... family... Yes, exactly she left because of family reasons.

  * Aha – said Shepard in reaction to this clumsy lie – you know Ash, maybe you don't remember but we took care of all Liara's family matters on Noveria.

  * Yes, yes Shepard you're right – Ashley still kept lying while Shepard was scoffing at her – it's not about so close family, you see her aunt, no... I think it's rather uncle...

  * Is that uncle prothean? – Shepard couldn't stand and gave a snort of laughter. Ashley looked at her a little bit offended – you can stop these lies. There are no men among asari.

  * Oh damn – Ashley snarled at herself – I'm sorry Shepard, Liara didn't want us to talk about her.

  * I see and you could tell me this at the beginning instead of stupid lies – Shepard told these words attentively observing Javik who fixed his eyes on a group of dancing guests.




 

In a few exchanged messages Liara mentioned that she was working with Javik on lengthy publication about protheans. It would be a crowning achievement of years spent on researches on prothean race. Is it possible that this relationship went beyond scientific borders? Liara and Javik? Javik and Liara? That's rubbish, it doesn't make any sense. No, no we need to change a subject.

Hours were passing, they were drinking, eating and remembering past operations and battles. Shepard tried not to think about Garrus in spite of he was so close to her. She just needed to move this lazy ass and go to the next room. However rest of self–preservation instincts were whispering in her head that she shouldn't. She heard ringing in her ears caused by the alcohol and she had to say, enough. She yawned and stretched. Then she looked at snoozing Javik, at Ashley who was watching her reflection in the bottom of glass and at James who reclined his head on his hand staring ahead unconsciously.

 

  * Thank you all for this great time tonight but it's time I was off, I need to get some sleep before meeting of New Council – said Shepard standing.

  * Of course... Miss admiral – mumbled James – sleep ti... iii.. ight...

  * Williams out – saluted her Ashley still staring at her reflection.




 

She started slowly moving ahead. Guests were swayed by some calm music. Whole place was getting sleepy. 'Oh Citadel, old, new it doesn't matter because is good as always'. Atmosphere in the bar was fantastic. Here Garrus danced tango with her. At first she resisted him but he got it his own way. He was leading her sturdily although at some point Shepard showed him what she can. Beautiful memories with the man of her life, time of her life... 'No, stop Shepard don't think of it' she calmed herself down, 'You saw him, he didn't seem to be interested, he went with Fira. Now he's a Prymarch, he needs better company than you.' But these eyes, these deeply blue eyes looked at her so, so... passionately like he saw her the first time. 'No, that's enough. You have to be more assertive, you can not allow some man to return to your life after three years without saying a word and you start getting mad about him like some teenager in love. She came to a lift which had to take her to a taxi rank. Not looking around she pressed button to a proper floor. The door were closing while suddenly...

 

  * You really thought that I'll let you just go away? – Garrus Vakarian in person entered right after her.

  * I thought that you didn't even notice me Vakarian, or rather Prymarch – said Shepard indifferently

  * I'm so sorry miss admiral – he teased – unfortunately diplomatic protocol required it. You can not be noticed especially in this... hm... cool dress. However I hoped that you as human representative will join us.

  * I had an impression that I'm not welcomed in Council's company – drawled Shepard.

  * I don't know in whose company you're welcomed or not. In my you will always be... very welcomed... – he stared moving towards her.

  * No Vakarian – she stopped him.

  * What's wrong Shepard? You want to write off everything what was between us? – Garrus seemed to be lost.

  * I don't preclude it – Shepard still tried to keep the distance – that what connected us... Everything changed Garrus, three years passed. Each of us went their own way. I didn't receive any message from you. You didn't care about that what happened to me. I could die there on Earth, I'm sure you wouldn't be worried.

  * Enough Shepard – he grabbed her wrists – I'm there exactly where I want to be, and the fact that I couldn't during those three years... It was hard for me too.

  * It's not good place to talk about it – she said quickly, when warlike Krogan entered the lift – we'd better go to my apartment.




 

They left the lift and went to a random cab. During the flight Shepard reminded about Tali sleeping on her sofa. It wasn't good time for her outbursts of expression. She wasn't inside, she's just left message on the pad in which she thanked for nice but too short meeting and counts for next one. Shepard turned and folded her arms. Garrus was looking at her in expectation. Some music was heard in the background. He couldn't stand that moment of tension.

 

  * I'm begging you Shepard, listen to me, it's really important what I want to say. I know that I behaved like an asshole but it was, it was just... normal course of events. We got stuck on Gaya. Normandy was, I can say dying. It took us some time to bring it back to efficiency. Joker was so kind and gave us lift home. I returned on Palaven to Cipritine, or rather to what was left of it. I started to hang around with the most important soldiers in the hierarchy. They proclaimed me a war hero. It wasn't easy for me. Soon I was chosen as a Prymarch. My father swelled with pride but I was getting under stronger pressure. Former Prymarch that means Victus resign from his position, he got seriously injured during the war. That promotion was so sudden I could not refuse, it's the biggest honour for every turian. Damn, I'm sorry that I'm still talking about myself but I really want to explain you everything, put these facts together. It will help you believe that although I'm dick, that dick loves you. So I became Prymarch and despite having full advisory board every single paper landed on my desk. Then I was scratching my head and wisely nodded accepting some plans. Every fucking day I was checking extranet searching for some news from Earth especially for that one that you're alive. Lack of information drove me wild. Father noticed it and led me to the doctor who prescribed me some anti-stress pills. Pharmaceutical companies on Palaven are making fortune now. Everyone needs their 'magical pills'. Damn I'm veering away from subject again but I want to say that finally I've found what I was looking for. On Palaven came wonderful message, my Shepard, my indestructible commander Shepard survived last Reapers' attack. At once I was looking for some way to contact you. Sending message to Earth was beyond our reach. That's how passed two years. After two and half years first communication channels were activated but we still couldn't fulfill connection with Earth Our ships didn't fly there and so didn't yours. I gave up but at the bottom of my heart I still hoped for some breakthrough, that we'll meet somewhere in the space. Invitation to Citadel was deliverance for me... Look – he waved with his pad in front of her face – here I've got hundreds of undelivered messages to you my darling. What else do I need to explain you?! – Garrus looked deeply in her eyes and tried to bend the knee to Shepard – believe me or not Shepard – he made a confession – I missed you. I was sure that you died... again. I wanted to get through to you but I was necessary on Palaven... Within those three years my life without you was so empty...

  * I want to kill you and kiss your stupid blockhead at the same time and please stand you're putting me in a awkward position – excess of emotions and drunk alcohol dangerously spun in her head – I missed you too Garrus – she admitted finally – everyday without you... I could not stand it. When I was told that Normandy disappeared... It was a tough time for me. Any signal from you was strong blow for me. I realised connection limits but my mind was suggesting that if you love me you'll give me a sign. Additionally I had to cope with my hopeless health and thought that I will never meet you again...

  * Shepard, my love, please let's forget about those three years – he came closer, grabbed her hands and squeezed them gently – let's give each other one more chance. We both screwed up something. But of course I'm guiltier – he added quickly seeing her angrily squinted eyes – there is no war, we are going to have time only for us, just give old Vakarian one more chance, let him show you that he is not such an asshole as you think.




 

Honest smile appeared on Shepard's face. Her eyes were full of happiness. Stealthily she wiped them this moment meant to her so much. She loved that turian so much, she was thinking about him everyday on Earth but there were moments in which she'd strangled him with her own hands.

 

  * Of course Garrus – she kissed his mandible. He'd forgotten how soft and gentle may be human's lips – but remember – she blinked – this is the last chance.

  * Naturally – he straightened proudly satisfied with fulfilling the most important mission of the evening – I think you've changed a little – he stroked her face – who has now more scars?

  * They're too fresh too remove – Shepard seemed to be embarrassed – please, let's sit – suggested wanting to change a subject.

  * Quite nice apartment – Garrus hugged her firmly – I've got a feeling that I've been here but... I think it's some kind of amnesia I can not remember what we've done here...

  * Vakarian, Vakarian – Shepard gave in – think a little. There was a great party, we were having fantastic time until the dawn, we were dancing, drinking, maybe too much...




 

He kissed her. Her heart started to beat faster. They were sitting in her living room in front of the fireplace which was giving nice warmness. He was observing her attentively. Then he touched her shoulder and stroke her arm very slowly. She felt goose bumps all over her body. He slipped his hand into her hair.

 

  * Is it longer than it used to be? – he kept asking – remember Shepard, I learned dancing tango for you. Your old Vakarian is still learning. I'll show you.




 

He grabbed her in fact long hair and deftly plaited it. He looked at it very satisfied with results.

 

  * You're beautiful woman Shepard. I love you – he whispered to her ear – please come closer – he ogled at her.




 

Shepard swallowed in amazement. Her pulse raised, breath was quick and irregular. Body started to shake uncontrollably. Suddenly she kept him under his fringe bringing their faces closer and sunk into him with her lips. They froze in a kiss for a moment but when they dragged away from each other Garrus lustfully reached her breast. Shepard caught his arm in a reflex action and panted:

 

  * I want to assure you that my bed is more comfortable than this narrow sofa – she really wanted more.

  * Hm... If you say so – he purred – I think it's worth trying, you know to remind some things...

 




They ran upstairs directly to the bedroom. Atmosphere in the room was increased by a mild light. Actually the bed was really huge. It was covered with smooth sheet and lots of pillows. It encouraged to innocent forget oneself. He leaned her against the wall and started to give a lot of kisses. Their breaths were fast and aroused. She pulled her head back to make better access to her neck. She adored caresses in that place. He unzipped her dress then touched her back and felt stitches under his fingers but he didn't want to spoil this moment and didn't say a word. His kisses were getting more and more intensive. Now it was her turn she started to take off Garrus' uniform until she felt his skin. Suddenly he grabbed her and laid on the bed. Now his aim was her decolletage. Garrus caressed it gently. He reached her bra. Shepard felt increasing arousal in her intimate area.

 

  * You won't need it – said Garrus taking off her bra.




 

Shepard set her teeth, she felt very, very good. Garrus caressed her breasts like no one before. She could give back all moments in her life for this one. At last she had her turian... on her. He was going dangerously low. She sighed silently what encouraged him to further action.

 

  * You definitely won't need it – said Garrus throwing away her black laced pants – it's high time for... oh you know... – he said panting with arousal

  * I think I know what you mean – she answered him with light moan.




 

Garrus was getting really close. Their faces were connected again in a passionate kiss, now he was too close. He used this moment to enter her.

 

  * I've been waiting for it – said Shepard – definitely too long.

  * It's all right honey I'm with you – he panted again – this way of spending time with Shepard really suited him – you're wonderful, your body is so... soft, smooth and warm. Your breasts are perfect and down there you're... – he hesitated – so damp and tight.




 

Shepard wanted that night would never end. Garrus Vakarian was very creative lover what made her finish many times. Shepard loved their sex. There was something wild in it something what she hadn't receive for any man before. He understood her needs. Shepard appreciated it and tried to repay. With satisfaction she observed increasing pleasure in his blue eyes.

 

  * Thank you darling – he said after all – such a good work.

  * Just like old times Vakarian – exhausted Shepard fell on bed – it was long day but this night recompensed me everything.

  * Shepard I didn't say the last word – he added drowsily – but now forgive me I need to sleep a little. You've tired me so much.




 


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard woke up relaxed. Her body was scratched, bit aching but she was delighted as hell. She turned to him to make sure that memories of last night wasn't just figment of her imagination. He was sleeping. At that time he looked so mildly. There wasn't ordinary war obstinacy on his face. Shepard couldn't help herself. She stroked his face. Garrus was right, now she had more scars than him... He seemed to sleep deeply but...

 

  * Shepard don't provoke me – Garrus snarled lasciviously – you know that in the mornings I'm more turned on than usual.

  * And I am not even defending – she laughed – I'm all yours Garrus, do with me what you want.

  * Sure I will – he bended over Shepard and kissed her lips – everything's right? No pain? – he asked concerned – I remember the last time...

  * It's fine, it used to be worse. It's burning a bit but I'll get over.

  * Good, very good... So Shepard let's pitch in – he kissed her again, hugged tighter and did what he'd promised.




 

They needed some time spent together not worrying about following days or even if these days would come. They could enjoy each other laughing, joking and making love. They were in brilliant moods. Shepard has already forgotten about yesterday's clash with Fira and doubts connected with Garrus. She was just... happy...

 

  * Shepard... – he began straightening on bed – I don't if I've mentioned it but I love you.

  * Aha – she laughed – yes, you mentioned something about it but it was five minutes ago, I've almost have forgotten about it – she blinked.

  * You know, my love, surely I told you that many times, but I'm fascinated with race and your culture. Lately I got some new vids and texts relative to your customs. You can't stop surprising me.

  * For example? – she glanced searchingly at the turian.

  * You have some kind of rite – he held her hand and looked deeply in her eyes – which among turians is completely unknown and now, now... I don't know how to begin – he added embarrassed.

  * What's on your mind? – Shepard got really interested.

  * OK Shepard, I need to ask you something – he stood up, his voice was trembling – damn Garrus, you live only once it's not hard – he said to himself – darling maybe would you like to... maybe you want to become... Oh Shepard will you marry me?

  * Wow – Shepard was at loss for words but smile on her face didn't disappear – I didn't even think that you want to turn our relationship into something serious...

  * Shepard – he growled angrily – don't keep me waiting. I know that such declarations are very important in your culture.

  * Of course they are Vakarian – Shepard struggled to stay grave seeing his slightly terrified face – sure I will Garrus – she added kissing him sensually.

  * Shepard – he sighed with urgent when they finished kissing – I don't even know what would I do if you didn't agree. Maybe I'm adopting some human features?




 

They will probably be able to sit and hug like this for hours although their plans for lovely afternoon were verified very quickly because of Shepard's private terminal more precisely because of message from Helen:

 

_Miss admiral,_

_First information, today you've been designated to fill a human councilor office (congratulations!). Second information, as we talked lately, New Citadel Council is organising meeting and representatives of all races (including these from outside the Council) are welcomed. Official course of the meeting is unknown so I can not say how serious situation is. However on account of invited guest we can expect some surprises. I also want too add that the meeting will begin in one hour from sending this message in big Council's hall._

_I hope you had wonderful evening yesterday,_

_best wishes,_

_Helen._

 

  * Wow, I've just become a Councilor – said Shepard appreciated but at once she thought about extra duties.

  * Congratulations, love. It seems we have one more reason to celebrate.

  * I'm afraid Garrus that our short holiday has just ended – said Shepard sadly.

  * Don't worry honey – he touched her shoulder – we are going to have more and more holidays.

  * I wish we would – she replied looking at his blue eyes.




Shepard got out of the bed. Then strong pain in her back collapsed her. Garrus immediately rushed with help.

 

  * Hey Shepard, what's wrong? – he asked extremely scared and laid her back to the bed – yesterday everything was fine... Damn maybe we overdid.... I shouldn't have overtax you...

  * It's not your fault – she whispered gritting her teeth in pain – this fucking titanium causes some allergic reactions... It's not the first time...

  * I'll tell you something it looks terrible. I didn't want to say anything yesterday but I think someone should see it.

  * There weren't any medical supplies on Earth to reconstruct natural human spine. Reconstructing spinal cord in those conditions was a real miracle.

  * I admire you dear – said Garrus squeezing her hand maybe too firmly – I'll organise something for you, now you have to stay strong, grit your teeth and don't give up. You'll see, only few days and you'll be as good as new.

  * Unquenchable as always – slight smile crossed Shepard's face.

  * Now forgive me, I'll leave you, I have to get ready for this meeting. Surely my people are looking for me. Yesterday I didn't even appear in my room.

  * Oh, sure, go. I need to find my painkillers and I'll try to join the meeting punctually.




 

Shepard stroked her official suit with last nervous moves. She grabbed her hair confidently and plaited it identically like Garrus did yesterday. It really suited her. She took a deep breath. It was her first so serious appearance. She felt jitters. Shepard was an excellent soldier but might she be as good politician? She has never felt eloquent enough to give some ornate speeches. When she got promotion she gave her five minutes speech surrounded by about twenty people. She has never had impression that she made something big destroying Reapers. However not many people would be able to do something like this. The distance she came between Sovereign to this day on Citadel... The images were passing in her mind's eye in slow motion. If she'd made other decision that day... She quickly gave in that thought. 'You can not still reflecting the past', Shepard told herself off. Nothing can change it, nothing.

She was walking along the corridor leading to main Council hall. Dark clouds above her head didn't want to go away. She was passing tense members of various delegations. Nobody knew what to expect for first meeting of the New Council. Shepard entered the hall. The room had high vaulted ceiling, huge windows although it was quite dark. Scent of strange plants entwining walls filled Shepard's nose. She wasn't sure if atmosphere of this place would have good influence on meeting order. She sat down. Places beside her were still empty. They belonged to her companions that means, commander Jones and captain Barney. Shepard considered them to be necessary evil. Despite being effective in battles they weren't suitable for politics. To other races they were rather unconvinced or even they had distrustful attitude. They considered Citadel Council as unnecessary organ acting on humans' damage.

Shepard noticed Garrus with two other turians entering the room. They were discussing about something very nervously and quickly. When he saw her, straightened honourably and nodded. She replied him with graceful nod too. 'My... fiance...', thought Shepard blushing slightly. Who'd guess that he'd like that old human custom. It has become forgotten even among humans. She was grateful for this.

The room started to fill up with guests. It was first Council meeting for a long long time. What made it even more attractive than usual were new members. When guests have occupied most of places entered Fira, right after her some tense turian (Garrus had mentioned something about him but Shepard didn't even remember his name) and a young slarian. 'New Citadel Council put on youth', thought Shepard. Fira couldn't be older than 150 years, the turian man was something about 25. Shepard only could not guess salarian's age. Salarians were short-lived race. The only one factor showing their age was skin condition.

Fira coughed up meaningfully.

 

  * Welcome on first official gathering of New Citadel Council – tone of her voice was colder and even more bored than on yesterday's opening – our today meeting is extraordinary because all races can participate in it without exceptions. Each delegation can put forward one, I want to emphasize only one proposal. I want also introduce you to some... problem on which solution I want you to put your vote... reasonably. I think we should start our gathering with independent proposals, later we'll discuss the heart of the matter...

  * Quarians! – quarian's leader stood up. He was still wearing traditional quarian uniform from days of Migrant Fleet – we are not demanding but asking. After over 300 years we want to return to the Council and rule over the Galaxy with you. Creating geths was a huge mistake of our forefathers who needed cheap workforce. We learned a lot while living on exile and thanks to it our presence in the Council may be more effective. Please do not cross us out, we want to be part of the Council on account of you. We would also like to offer help to other non-Citadel races. We will never say 'no' and will always listen to you. That's why I'm asking all of you and each of you separately please give your vote for quarians. Now when Rannoch has become our home planet again we're getting stronger race. First crops have already covered the surface of our homeland. We are really proud of it...

  * Stop, that's enough – Fira got annoyed – Mr...

  * Kharin vas Nillis – said a bit offended quarian – as I mentioned we are asking...

  * I know what are you asking us about Mr Nillis. Creating geths was a huge blow for the Galaxy. Their rapid progress was our beginning of the end. Geths as synthetics joined Reapers and what happened next we all know. That's why I personally am not supporting quarian's come back. But of course final say here is not mine, so who is approve of quarians' return to Citadel Council?




 

Many hands raised immediately. Excited voices were heard everywhere. Fira had terrible dissatisfied grimace on her face. She might hope this proposal would not be voted down. Finally she needed to take the floor.

 

  * All right, everyone calm down please – she tried to over shout the crowd – all right you'll get what you want. Quarians welcome back to New Citadel Council. I understand Mr Nillis that you're candidate for councilor's office? – the quarian nodded – so after the meeting please come to fill in some forms – it seemed that Fira wanted to miss this item of programme very quickly.




 

Shepard looked at her companions. Their faces were similar to Fira's. Aliens' success was their failure. She also looked at Garrus, he seemed to be overjoyed. He always wished quarians well. 'Genetic brothers', Shepard smiled to herself.

After over an hour of next proposals of other races Fira was finally able to say what she wanted.

 

  * I want to introduce you to some important case that means one of our patrolling ships detected strange anomaly in the Castor's nebula. When the crew came closer they saw a mass relay. It was non-standard, smaller than traditional and what is more it was off-line. Later researches showed that is possible to activate it. However strict law of Citadel forbids activating any off line relays.

  * If Citadel forbids, it needs to have its own reasons – Shepard whispered to her companions, who nodded – am I right if she wants to activate some relay because it's different than others? Does she want to have a replay from First Contact War?

  * That relay is a chance for us, just think about technological progress, we have to move forward... – Fira went on – but as I've said we have to remember about that law of Citadel is strict although we can evade it with a bit of goodwill.

  * Goodwill? – bridled Shepard – I'm really curious what she means...

  * I prepared myself for such circumstances. So law of Citadel says 'In case of finding unidentified an off-line relay it is important to not forget about exceptional caution. It is strictly forbidden activating it. However if Citadel's Council would collect affirmative votes of each member it is unique possibility to turn it on.

  * Such a sly fox – murmured Shepard and shook her head – but... well, well... She got old Citadel books in order to achieve her goal. So Council made a mistake choosing me as a Councilor. I am not going to agree to it. That's not why I ran after Reapers through last few years to activate some mass relay behind which we don't know what to expect...

  * Councilor Shepard – Fira couldn't stand constant murmuring on her right side – do you have any questions or proposals?

  * Actually yes, I've got one question. I was involved in last war and I realise diverse dangers. Could you guarantee us safety after activating the relay?

  * I can guarantee nothing but I can promise that in case of any armed aggression I'll do my best.

  * Everything sounds great but isn't an ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure? The Galaxy has just taken a breather after the Reaper war. I am contrary to this idea. In the interest of all races in the Galaxy.

  * I understand – she said trying to keep calm but furious flash appeared in her eyes – thank you for this opinion. I also would like to ask about opinion our expert of relays, the last prothean, Javik.

  * Thank you my dear for valuing prothean wisdom and skills but this time you overestimate me. Mass relays are complicated devices. They had been built long before I was born. There were lots of them, nobody could even remember all their names. Official data about space time traveling was lost with our race. So even if I wanted I wouldn't be able to help you.

  * Er... Well, what a pity Javik. Dear representatives of New Citadel Council – Fira turned to guests – I would like you to vote on the issue of activating the relay. Please let's vote.




 

Fira as a asari Councilor raised her hand immediately. There weren't any other hands up. Suddenly after a moment vas Nillis' hand raised bashfully.

 

  * So with this result I am finishing our meeting.




 

Shepard fell on her chair. What came over her? She really wants to activate unidentified relay? Only a nut or a suicide can do this.

After the meeting Shepard wanted to see Garrus as soon as possible. When they met he also seemed to be bored and tired with all this political stuff. When they were close to each other all tension went far away. He hugged her with his strong arm and kissed her forehead. Passers-by seemed to be little puzzled, sight of turian-human couple surely wasn't common. They left the hall and started to move to Citadel taxis.

 

  * I'm angry – Shepard was walking quickly, Garrus could hardly keep pace with her – do you think it's fair what she's doing?

  * I think darling you're little prejudiced against her – he finally caught up with her and grabbed her shoulder – you've already known what she's like, she needs to prove herself.

  * Not at all costs – snorted Shepard – where are you taking me? – she asked not wanting to continue this topic.

  * Er... Surprise – he said – but coming back to the topic of relay you have to admit it's really interesting. I thought yours was the last.

  * Milky way is giant. I'm sure we will never be able to get to know all its secrets and our relay wasn't the last. Relay leading to Gaia escaped your attention. Fira want to seize her power and nobody knows why.

  * Yes you're right but tell me why is that relay different than others? Isn't it interesting?

  * Maybe it is, maybe it is not, I don't know. I don't want to get my people into trouble. I am responsible for them.

  * My little Shepard cares about others so much that she often forgets about herself – he hugged her firmer – but honey it's high time to change it.

  * What do you me... – she didn't end because they started to bring closer to Citadel Clinic and suddenly she understood everything – Garrus – she said sharply – I know you're worrying about me but I want to ensure you that you don't have to think of me all the time.

  * I know that I don't have to but I want to. I do it for a woman I love, for a woman who still wants to be with me in spite of my uncountable... flaws.

  * So demure and chivalrous as always – a radiant smile appeared on her face. OK if you insist I'll go there.

  * Wonderful. We are having an appointment in five minutes.




 

Clinic on the New Citadel seemed to be unchanged too. Sterile rooms full of modern medical equipment. Entering the clinic they ran into a turian couple with small silently sobbing bundle. Garrus bowed to a turian with slightly terrifying face and asked:

 

  * Ervin is it already?

  * No time to waste Vakarian. Years are passing, we won't be younger. You'd better hurry... too – he added eying Shepard up – and first-born it's something indescribable Garrus, I am so proud of him and of my Narra.

  * Congratulations – Garrus bowed again – but forgive us we have to go. We are having really vital appointment.

  * Goodbye Vakarians – he waved.




 

Shepard sighed. It wasn't good time for beginning this conversation. She didn't want to return to that topic which about they had talked before the final battle with Reapers. She knew that Garrus really wants to become a father and she can not give him a baby. Damn that was one more thing she blamed herself for. She needed to explain him everything but it's so hard. Her thinking of motherhood was so... different. Garrus tried to reel her up.

 

  * That was Ervin Metros my old friend. We met on training courses to C-Sec. I think he was the only one normal. We were getting along so well. After leaving C-Sec we lost contact. And now well, well Ervin is a daddy.

  * Garrus please not now. Now let's do what we have to. Maybe we'll talk about it later.

  * Maybe Shepard maybe...




 

They reached doctor's consulting room. Garrus knocked and grating voice answered 'Please come in'. They entered. They were expected by salarian woman wearing something similar to doctor's overall. Shepard hated doctors, they reminded her pain and horrible surgeries which she experienced a lot, including the last one – spine surgery.

 

  * And this is... – Garrus tried to introduce salarian – please meet...

  * Doctor Nida Solus – she reached out her hand in greeting – senior specialist in human anatomy and physiology.

  * Solus?! – goggled Shepard – are you...

  * Miss admiral it's quite popular surname among salarians – she blinked fast – but you're right. Mordin Solus was my uncle. He was interested in biology of all living beings in turn my passion are humans. No complains there – she added.

  * Your uncle was... a real hero – Shepard lowered her head reminding Mordin – what he did was real act of heroism, the biggest sacrifice I've ever seen.

  * Of course his merits are indisputable although among us my uncle is considered to be madman. Some of us said it was good for him that he didn't survive because he would be accused and sentenced.

  * What?! It's some kind of insanity – Shepard got angry – nobody can be punish for such a thing!

  * Please understand miss admiral we are not humans, we've got other priorities. We never put our personal businesses above these common.

  * Genophage was Mordin's personal business? – irritated Shepard – I don't even want to hear about it. For me your uncle was and always will be eminent scientist and great representative of his race. Actually I am here because of medical matters.

  * Oh yes – she realised – please show me the faulty part.




 

'Faulty part' thought Shepard. What else could you expect from person who'd spent most of her life in laboratories. She felt really sorry about taking Mordin's name in vain. He was cheerful spark on Normandy. She recalled his songs. She also remembered him advising her and Garrus in intimate matters. She's never said how grateful she was for this...

Shepard tried to get free of her uniform but she couldn't. Fortunately Garrus came with help. He became really good in undressing her and did it gently and quickly.

 

  * Good – doctor Solus started examination and making abstruse notes – classic work, changing titanium for an organic one. Growing new one made of natural tissue, about three hours, surgery also three, carefully removing titanium spine in order to not injure the spinal cord. Then replacing old spine with new one previously grown. Convalescence about a week. No rapid moves, avoiding bowing and lifting.

  * And that's all? – asked Shepard really bored.

  * Yes, that's all – said doctor Solus – as I've said it's classical medical case, not the first one and not the last. I decided to undertake the treatment because Mr Vakarian recounted me about terrible scars and of course because of your unflagging fame admiral.

  * Thank you. When should I report to you?

  * Tomorrow at 8 everything should be ready.

  * Already at 8? – she looked at Garrus uncertainly – I don't know if I'll be ready. Everything is happening so fast.

  * There's no cause for concern admiral. I want to ensure you it's small surgery.

  * OK I'm keeping your word. Then see you tomorrow.




 

Nida Solus only nodded. When room's door closed Shepard started to panic. She was terribly scared of any surgical interferences into her body. Usually it was that way: she was unconscious because of some injuries (once even dead) then laid on operating table and finally cut to doctors' heart's content. And now she is voluntarily undergoing an surgery. She thought she got crazy.

 

  * Come here Shepard – said Garrus silently standing close to barrier where they had wonderful view at other arms of Citadel – you're worrying too much, you have to know it's all for your own good. I can not look at your suffering and how your every step causes pain.

  * Maybe I wanted to identify myself with Joker? – she laughed and he touched her shoulder with understanding.

  * We had to talk about something sweetheart – he glanced her attentively.

  * I wanted to avoid it as long as possible – Shepard lowered her sight – it makes me scared and sad at once.

  * Fact that I want to become a father makes you sad? Calm down – he added seeing her face – I don't hold any grudge against you and I don't want to make any pressure but I just wanted to tell you that inter-species reproduction technologies are still proceeding. We are not the only one couple who wants to have own children...

  * That's not what I mean – said Shepard wiping unexpected tear from her cheek. Crap, she hated crying – I want you to understand. You had a great childhood surrounded by family you love. My childhood – she hesitated. Shepard has never told it to nobody but she felt that she's close enough to Garrus and she can open her heart – it's just moving from one Alliance's ship to the other. I often felt like extra luggage to my parents. What I heard often from them was: 'Honey, mummy and daddy are leaving for a mission. Please stay in your cabin and don't cause any troubles. When we return we promise you round of 'Cosmopoly'.




 

Garrus stood rested on the barrier. He fixed his eyes on space but he was still listening carefully. Shepard continued:

 

  * I began my solider training very early. It strengthened my character. There were other kids on board with me although not all of them had as much perseverance as I did. Most of them resorted to alcohol and drugs. It was just over. When I finished basic training I started to set off on my first missions without parents. I cared not to go with them. I saw them from time to time. Then mother split up with father and we completely lost contact. I talk with my mother... sometimes. We'd rather not weep out to each other.

  * And don't you want to change it? – asked Garrus with care – after all these years... Find them, forgive them?

  * No – she denied flatly – anyway you saw what the Reapers did to humanity. My mother exists somewhere, I got short message from her right after war and father... I don't even know if he's alive.

  * I am aware of it – he nodded – but remember Shepard I'm not your father and you're not your mother. I will never leave you and our child. And you don't have to make tough choices between military and family. You are not a solider anymore.

  * I'll always be a solider. Military is part of my life, it's in my blood – she looked at him sadly – My parents condemned me and I don't want to do this to my own child.

  * I understand everything honey – Shepard was hugging him so firmly that he felt his uniform soaking with her tears – I'll support you. You will never ever be alone. Our decisions will be ours forever and we will get through their consequences together. Please remember about it.

  * Thank you Garrus – she looked at him, her face was still covered with tears – I should have known that I can count on you and I know that there's no Shepard without Vakarian. Just let me overcome my last fears and let me use to new circumstances. Our relationship is totally different than others. Those weren't based on real love they were just fleeting romances. With you I feel completely different.

  * And I want to thank you Shepard for agreeing to this treatment. As soon you get well we are setting off to Palaven. You'll meet my old boy.

  * With you Vakarian even to other galaxy – she grabbed his hands – but now let's go to some restaurant, I'm starving.

  * Sure but only on the condition that they do not serve quarian pap.




 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,   
> I've been posting my story for a month. Since that time I haven't got any comments from you. I'd be very happy if you tell me what you think about my story. I dedicate my whole free time writing and translating it so all your comments (both praising and criticizing;) ) will be appreciated.

Shepard was running ahead. She was flagging, she wouldn't be able to go further. She was still hearing sound of the battle. Her sight became dim. Someone on her right side was getting closer. Shepard tried to shot but gun misfired. Husk grab a hold of her. She tried to shake him off but she was enervated. Pain burnt her shoulder. Suddenly some shots were fired. Garrus! That's him! She'd lost him while he had been fighting with some banshee. She had had to left him behind. But now he was here. She owed her life to him one more time. He was silent. Shepard tried to shout something but here voice was heard somewhere far. Garrus gave her keen look and said 'Only I can do that'. He turned and started to go towards the Reaper. Shepard tried to follow him but she fell. She was shouting something but her voice dissolved. Garrus was getting closer to the Reaper. He was in range of Reaper's ray. Suddenly red light flashed. Garrus disappeared and Shepard felt that she was sinking into nothingness.

 

  * Miss admiral please open your eyes – heard Shepard – it's over now.

  * What? What happened? – she opened her eyes rapidly – Is everything all right?

  * Yes miss admiral surgery ended successfully – confirmed doctor Solus.

  * Oh surgery – Shepard clutched her head – I have completely forgotten. I thought I'm somewhere else. I'm sorry – she added.

  * I want to ensure you it's normal reaction. As I've said everything went according to plan without any complications. We gave you quite big amount of painkillers, so now you can get well without any troubles.

  * How long do I have to stay here? – Shepard kept asking.

  * For sure today and maybe few hours tomorrow – replied doctor Solus looking at her notes.

  * Oh my god – Shepard fixed her eyes in the ceiling – I can not remember when the last time I had to lie motionless for such a long time.

  * It's for your health admiral. Just a few days and you'll be able to run.




 

Shepard couldn't recall such a boring afternoon. She couldn't turn, she couldn't lift, she could do nothing apart lying on her back. About midday some nice nurse slipped her an extra pillow. That day Shepard watched all news from Citadel, one tear-jerker about asari who was unluckily in love, she solved a few crosswords but nothing helped reducing feeling of powerlessness in grounding her to this damn hospital bed. Garrus promised to drop in in the evening because he had to take care of some important matters. Thankfully Helen came to her with relief. As usual she brought a huge wave of energy which could be able to cheer up even an elcor. Leaving Earth was respite for her. She couldn't look at place which at first had given her life and later it was dying. She felt really good on New Citadel. Temporarily she got a room in a hotel. She didn't complain about standard although when she'd seen Shepard's apartment for the first time shadow of jealousy had crossed her face.

 

  * How do you feel miss admiral? – she asked enthusiastically.

  * How should I feel Helen? – replied Shepard with resignation – they ripped out of me huge piece of metal which I suppose you remember well and then they put back something what is like real human spine.

  * Please don't be so critical admiral. I see it's not so bad as you say but you are maybe a little... bored.

  * As always you hit the nail on the head Helen. Do you have any news for me?

  * Actually nothing special happened. No word about that mysterious relay since the meeting. However I've heard some rumours that Fira is going to activate it on her own initiative.

  * Fuck – Shepard let it slip – I don't how much truth is in it but I didn't like that bitch from the beginning. She may do this but I don't want to prejudge anything. We don't have any absolute proofs do we?

  * No, as I've said these are just rumours. The only thing which is true is a fact that she is planning an excursion to the relay with that prothean...

  * With Javik? Oh wonderful. You don't even know how happy I am that he's on our side – Shepard got fed up with Fira and her greatness obsession

  * The prothean... – Helen pondered for a while – oh okay I'm back again admiral. Except that nothing really happened so you can lie here and rest.

  * But it's food for thought for me. Everything was expected to be fine, Reapers destroyed, and now some damn asari is trying to keep me awake at night. I thought that as a retired person I would have much peaceful life and I would take care of my private life – there Helen's interest raised. She was really interested in her life, sometimes even too much but all the same Shepard used to confide even the smallest problems to Helen because she knew that she can keep it in secret and always has some good word for her – I'm going on Palaven for a few days. Shall you take care of everything here?

  * Always at your service admiral. Everything will be under control. And can I ask you just out of curiosity – Shepard smiled – are you going to visit your turian in-laws?

  * Actually I have no idea what should I expect there – admitted Shepard – the only thing I know is that Garrus has a father he also mentioned his sister but that's all. There are still some unclear-points between us. We've had too little time to get to know each other well. The war joined us but didn't give us much time. That's why I'm counting for some peaceful moments just with him.

  * I keep my fingers crossed for your relationship – turians are so... attractive, aren't they? – she blushed.

  * They've got something what attracts women – agreed Shepard – I've never thought that I will bond with non-human. My life surprises me at every corner.

  * I won't disturb you more admiral. If something worries you then please write me. And please get well soon. Goodbye.

  * Goodbye Helen – answered Shepard and and got absorbed in her own thoughts.




 

That afternoon Shepard had one more unexpected visit. It was Tali. Shepard still couldn't get used mixing with her without her overall. Quarians look quite terrifying. They were similar to humans but their empty shiny eyes were really scary. As well as most of the species in the Galaxy they had three fingers in each hand and two in each foot.

 

  * I'm so glad you came Tali. I thought everyone forgot that I'm here – said Shepard. She looked at qurian's face. It wasn't as cheerful as usual. She seemed to be anxious – what happened Tali? You don't look good – she tried to start a conversation – does it have something in common with quarians? Please don't keep me longer in suspense – she added watching her face in tension.

  * No, Shepard – she answered at least – everything's fine with quarians. We live on Rannoch like hm... You humans would say in clover whatever this clover is. What is more now we are part of the council. We did the penance for our faults and after 300 years we've got what we wanted. My people are really happy Shepard.

  * So what's bothering you then Tali?




 

Tali gritted her teeth. She was really afraid to tell anyone what has tormented her for a few years. But that's why she came here. 'Maybe it would be better to jump to similar subject. With deep sight she said:

 

  * I drink more than I used to – 'That sounded bad' she thought.

  * You always liked to drink more than others – began Shepard gently. She didn't want to scare Tali away when she tried to open her heart.

  * I feel that lately it's getting out of my control – she continued with lowered sight. 'Damn ask me about it' she begged in thoughts.

  * And for sure you're here to talk about the reason? – said Shepard calmly lying her hand on Tali's knee.




 

Tali raised her head for the first time. Her lips were pursed, eyes moist.

 

  * I don't know if I should and all in all these are my personal problems. I don't want to destroy anything because of that I can not cope with them.

  * Please tell it Tali. We were one team, do you remember? We managed to beat the Reapers so now we can cope with every trouble.

  * Damn, Shepard! – Tali couldn't stand it any longer – it's about you and Garrus! I can not look at your happiness – she broke down completely.

  * Tali did you... did you and Garrus, oh god – she touched her forehead. She didn't want to listen to it, not now.

  * Yes Shepard, we've been together... for some time. We had broken up few weeks before he started to date you. Precisely he broke up, he said then 'I can not be with overall but with a real person'. I couldn't forgive him that. In that time work was cure for me. Staying with him on one deck became intolerable. I wanted so much to die on some mission, to end all of this. It was beyond my capabilities. When I got over my emotions I realised that he will always be important for me and this love will not leave me so easily.

  * Tali, I, I – Shepard became confused. She wasn't ready for what she has heard – I don't know what to say. I must analyse it in the bottom of my heart. I know nothing at that moment. Fuck. Why now? Why are you telling it right now?!

  * I'm an idiot Shepard – she wiped tears from her face – I don't know why did I say it to you. Maybe I'm hoping that you'll say: 'Sure Tali take him, he's yours, just go and be happy together'. Damn, damn Shepard. Forgive me all – she screamed and left the room.




 

Shepard was in a muddle. Nothing was logic there. Garrus, Tali, her head began to ache. Effect of painkillers weakened. Excess of emotions exhausted her, she fell asleep. Stroking woke her up. Garrus was sitting in front of her bed with one hand automatically stroked hers and with another holding his data pad and reading something. He didn't notice her waking up. She spoke to him in a hoarse voice:

 

  * Tali was here.




 

He put the data pad away and raised his right eyelid as usual when he needed to think of wording. He breathed air heavily bend down over her and said:

 

  * I guess I know what she wanted. I'm really sorry Shepard you should have known this from me. She wrote to me lately but I think she wasn't sober then. She begged me to come back to her. I'd like to help her but at once I'm afraid that she may take it as something suggestive. No matter which way I choose I am going to step into even bigger shit.




 

Shepard glanced at him suspiciously. She couldn't believe that it can be so simple.

 

  * Garrus that happened on my ship. How couldn't I notice it?

  * We didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't nothing serious at least for me.

  * I don't know if I can still trust you. You don't say anything about yourself.

  * Damn Shepard I love you. Isn't it enough? – he got angry – I know you humans sometimes consider us as brainless creatures whose existence is based on sexual drive but you have to believe me darling that contrary what is said about we are truly faithful race sometimes even more than you.

  * Oh I believe you Garrus but it's completely new for me .At first everything seems to be fine we're meeting here then we're having a wonderful sex, you are organising appointment with the doctor and we're planning to go on Palaven and suddenly it turned out that you have some secrets like romance with my subordinate and friend at once. Do you reckon if it's right?

  * No, I don't. I'm ashamed and that's why I'm explaining. I should have told you that earlier but I was afraid of your reaction and that you may leave me – he lowered his head – I told you many times I screwed up so many things in my life. Now I don't want to spoil our relationship.

  * Garrus now we have a good moment. Tell me everything what's lying heavy on you. Something about your family. We are going to visit them but I don't know anything about them.

  * All right Shepard. Anyway I planned to spend entire evening here with you. So my father, I mentioned him a few times. He professes all values of the true turian. He's principled. C-Sec duty is sanctity but privately he's a family and calm guy. He's of a certain age and just do not touch on military topic and you'll be perfect daughter-in-law – something similar to smile crossed his face. Shepard grabbed his hand tenderly.

  * You've told me that your sister lives with him too.

  * Yes, my sister Solana. She's seven years younger than me. Idealist like me. At the moment she's not on Palaven. She's volunteering on other planets, she's helping to handle war effects. Admittedly she doesn't get money for it but she explores the Galaxy what she's always wanted to do. As a matter of fact no in such circumstances but as an older brother I am proud of her. Sometimes I tell her, Solana stop, start a family but there she doesn't listen to me. I hope Shepard that she knows what she's doing, I trust her choices.

  * And what about mother?

 




Garrus turned his head away. His mandibles waved slightly. He did it always when conversation went onto thin ice. He nervously scratched the sheet with his middle finger.

 

  * She died. She was one of first casualties on Palaven. Damn, Shepard is too fresh for me...

  * Hush honey... It's fine Garrus – she put her hand against his mouth – that's enough. You don't have say nothing more.




 

He looked at her with thankfulness.

 

  * Who has sent you to me Shepard? – his sight almost got through her – tell me please what for have I been rewarded so generously? You are the most wonderful person I've ever reckoned with...




 

Shepard lying in her bed was watching him in silence. She felt it's high time for true. Stop analysing it, it's time to share these memories.

 

  * You want to tell me something, don't you? – Garrus as usual was one step ahead.

  * Yes – she nodded in agreement – that night which began in London happened something that I still can not comprehend rationally.

  * Calm down Shepard – he started to stroke her hand tighter – if you are not ready for it I'll understand.

  * It's not about that. I won't change what happened then – she shook her head rapidly – you remember me seeing you to the Normandy and saying goodbye?

  * Oh sure... That scar is still on my leg, like a small trophy from Earth – he tried to encourage Shepard with a joke.

  * Exactly. Normandy flew away and I started to move towards the beam sent out of the Citadel. Those fucking Reapers, I was jumping like a roe deer, a few times it was just few centimeters to... – Garrus squeezed her hand painfully – but finally I did it. Light of the beam dazzled me but I was still running into it. Then happened something... I even don't now what. I lost control of body and some force started to pull me up. I don't how much time took the flight, I had a strange impression that it took many many years. At last I fell on cold flooring. It was Citadel. Anderson was there. He was behaving really strangely, he was walking with difficulty even though he had no wounds. After a moment the Illusive Man appeared...

  * What?! – Garrus got angry – we searched the Galaxy through looking for that son of a bitch and he was there then...

  * Yes, he was. He was talking about the Reapers with adoration. He claimed that only he can control them. But I noticed his unnatural sight. He was indoctrinated by them. Then he ruled over my body. Involuntarily I took out the gun and shot Anderson. However the Illusive Man wasn't able to control my thoughts. I tried to talk some sense into him even though I realised that it can't help. He took the gun from Anderson and started to move towards me. I didn't want to end it that way especially we were so close the victory The Illusive Man put the gun to his temple and shot. My body belonged to me again. Anderson fell on the ground. I couldn't help him. I ran to the manipulating console and opened Citadel's arms. The crucible started joining the Citadel.

  * Citadel was a catalyst, wasn't it? – asked Garrus in tension.

  * At that time I thought the same but everything in turn. I heard a moan in the background. Anderson tried to stand up. His injuries were serious so I ordered him to sit. I joined him and told that we had done it, the crucible joined the Citadel. He was just nodding he wasn't strong enough to speak. I was getting weaker too but at the same time I begged him to not give up. He was fading away. His last words... He said that he was proud of me. At that time I also wanted just pass away. Adrenaline started to fade and then I felt burning pain in my left side. I touched that place and my hand covered in dark, dense blood. Afterward I heard Hackett's voice, it was calm. He told me that despite docking the crucible nothing was happening. It gave me strength to stand up. I had to do something. I barely crawled to the console. Buttons were quite visible for me. Hackett was still insisting 'Commander Shepard do something!'. I fell on the ground without consciousness. The last thing I remember was a flesh of some light probably coming out from the crucible. I woke up in some room which was unknown for me. I opened my eyes, each part of my body was screaming in pain. I saw a ball of light rolling towards me. It was the strangest thing I've ever seen on the Citadel – there she paused.

  * What happened? – asked Garrus – please continue, you're just about to finish.

  * It wasn't the ball of light. It was a boy.

  * A boy? Wait Shepard, are you talking about the same boy who you'd met during the first Reaper invasion on Earth and who was haunting you in your nightmares? – he asked disbelievingly.

  * Exactly it was the same boy. I have no idea how to explain it. The best explanation is that it just happened in my head.

  * It's impossible Shepard. At least Reapers were annihilated.

  * Yes... You may be right but only partly. He told me to stand up. His voice was horrifying and degenerated. It still sounds in my head even when it's only mentioned. He said that Citadel was his home and that he was... a catalyst

  * What are you talking about? How is it possible?

  * I'm telling you again, I have no idea. Then he added that Citadel was part of him and Reapers, Reapers were... Oh... – Shepard clutched her head – I don't understand anything.

  * What I've understood right now we can only conclude that Citadel is not protheans' work – he calculated coldly – so one question is raising another...

  * Let me finish Garrus, I'm getting tired.

  * Please continue.

  * He told me that he was ruling the Reapers and would show me ways to annihilate them. He said that Reapers were the only way to keep peace in the Galaxy because they were leaving undeveloped forms of life in order to repeat the cycle over and over again. He also mentioned creators whoever they are. The only thing he said about them is just they're in opposition to Reapers. Then he added that synthetics would never destroy whole organic life.

  * Such a consolation – muttered Garrus. Shepard looked at him strictly.

  * I answered him that there was no hope for organic life in the Galaxy. He denied, he said that hope was greater than I thought because every new cycle was creating new possibilities. He showed me first solution, red generator which purpose is destroying whole synthetic life but it could only end the cycle with consciousness that our descendants would create synthetics and whole cycle would repeat. I asked him if it was all what he could offer me. He denied again showing me blue generator of control. I told him it was impossible to control the Reapers because the Illusive Man had tried it unsuccessfully. Then he confirmed my theory that he had been indoctrinated before. He told me if I would do that my body would die but thoughts and memories would last. The whole time I felt like in some screwy dream. I wanted to pinch myself but he went on. He told me that there was completely new solution which even he hadn't expected. It was synthesis. The boy said it was the greatest form of evolution. You've just needed to jump into the crucible which would turn you into genetic pap in order to finish the cycle forever and keep both organic and synthetics and smash up all mass relays. Finally he ordered me to choose...

  * From my observation and your accounts I'm finding out that you destroyed the red generator didn't you?

  * Yes – Shepard nodded. She finally unburdened herself but she wasn't convinced if it helped. I did it what I've found right. I didn't want to control them because I still could saw the Illusive Man in my mind's eyes and that synthesis... something horrible, it scared me off. How could I change DNA of all live beings in the Galaxy? The most reasonable solution for me was to take the gun and fuck up the red generator. Sometimes I've got a feeling that I acted selfishly, maybe if I chose something else maybe EDI would be with us and geths too. I won't stand it any longer! This damn pain will blow my head off!

  * It's fine Shepard – Garrus stood up and embraced her firmly – you left it all behind and you did bet the Reapers. We are alive, there are no Reapers and mass relays are functioning well. You saved us and each of us owes you life. You are a hero and never ever say again that you didn't do your best!

  * Please Garrus, understand they'll come back. The cycle will start within next 50 thousand years!

  * Shepard just look at what we have now! – Garrus was shouting in euphoria – we started from scratch, we fought them back and now think of our civilization when it faces danger again we will be prepared and invincible.

  * Garrus, do you always have to speak sensibly? – she asked incredulously – you're right again – she snuggled into him.




 

The nurse entered the room. She was really pissed off.

 

  * Mr Vakarian I let you stay here for a night but I won't accept screams on my duty hours, understand?!

  * Yes, of course. We will shut up.

  * I hope so. You are lucky that today miss admiral is my only one patient and whatever please let her rest, she has already had an operation, she needs calm.

  * Naturally, I'm covering her and let her sleep.




 

The nurse shook her head but she laughed under her breath. Then she gave Shepard more painkillers and some sleeping pills. Shepard settled into her bed comfortably, she was much calmer. She swallowed all the capsules. Garrus covered her tight and kissed her lips and said:

 

  * Sleep well honey. Your Garrus is watching over.

  * I'm glad to hear it – Shepard felt sleepiness coming over her – I love you Va... – she yawned – aaakarian... – she fell asleep.




 

Next day she woke up rested. She almost felt her back again. Shepard looked at her right side. Garrus was sleeping on the chair with head rested on bed. Spikes of his fringe were shining in the morning light. She freed her numb hand from his head's weight and stroked his majestic fringe. Shepard didn't want to wake him up. He was sleeping tight. Then doctor Nida Solus entered the room. When she notice sleeping turian she began silently:

 

  * Good morning miss admiral. Here I've got your results and all of them are very good. There no contraindications to return to your duties. Without excess of course – there she looked at Garrus – all heavier activities like sexual one are inadvisable within one week. Today we only have to change the dressing, make some fast scan. And that's all, have a nice day admiral.

  * You too, doctor.




 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,  
> in this chapter Shepard and Garrus are going on Palaven :)   
> Still asking you for some opinions ;)  
> Enjoy.

  * I...hate... passenger shuttles... so... much... – drawled Shepard thrashing around with her seat belt.




 

They heard an announcement in the background. 'Dear ladies and gentlemen in five minutes we are beginning the flight to Palaven, please stay on your seats and fasten your safety belts. Possibility of free moving will be announced soon. We wish you a pleasant journey.'

 

  * Give to me – said Garrus impatiently and fastened her seat belt with one fluent move – you won't be flying with the five star Normandy whole life.

  * I don't expect it at all – she added sulkily – I've just expected something better from a VIP class...

  * Darling, I've explained you my fleet ship is on a review. We should be glad that we got tickets for this fight. Public transport on Palaven as you've noticed is not... common.

  * But I wonder what would happen if suddenly war broke out on Palaven while turians' Prymarch is trailing along through the Galaxy with some fossil.

  * Shepard! What are you talking about?!

  * I'm sorry, that was stupid but I'm a bit nervous and I need to blow off some steam – she tried to explain herself.




Their conversation disturbed next announcement 'Dear ladies and gentlemen, welcome on board of the Illium-Palaven shuttle. We want to inform you that safety belt can be refastened you can freely move on the deck. We would like you to take advantage of the bar which is located between deck number one and two. For your comfort there are showers on each deck. Planned arrival – 12.15 of local time. The shade temperature in Cipritine is now 45 degrees. To all non-turian passengers we recommend changing clothes to anti-radiantion cooling overalls. We would like to wish you pleasant journey again'

 

  * So Shepard are you slipping into your new overall? – he asked and his mandibles got contorted with some kind of malicious smile.




 

Shepard squinted her eyes. 'Overall, oh yes...' she thought. Garrus hasn't paid dearly for that. A few days ago they went to clothes shop on the New Citadel. Unfortunately there were hardly at all overalls corresponding to her needs. A kind salarian searched all backroom trying to find her size. He found one and ordered to try it on. When Garrus saw her he immediately gave a snort of laughter but later he tried to keep a straight face at all costs. When Shepard saw herself in a mirror she understood why. She looked like an asari stripper. And those colours! Eventually after quite long time slarian came back bringing one more found overall. Shepard tried it on, it was black, trimmed with golden thread and tight as hell. She stood in front of the mirror with pursed lips. She knew that, all or nothing. Then she looked at Garrus out of the corner of her eye. He stood straight and rubbed his chin with his fingers. His sight was incessantly fixed in her.

 

  * What do you think about it? I think it's... at least perverse – she said unconsciously stroking her bottom.

  * Perverse?! Shepard it's damn... sexy. I think I've never seen you wearing something like that. And your arse is... I ran of words.




 

Shepard turned scarlet. She glanced at salarian who suddenly got interested in something behind the window. She tapped her forehead but he didn't understand that gentle allusion. He was still starring at her with his mouth widely open.

 

  * So we take it? – she asked him but didn't get any answer – Mr Vakarian please come back down on Ear... that means Palaven!

  * Yes... I agree... on everything...

  * Okay so take out your credits, you're buying – she tried to change her setback into a small success.

  * For you everything Shepard – he still seemed to be hypnotized while paying to amused salarian.




 

She also matched some head-scarf to the set and when she tried it on she found out that she looked like a quarian. She got a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought of Tali. She didn't give any sign for some time. Supposedly she flew away on Rannoch...

 

  * So Shepard are you getting dressed? – he nudged her and she forgot about memories of that day.

  * Are you crazy?! – she bridled at this suggestion – I don't want you to get another one uncontrolled salivation Vakarian – always when teased him she called him by surname.

  * It's not my fault... You drive me wild... – he blinked – It has been some time since we...

  * Hush – said Shepard nervously looking around at other passengers – do you want to arrange orgies here on board? – she asked him laughing.

  * Hm... It didn't cross my mind but if you are offering...

  * I'm kidding dummy. Sure we've got some catching up to do after my convalescence but let's leave those pleasures for Palaven.

  * I am looking forward to it Shepard. As regards to your health you should walk a bit, you can not sit bent all the time, it's not good for your spine.




 

She looked and him really grateful. He always remembered about her. She agreed and stood up obediently. Physically she has almost got well. Lately they had even visited gym. She'd made some light exercises but had glanced at turian easily lifting up on the rod with jealous. With help of medi-gel last signs of surgical interferences were disappearing. When Shepard had looked in the mirror the day after surgery, she'd noticed that doctor Solus removed all the scars from her face.

The rest of the flight Shepard put up well although not without problems. She realised that she'd left bag with levo food while they'd changed on Ilium. Unfortunately the cook specialized only in dextro dishes. The only thing he could find for her were little chicken, dried rice and some terribly bitter sprouts. After that incident she swore, never ever again passengers shuttles. She regretted that she had not asked the Alliance for some tiny ship with full fridge. For sure they would help their admiral but in this case they will have to escort her out after stay on Palaven because of heavy malnutrition. Garrus ensured her that in capital there's some shop with food for her.

At the end of the flight she changed to her new overall. She was still looking in the mirror with discontent. But well, if Garrus was satisfied... She returned to her seat unwillingly because she had an impression that everyone was looking at her bottom tightened with the overall. When they were landing she glanced at her fiance. He wanted to comfort her but he seemed to be nervous too. When she asked him about it he answered:

 

  * Nerves are something normal I think. Eventually I'm introducing you to my father. We have the only one chance to make a good impression, don't we?




 

She responded him with a gentle kiss. He was so cute when nervous. They heard the last announcement 'Dear ladies and gentlemen we are approaching Cipritine docking bay on Palaven. Please stay on your seats and fasten your safety belts again. We wish you a pleasant stay and thank you for using our service.'. That time Shepard didn't even try to fasten her seat belt, at once she turned herself over to Garrus.

When they landed he grabbed her around waist in order not to disappear in the crowd of other turians leading to the exit. He claimed he didn't want her to find somebody more handsome in first minutes of stay. They left the shuttle. Indeed the temperature was extremely high and Shepard started to praise her suit which gave her pleasant waves of cold. She also put on huge sunglasses protecting her eyes from a local sun. She was surprised because their outcome caused excitement among the gathered crowd.

 

  * Please welcome our Prymarch Garrus Vakarian and his human intended admiral Shepard – shouted turians waving.




 

One turian came out of the crowd and Garrus introduced him immediately.

 

  * Shepard please meet my deputy and adviser Ananis Verstos – the turian nodded.

  * Nice to meet you – said Shepard with one hand still protecting herself from a blinding light.

  * There's no point in tormenting her Garrus – said Verstos – our climate is not proper for humans. I'm sorry for this confusion, someone needed overheard that you're coming and that's why we have these crowds here now.

  * No problem Ananis, ordinary Prymarch's life. Could you arrange us some transport?

  * Sure Vakarian, are you going to the palace or...

  * No, we are going to my father's house.

  * So there you've got a skycar – he pointed small vehicle in the end of the docking bay.

  * I'm driving – said Garrus looking at Shepard – I'm sure we don't want to cause any accidents here, don't we? See you after my leave Verstos! – he shouted to the turian who tried to control the crowd. Verstos just waved knowingly.




 

Shepard entered the vehicle still covering her face. She was sure she went blind. Garrus darkened car windows and she could finally open her eyes. Colourful spots were flashing in front of her eyes but she still could see.

 

  * I'm taking you from here my love – he said touched – flight to suburbs will take only few minutes.




 

They were sailing over the Cipritine. It was broad city similar to the Earth ones in their heyday. High majestic skyscrapers were alternating with oasis of urban greenery. Shepard knew that turians had had to rebuild it from scratch. During three years they had built whole cities. Citadel had been rebuilt too and she had only sent her people to other planet and had changed Earth into big grave...

 

  * Wait, wait Garrus did your adviser mention something about your palace? – she reminded turian's words.

  * What do you think, that turian prymarch is supposed to live in a small cottage on suburbs? – Garrus laughed mockingly – it's the Prymarch's Palace. There lives every incumbent prymarch. But its name overstates it a bit. As a matter of fact at my disposal I have few bedrooms, offices and bathrooms but I am not attached to those rooms. They're cold, unpleasant. If I have possibility I sleep at home and when I am on leave nothing can drag me there.




 

Garrus gently parked the skycar in front of one-storey house on the hill. It was isolated from other buildings. The ground was overgrown with some kind of silver moss and around the house there were trees which Shepard has seen for the first time in her life.

 

  * Our houses are made of special materials – Garrus answered for Shepard's unasked question – although the evolution gave us carapaces we prefer avoiding strong radiation. Thereby your stay will be less troublesome.

  * I already like it – said Shepard breathing in heavy air.

  * Let's go inside – added Garrus flinging their bags over his shoulder.




 

They were climbing a small hill. The place was shaded so Shepard didn't have to worry about her eyes. Someone was out for them. It had to be Garrus' father.

 

  * Welcome home son – his voice was almost identical to Garrus'. Shepard knew that no once she will mistake father with son just because of their voices. But it wasn't the only thing which joined them. Mr Vakarian looked like older copy of Garrus. The same physique, these eyes, mandibles and the fringe. He was just a bit shorter and seemed more tired with life. Well it wasn't nothing surprising, loss of wife, exhausting war. Awhile a stupid thought crossed her mind, if she gave birth to a son would he look like these two too? – and this have to be your intended son – he asked glancing Shepard curiously.

  * Yes father, this is admiral Shepard, let's meet – said Garrus, his voice was tense.




 

In that moment Shepard froze. How do turians actually greet? How do turians greet with humans? Shaking hands, hugging or just ordinary 'good morning' will be enough?

 

  * I'm so glad to meet you Mr Vakarian – said Shepard only, not going in any physical contact with him. Garrus always told her such things about him that now she felt a bit abashed.

  * Please come in – he offered – we won't stay here all day long.




 

Turian interiors were similar to the human ones from the end of the 21st century. Rooms were spacious floored with huge cold tiles which brought some cool during heats. Also there were many things which use Shepard didn't know.

 

  * Please go to the living room – he invited them with a gesture.




 

Shepard glanced at Garrus. He seemed pleased, well he was at home.

Fortunately the living room was shaded and cooled enough that Shepard started shivering in her overall.

 

  * Do you think I can change clothes here? – she asked Garrus hesitantly.

  * Sure, here you've got your bag, go upstairs, we are going to have some talk then – he said blinking.




 

Shepard found something like bathroom. Another dark but tiny room with some stone bowl, presumably a washbasin and a small shower in the corner, she was glad seeing quite big mirror. She dressed white t-shirt and comfortable jeans. She combed hair with her fingers and primped her make-up. Not so long ago she has found out that apart being a solider she's woman too. She got quite thrilled with that discovery. Actually relationship with Garrus reminded it to her. She didn't complain about it but sometimes she caught herself spending more time in front of the mirror than she wished.

She went downstairs. Garrus seemed to be in hurry again.

 

  * Shepard, love, listen I have to go out for a while. Dad did do the shopping but he forgot that you are levo and I realised you haven't eaten for many hours so I am going to fix something as soon as possible. You can not nourish yourself only with water.

  * Thank you Garrus – said Shepard and her stomach sounded gratefully. In fact there has passed some time since her last 'meal'.

  * Just be nice to father and don't let him do as he pleases – he whispered to her ear – I will come back soon.




Shepard returned to the room in which was Mr Vakarian. She haven't felt so stressed for a long time. Even since she had crossed the Omega-4 relay. She could even venture an opinion that since the Reaper war. He was sitting on the sofa reading something on his data pad. Shepard still had an impression that she had older Garrus to reckon with. He noticed her shyly standing at the door. Damn,she wasn't shy in general! And in front of her man's father she wanted to vanish in thin air. Do all prospective in-laws have such an effect on women?

 

  * Sit Shepard – he showed her place in front him – I suppose you don't want to spend all day lying in wait at the door?

  * Sure I didn't intend to – she blushed slightly. 'Calm down and breath slowly' she said to herself in thoughts – I, I've just... – apart all of this she began stuttering – I'm just little nervous with this new situation and please do not view it as something personal.




 

She sat in front of him still feeling tense. Minutes were passing, they were glancing at each other from time to time without saying a word. At last Mr Vakarian couldn't stay the silence.

 

  * I think Garrus told you a bit too much about me didn't he? – he raised his keen sight but he tried to smile – I know, I know, I used to be too harsh for him but it was all for his good. I wanted him to grow into decent man and I won't deny, I did it – he added immodestly.

  * Garrus is wonderful Mr Vakarian, first of all he's an excellent solider, faithful in his beliefs. All war long he fought bravely and we have to remember that meanwhile he had lost all his squad on Omega. Privately we get on well too.

  * Your relationship changed him too. He stopped thoughtlessly chasing through the Galaxy, he is more careful than he used to be, finally he started to value his life because he realises if he lost it another person would suffer. I know you didn't have much time for yourselves because of duties. Enjoy yourselves. I wish you all the best. I don't know you well but I trust Garrus. I used to have strong influence on his decisions, spectre training for example...

  * Yes, he mentioned it.

  * That's why I don't want to influence on his choices anymore. He knows well what's the best for him.

  * Please tell me honestly Mr Vakarian what did you think when Garrus told you about our relationship for the first time? – asked Shepard taking her courage in both hands.

  * Honestly... Hm... I think I wasn't delighted. You know I'm from that generation who remembers First Contact War. I realise that times are changing and everyone's different. Believe me Shepard I struggle with superstitions all the time. I see that primal hate between our species vanished. You are on our side. Garrus told me that he feels like you're one of us.

  * I feel the same way – Shepard smiled – maybe it will sound trivial but Garrus gave me strength during the war. Without him I couldn't do that.

  * Sure you could. Not as stylishly of course, I told you that many times – Garrus came back with bag full of shopping and looked at her jauntily – come, you'll eat something, you don't look well – he added reaching his hand to help her stand.




 

It was evident that Garrus selected products for her carefully. Meat, dairy, fresh fruits and vegetables. He even bought her favourite wine, 'Will be perfect for the evening honey, you'll relax a bit...'

Vakarians and Shepard ate dinner in a family atmosphere. They were joking and laughing. Shepard was looking at turian food quite disguised because it seemed for her at least inedible. When they were finishing their meal, Mr Vakarian offered:

 

  * Garrus let's show Shepard the neibourhood.

  * I thought about it dad but I'd wait for the sunset, I can not jeopardize my girlf... that means my fiance.

  * Fiance? – asked Mr Vakarian.

  * Yeah, humans before bonding so... you know seriously, pledge such a thing and so did I to my Shepard – he hugged her firmly and sunk his face into her hair.

  * Humans still surprise us – pondered Mr Vakarian – so my dear I see it's time just for you. I won't disturb you any longer. I made an appointment with Raim for some drink.

  * Oh dad come on – bridled Garrus – you don't have to evacuate from here just because of us.

  * Garrus I know what it means to be young, I did not always have enough time and space with your mother as we wished. I don't want to take it away from you.

  * Thanks dad but I'd rather you stay. It's quite... awkward – seeing his father's sight he added only – all right go, I promise we'll be... polite.

  * Garrus – Mr Vakarian probably didn't take that not really successful joke – I don't judge you after all.

  * He only joked sir – Shepard tried to explain Garrus – even on Normandy nobody understood his jokes.




 

Garrus' father laughed. Garrus contorted his mouth into something like scoffing smile. Shepard couldn't stand too and burst out laughing.

 

  * Yeah, yeah that was so funny, we had a laugh – Garrus grew impatient.

  * Chill out, love, you're on a leave – said Shepard endearingly.

  * Yes... I think you're right – he admitted.

  * So lovers – Garrus' father rose from the couch – it's high time for me. Just have fun. Garrus don't forget to show our guest best places in the neighbourhood.

  * Obligatorily – he nodded.




 

Time which was left to the sunset they spent in Vakarians' house. They watched few episodes of vid which showed story of mutinous ardat yakshi who ran away from monastery. Vids based on events of the last war became so popular that sometimes truth in them blurred with fiction. One day Shepard had read that there were organised some castings in order to find an actress to play her. She had got slightly scared when she had seen alleged candidates, at least two asari and even a turian woman.

 

  * It's time to go Shepard – said Garrus straightening with blissful expression on his face – you want to see a piece of Palaven don't you?

  * Of course I do Garrus – she jumped to her feet.

  * So, let's go – he grabbed her hand and kissed its top – Shepard giggled what was completely not her style.




 

They went outside. The sky was cloudless and star-studded. The temperature dropped to about 25 degrees. Shepard breathed in lighter air. For humans Palaven was bearable only at nights. Vakarians' house was settled on a broad hill. They went behind the building. Some huge, old tree loomed on the horizon.

  * Look Shepard – Garrus pointed exactly on that tree. It was partly burnt however in some places Shepard could see small, fresh, green leaves – this place is an important part of my childhood. Here my old man taught me how to handle my first gun, then how to aim and finally how to shoot effectively. Believe me Shepard your Garrus hasn't always been an diligent student as you may consider. Sometimes I rebelled, failures discouraged me. At that time I sat under that tree saying I couldn't get any better. After that intervened my father. He has always known how to convince me. Without using violence of course – added Garrus seeing Shepard's eyebrows raised – this tree is several hundreds years old. Just one Reapers' raid and everything's pounded to rubble. When we came back here, we were shocked, house ruined but our tree was still there, yeah almost burnt but already with new marks of life.

  * I'm glad you told me that – she leaned her head on his shoulder – we are almost family, aren't we?

  * Sure we are, sweetheart, I love you – he snuggled his head into her hair again, he needed to have some fetish of them – let's go.




 

They started to going down the hill. Next they were going through the a new forest consisting of silver conifers. After five minute march Shepard felt a scent. A scent which she hasn't felt for a long long time and even when she felt it, seemed to her so unrealistic and distant. It was scent of sea. Dried soil under their feet was gradually changing into a velvet sand. When they left the forest they perceived beautiful, broad horizon with smooth sheet of water. Over the line which separated water and a sky hung, like on a thread, giant, majestic moon. This view was even more beautiful than when she had gone on Earth, on holiday. Parents had taken her to Hawaii. It was their only one holiday spent together.

 

  * Beautiful isn't it? – asked her Garrus.

  * Wonderful – she replied – an incredible view...

  * Let's sit here – he pointed at place on sand.




 

Shepard sat at his side. She sunk her bare feet into warm sand. Next incredible feeling. Night, sea and her man. She looked at him, he seemed to be lost in contemplation.

 

  * Is it Meane? – asked Shepard gazing at the moon. They met there after fights behind Omega-4 relay.

  * No... Menae is there – he showed the other side of the sky – it's Nanus. During imru is always close to the Palaven.

  * Imru? – asked Shepard.

  * I think it's something like your summer. It put us in a certain mood that few months later many little turians are born.

  * How long is turian pregnancy? – asked Shepard suddenly. Garrus looked at her questioningly.

  * Why are you asking?

  * Just because of curiosity – she shrugged her shoulders.

  * For Earth months it will be, it will be... – he pondered counting – something about six months I think...

  * It doesn't matter – she waved.

  * Shepard... I want to show you something...

  * Yes? What... – she couldn't finish the sentence. She felt Garrus' rough and warm tongue slipping into her mouth. They have never kissed that way as Garrus considered that it may be dangerous for Shepard because of his sharp teeth. Even though he was careful and gentle and what is more so... skilful. Shepard picked up the gauntlet and repaid him the same way. Time was passing but they couldn't drag away from each other. French kissing was another milestone in their relationship. Garrus started to caress her skin with talons then he took off her shirt and after that he stood up immediately.

  * Stand up Shepard – he ordered suddenly.

  * Are you crazy?! I'm almost naked! – she shouted laughing.

  * And I'll be too soon! – he said taking off his all clothes. Shepard didn't have a choice. She got undressed completely too.

  * You went nuts Vakarian! – she shouted at him, he was running towards the sea.

  * Maybe I did but I always wanted to do this! Come to me Shepard, oh faster, why are still standing?! Come on it's just ordinary H2O, it won't hurt you!




 

Shepard dipped one foot into water, it was pleasantly warm. Garrus has already disturbed the ideal sheet of water. For her that kind of bath was something new too, she couldn't remind if she has ever swum naked. She dipped her other foot. 'You live only once Shepard' she thought and ran into water. She swam few meters. Garrus disappeared somewhere. In the water she felt even more lighter and nimbler. Suddenly something crept up on her.

 

  * Garrus! – she screamed – are you fucking crazy?! I thought somethings attacking me!

  * And that's true. I'm attacking you – answered the turian – you swim well. I think I'm getting jealous seeing your skills...

  * You think I haven't been taught how to swim in the Alliance? – Shepard couldn't stop smiling – obligatory activities on a second year.

  * Hm... – he murmured – in case of attack such a nut like me?




 

Shepard answered him only with a smile. Their foreheads brought closer. In the water Garrus seemed to be softer than he really was. Their lips met again in a passionate kiss.

 

  * The most beautiful in whole Galaxy – he brushed away her wet hair – and only mine.

  * I could say the same about you Vakarian.

  * Not so long ago, on the Normandy, you made fun of me, you remember after Blue Suns' attack that I was as ugly as usual.

  * Ha ha! – she laughed – I needed to build up your confidence.




 

They arranged some small swimming competition. Shepard triumphed twice. Garrus didn't seem to be happy but acknowledged his failure. They get out of the sea. Nanus was going down it looked as it drowned in the water. They stood still for a moment in order to admire that taking breath away view. When they dried a bit, they began getting dressed lazily. That evening belonged to them.

When they returned home Garrus told her that he needed some quick shower because if sea salt would get into his carapace it would cause burning. In the meantime he led her to his room. It was small, quite cluttered up. There Shepard felt his interest in humans. Old Earth vids, called movies in times when they had been shot, some CDs with music and even... Kama Sutra.

 

  * Where did you get it? – asked Shepard surprised – this one is so old, you needed to pay fortune for it.

  * I bought for it for a song from some craving drug addict on Omega few years ago. Have you heard that culture and religion of Earth East are really popular among turians?

  * Yeah... I've heard something about that. What about you, do you practise?

  * Not remotely – he shook his head – you know I prefer other solutions – he tapped his partly burnt sniper rifle hanging on distinguished place. Okay Shepard I'll be right back. Feel like at home.




 

She looked around the room with curiosity. She found there huge collection of weapons, lots of photos of Garrus and his family, and from C-Sec times. In the corner there was a narrow bed and just beside it big soft armchair over which was slung Garrus' formal uniform. It was black with maroon gussets and a golden zip. Shepard could hear water burbling. She uncovered heavy curtain and saw a balcony. After that discovery she opened the door and went outside. Refreshing wind was blowing drying her wet hair. Then she heard Garrus leaving the bathroom and bustling around the room. After a while he was just behind her...

 

  * Shepard – he purred to her ear, unexpectedly slipping his hand into her pants.




 

Shepard took a deep breath and moaned silently. She completely didn't expect that. His fingers gently opened a little her lips and capably found her clitoris. Garrus knew her sensitive spots well and how make her pleasure. He was making circles around his aim. Shepard's breath became faster. With free hand Garrus raised her t-shirt and started to stimulating her nipples which hardened instantly. She turned her face to him but he didn't discontinued acting.

 

  * What are you doing Vakarian? – she asked him moaning and trembling of arousal.

  * You know well what I'm doing – he answered looking at her with lust – you, humans call it foreplay – he added intensifying his movements.

 




Shepard bent on the barrier. Damn, how did he do this... His every movement was so precise. How did he know where in the exact moment she wanted to be touched? Her favourite black lingerie fell on the ground.

 

  * Rest your leg on me – he ordered. She obediently put her leg on bone sticking out of his calf. Quite comfortable.

  * Oh Garrus how long are you going to torture me this way? – she panted sinking her nails into his shoulders.

  * As long as necessary darling – Garrus growled in a really sexy way.




 

He was completely naked. His carapace was glittering in the moonlight. His muscles were tense and a blue member, full of blue turian blood, was ready to an action. But Garrus hasn't finished with her yet. His thick fingers went down and sunk into her. That did it. He boosted his movement again. Shepard felt approaching orgasm. Just, just a second... No! Garrus withdrew his fingers, she looked at him unconsciously.

 

  * Why did you do that?! I was so close!

  * I know Shepard – he said with a little malice in his voice – I did it intentionally. Don't you think this kind of finish would be too easy?

  * No, don't think so – she said angry with him because the best orgasm in her life has just got away.

  * Oh, quiet – he murmured and picked her up and carried her back to the room.




 

Garrus laid Shepard on his bed. She was still following him with squinted eyes. She was mad. Garrus couldn't stand that situation any longer and burst out laughing.

 

  * Honey, don't be offended, it wasn't the end. As usual I have something extra up my sleeve.

  * Like what? – she asked folding her arms.

  * You asked Mordin's advice and now I ask his niece – he explained looking for something in his bag – I'm going to caress you... orally.

  * What?! – Shepard get out of bed – you know that it may be danger to both of us and end with at least anaphylactic shock!




 

Garrus looked at her overjoyed. He has finally found what he was looking for. Some small flask with golden liquid inside.

 

  * What's that? – she asked still unconvinced to her lover's idea.

  * Antiallergic oil – he said unscrewing the bottle – medicine is progressing in the right direction. Different species, often with opposite DNA have started to mix with each other and here we've got it. Do be afraid Shepard, everything's under control.




 

He poured small amount of oil on his hand. It had nice, sweet smell. Garrus rubbed it and put on Shepard's intimate places. Shepard since the beginning of their relationship had been convinced that they will never be able to make that kind of caresses just because of their opposite DNA. Every contact of their body fluids might cause serious health consequences. However Garrus wanted more. He's almost took an action...

 

  * Do turians do it normally? – Shepard stopped him again.

  * It's not quite popular – he shook his head – because of our build – he added showing his mouth – at least I and any of my girls have never tried it. Damn too many vids from Joker but I think I liked it Shepard.

  * It's not a proper time to remind your ex and Joker's vids, let's get back to work.




 

Garrus' eyes opened widely, his mandibles waved and with guttural purring he dived between her thighs. Firstly he caressed their inner side leaving there soft kisses. Then he carefully nibbled her lips. He always teased her that way, slowly slowly to all of sudden hit the target. It reminded her Garrus' action in battlefield. First he had been hiding in order to finally leave his hideout and give the fatal shot. That happened now. He attacked her with his skilful and tongue. Shepard felt again increasing arousal. Her cheeks turned pink, breath got faster. She caught back of the bed. Her body bent in satisfaction. Garrus joined his fingers again. She started to tremble again. Shepard was afraid that Garrus won't let her finish again. But he didn't stop. His tongue moved faster and so did his fingers. Shepard felt familiar wave of warmness spilling all over her body from genitalia to her face. She gave out a triumphal moan. Satisfaction flashed in Garrus' eyes. He straightened proudly on the bed. Shepard still couldn't recover after huge dose of sensations.

 

  * You're a fucking artist Vakarian – she sighed tenderly stroking his face.

  * It's my pleasure – he answered panting too.

  * I'm sure you'd like me to repay you Garrus?

  * Oh Shepard you should know I'm not forcing you to do this. It would be great to try something new but I'm not insisting if you don't want or you're afraid of...

  * Vakarian, Vakarian I faced Reapers so why do I have to be afraid of your penis? – laughed Shepard – please stop kidding me.




 

Garrus laughed too. But he froze silently when noticed her pouring portion of oil and rubbing it in her hands. She came dangerously close. Garrus swallowed, he was ready but a bit nervous too. When she grabbed his cock, Garrus' pulse raised immediately, heart was beating very quickly. 'Oh, come on do it Shepard', he thought. When she took it in her mouth for the first time, he got on the edge. Then Shepard began to lick and suck his member, strange taste but incredible and new feeling for both of them. He closed his eyes and set his teeth. She glanced at him extremely delighted.

 

  * Fuck, Shepard – he moaned in his style – have you been taught that in Alliance too? – he asked, his body was shaking.

  * How to satisfy turians? Facultative activities – she joked and began to finish her job.




 

Garrus growled and purred in excitement. He tore another sheet with talons and Shepard was really glad it wasn't her skin.

 

  * I'm about to finish Shepard, you'd better move.




 

She helped him coming only with her hand. After reaching climax Garrus fell on pillows breathing heavily. She laid next to him.

 

  * Thank you, love – he said and lazily closed his – it was something extraordinary, we have to do it again, sometime.

  * Not even once Vakarian. I like to look at you when you're happy.

  * And so do I... – he said scrambling on her. Shepard was impressed seeing his instant regeneration after orgasm. In less than no time ready to action. Oh those sexually unsatisfied turians... – what Shepard, you thought we would end? – he asked seeing her startled face – no way, if we do something, so let's have the job done properly.

  * Sure Vakarian. I don't mind it – she said embracing his neck.

  * So please tell me miss admiral, how would like to be fucked today, gently and slowly or maybe fast and savagely?

  * Prymarch – she picked up – today I'd like to... Maybe let's start slowly and then when our bodies will catch the rhythm, let's be ruthless.

  * Yes, madam – he answered and began to explore her mouth again. Whole world stopped for them.

  * Damn Shepard, who designed you? I can barely enter you – he said making first shoves.

  * I can't complain Vakarian – she replied enjoying pleasant filling.




 

For her it was another ethereal sex. In fact Garrus began slowly and gently but in the course of time their hormones predominated and they made wild and passionate love. Every his ejaculation was an orgasm for her because turian sperm had such property that caused immediate climax for his partner and Shepard considered it as the best 'invention' in the Galaxy.

Shepard had an impression that sometimes she screamed too loud, such a luck Garrus didn't have any neighbours. She didn't know how much time they spent making love. It needed to take them many hours because when they fell asleep it began to dawn.

 


	8. Chapter 8

After sensations of last night Shepard slept tight. However she wasn't able to sleep long. A troublesome knocking disturbed her sleep for some longer time. A hangover? It's impossible she had drunk only few glasses of wine. She nudged Garrus.

 

  * Garrus stop it, I can not sleep!

  * Damn Shepard I thought you're knocking.

  * No, that sound is coming from somewhere else. Maybe your father came back?

  * I don't think so, he ensured me he'll return something about midday, he is very punctual, anyway as every turian.

  * Should I go and check it? – asked Shepard hesitantly – and what if it's a burglar?

  * There you've got guns Shepard – he muttered drowsily.

  * You're kidding me right?

  * Sure I am, just go and see what's going on, when you'll start to scream or I'll hear some shots then maybe I'll drag myself out of bed, but right now I feel here perfectly...

  * Oh Vakarian, Vakarian, okay I'm going down, on your responsibility.

  * Hm... – Garrus fell asleep again.




 

Shepard went downstairs silently. Sounds were coming from the kitchen. Shepard got really frightened. It wasn't her house and she didn't have any idea what could it be. She heard steps. Unintentionally she tripped over some object standing in a corridor. That made the person speak:

 

  * Garrus, is it you? – asked hesitantly woman's voice. Shepard entered the kitchen.

  * No, it's not Garrus – Shepard replied to a young turian woman with obvious Vakarian look.

  * Oh... that's... Excuse me I don't see humans very often, especially in my house.

  * You must be Solana? – Shepard, not knowing why, felt abashed again.

  * That's right, Solana Vakarian, really nice to meet you. And you must be Shepard.

  * Yes... – she admitted – I've heard you're on Tuchanka.

  * Tuchanka... Yeah... – she pondered exactly the same way which Garrus did – huge hole full of horny Krogans. But when you get message that your sister-in-law is coming, it worth drifting through the whole Galaxy.




 

Shepard smiled warmly. After a moment she heard heavy steps on the stairs. Garrus was evidently curious hearing friendly voices instead of shots and screams.

 

  * Solana! – he said really surprised. He was wearing only white t-shirt and boxers shorts – I thought you are on...

  * Tuchanka. Yeah, yeah, I know but I came. It's good to see you my little brother – they shook hands like usually soldiers do. 'Do all turians greet like this?', thought Shepard.

  * When did you arrive actually? – asked Garrus.

  * Yesterday evening. You weren't at home but I noticed some levo food in the refrigerator and I thought that you've already came too.




 

Shepard and Garrus looked at each other. Shepard's cheeks turned red, what Solana could hear the last night? She noticed her uncertain face and came closer.

 

  * I think I know what's going on. Yeah, I heard you even though it wasn't difficult. Your moans might even bring back varren from the dead.

  * Oh... I... we... apologize for that – stumbled Shepard – you could told us that you arrived or something... I couldn't predict it... – she felt her cheeks burning all the time.

  * Humans, humans – Solana shook her head – times are changing but you're still the same. It's nothing embarrassing, Shepard. It's normal, for us, turians, sex is the way to get to know each other well...

  * Enough Solana – said Garrus seeing Shepard's growing embarrassment – you are scaring our guest away.

  * I'm angry because humans with their culture full of religious stuff and oppression will never be free – angered Solana – never. Spirits, Garrus what did you do to her? – she asked anxious – have you seen her arms?




 

At that moment Shepard looked at them too. Indeed they were covered with marks of huge talons, some of them had even spots of dried blood.

 

  * It happens to us, sometimes... Small accident – Garrus lowered his sight like a little rebuked boy. It was clear that although Solana was younger than Garrus she could talk some sense into him.

  * I wrote you few times, humans – delicate skin, turians – tough carapace – she continued her speech.

  * That's nothing Solana I want to ensure you that I'll put a little medi-gel there and everything will heal quickly. Why are you interested in humans? – Shepard tried to change the topic.

  * Not in humans but in you – Solana blinked knowingly – since I have known that my brother bonded with a human woman I wanted to know everything about you. I started reading and searching information. I'll always help my brother Shep... Wait what's your name actually? Only Shepard and Shepard. I know that humans have names too.




 

Garrus looked at Shepard astonished. They have known each other for few years but he has never asked her about it. For him she was just Shepard.

 

  * Don't tell me Shepard – Garrus laughed – you really have a name?

  * What's strange about it? – she asked and her cheeks started turning pink again – I don't use it, it reminds me the past, which I don't want to remember – out of the corner of her eye she noticed their excited faces – okay, okay I'm doing it just because of you, but I want to inform you from above do not call me that on no account unless you want me to use my gun.

  * Oh come on Shepard – Garrus folded his arms waiting.

  * My names is Joanne, after my grandmother, but that topic is closed!

  * Joanne – muttered Solana – it suits you – she noticed Shepard's face – okay I won't say nothing more – she smiled – but if not Jo... if I can't use your name just agree on Shep, pretty please your surname is too formal for me.

  * All right, let it be – Shepard agreed finally – but only you can call me this way – these words she directed to Garrus, who was really enjoyed discovering little secrets of his fiance.

  * Tell us Solana – Garrus asked suddenly – how are things with krogans? Haven't you brought one of them maybe? – he pretended that he was looking out of the window.

  * Don't be funny – she replied – but what's happening there now it's the beginning of some kind of annihilation.

  * What's going on there? – asked Shepard.

  * First children after curing the genophage are born. It's a horror. krogans in a rut, all the time mad and horny. They destroyed more than Reapers I think.

  * And are you completely sure that you didn't get fertilised by any of them?

  * Yes, brother I'm sure. A turian is not wanted genetic material for krogans. They want to make new, clear clans. I don't know how about you but I am afraid of all of this, it might get out of control.

  * I didn't think about it when helped curing the genophage – said Shepard sadly – I just wanted to helped them. I saw their species dying and I cared about saving them.

  * I know Shep, I'm not blaming you – Solana looked in her eyes with deep understanding – I just wanted to say that it's really vital to bring in some restrictions or something like that...

  * You won't explain it to those horny krogans – interfered Garrus – and they won't persuade themselves to stop breeding, it would be shoot in the foot and any external interference would cause another genophage.

  * I know, I know – Solana got angry – I have to think it over, just give me some time.

  * Damn, I don't how did I do that but my girlfriend and sister are crazy Galaxy saviours – Garrus shook his head. Shepard gave him tender kiss for that cute statement.

  * Yeah, yeah, I see... lovers. I'm disappearing right now – said Solana making herself scarce.




 

Last evening on Palaven seemed really glum to Shepard. She would miss all those places which lately showed her Garrus and Solana. Turians' culture and art was completely dominated by military. From ancient times till the present day. They visited reconstructed old buildings belonging to turian fleet, temples and of course Prymarch's palace. Garrus among his workers was treated almost like a god. And so did turians treated Shepard, their war hero. The last day of Shepard's stay was very peaceful. Mr Vakarian was reading something and Solana was watching some new vid.

 

  * Damn, Garrus, it hurts – hissed Shepard when he rubbed ointment for burns into her arm.

  * It's your fault I told you not to expose yourself to sun – he replied calmly putting another layer.

  * You know, love – began Shepard – I started to think of...

  * Burning on sun? – he joked but when he noticed her serious sight he realised that's not proper time for stupid jokes.

  * No, not about it – she shook her head nervously playing with her hair – Garrus I think I matured to a serious decision – he glanced at her searchingly.

  * What do you want to tell me? – he swallowed loudly.

  * Garrus, I agree. I want to have a baby with you but remember – she interrupted him when he was opening his mouth – only on the condition that no one can suffer neither you and me nor our child.

  * Shepard darling it's the happiest day in my entire life! You don't even know how thrilled am I.

  * Calm down Garrus, I only agreed, I'm not pregnant yet.




 

Solana and Mr Vakarian as yet occupied with their own matters started to listen in to their conversation.

 

  * See grandpa? – said Solana smiling to Mr Vakarian – our family is going to enlarge soon.

  * Not soon – Shepard lowered her head – my agreement is just beginning of a long way if it's possible at all.

  * With your potential... – began Solana.

  * Shepard, sweetie it is possible – Garrus continued in excitement – I've already talked with doctor Solus and she told me that...

  * I see that you're one step forward again – Shepard raised her eyebrows but smiled after a moment.

  * Please contact her when you arrive on Citadel – Garrus lifted her chin and looked deeply in her eyes – this is the best birthday gift I've ever get.

  * You've got a birthday? Why didn't tell anything?

  * It doesn't matter for turians – he shrugged his shoulders – but your gift's perfect, thank you.

  * Shepard, what are your plans after returning on Citadel? – asked Mr Vakarian.

  * Formalities, formalities, lot of paperwork. I am retired solider and have nothing more interesting to do – sighed Shepard – what is more I have to go on Gaia to see how are things.

  * Please come back once Shepard – said Mr Vakarian – we'll always welcome you with our arms wide-open. Maybe I'll greet my first grandchild.

  * Sure I'll return. Alternatively you can come to Citadel.

  * We'll see what can we do about it Shep – interfered Solana and checked time – you should go to bed, tomorrow morning you've got your shuttle.

  * Fact it's late – she agreed – it's high time for me. Goodnight.

  * I'll see you upstairs – rose Garrus.




 

Most time of the returning journey Shepard spent pondering. She recollected whole stay on Palaven, tender moments with Garrus or time spent with his family. Would she be able to make so warm family in which everyone has time for another, in which everyone loves and respects another? She was afraid of future. Who or what could their child be? She mentioned Garrus that adoption would be a better option especially that orphanages on Gaia were bursting at the seams. Bur he really cared about it, he wanted to give his genes further. Well if it's possible nothing's standing on their way. 'Damn' thought Shepard I must be really in love.

 

Helen waited for her in a docking bay. She was waving enthusiastically from afar and hugged Shepard in greeting.

 

  * What a marvellous suntan miss admiral – she watched her carefully.

  * Believe me Helen, I exposed my skin to the sun without my overall for only five minutes. My sunburns... Well you see them... – she showed her bandaged arm.

  * Palaven sun... How is there?

  * Beautiful, Helen. Their buildings are monumental and flora is completely exotic. Edges of Cipritine are laid on warm sea. It's just wonderful.

  * Wow – she said – I spent my whole life in the north of Scotland. You know never ending rain, cold, nothing really interesting – she shrugged her shoulders.

  * You miss it, don't you? – asked Shepard.

  * It's not so bad admiral. There's no point in missing something what will never come back. However it's good to have some good memories, that's all.

  * Please tell me Helen, any news about the relay?

  * Hm... – she pondered – exactly you can speak with Javik. They returned from a reconnaissance but didn't discover nothing new or they keep silent about it.

  * I'll talk to him. And did anyone besides the quarians change his mind?

  * Not officially. From unofficial sources we know that salarians started to break. Their councilor has a real influence on his race. Salarian spectre is doing a lot of work too.

  * Not good – muttered Shepard – as long as I'm alive and Garrus is a Prymarch they wouldn't have our support.

  * There's one more thing, during your absence happened some worrying or I could even say frightening things. It is said that few volus were found dead. Nobody heard anything, nobody knows anything. No witnesses, no suspects.

  * Damn it doesn't look good. I don't want to accuse anybody, it's too serious. If it has something in common with that relay I don't really want to know who's behind it...

  * That's obvious that we can't rashly accuse anybody. There's one more ghastly riddle. Few turians died too.

  * What? – astonished Shepard – but she...

  * Exactly. If we accused someone but of course we are not doing this, anyway everyone knows that person who is totally beyond our suspicions has some weaknesses for turians and it'd be completely nonsensical to cover volus' murder with death of some turians.

  * Damn, nothings brings logical whole here. Volus, turians. Either she goes the whole hog or we've got outsiders.

  * I don't know admiral, I don't want to judge. I only search and pass on messages.




 

Shepard returned to her apartment. She threw her bag away and laid comfortably on the sofa. She thought about it what said Helen. It's time to take matters into own hands. Again. If Fira is behind that mysterious course of events... But what is one asari comparing to herds of Reapers? Nothing. But if she fails... Shepard in a reflex action looked at the drawer where she kept her gun. Something was wrong. Each drawer was ajar in a different extent. Her holo-photos were overturned. 'It's too much' she thought in anger. She checked her pistol. There weren't cartridges in it. 'That's ridiculous' she snorted 'Only an idiot could think that taking cartridges away would make me defenseless'. She found an extra package, reloaded the gun and decided to always bear arms. Shepard couldn't find a place through the rest of the day. She was walking around her apartment checking if some of her personal belongings hadn't disappeared. Apart from her dug through clothes everything was on its place. She never kept important files on data pads, everything was in her omni-tool. In the evening she called Garrus.

 

  * Hey sweetie – he said with his warm voice – everything's fine?

  * No. Nothing's fine. Matters on Citadel are screwing up – she answered with anger – someone searched my apartment.

  * Are you sure Shepard? – he asked clearly surprised – who on the Citadel may have something against you? You are a... hero Shepard.

  * Hero or not somebody is going to put me in a deep shit.

  * I can not believe it, really, it had to be some misunderstanding. Maybe they were looking for someone else and simply mistook apartments.

  * Oh yes?! – Shepard was angry with him that he wasn't on her side – maybe they were looking for the murderer of those wretched turians and volus?

  * Oh yeah I heard some rumours about it. In fact it's really strange but you know how's on Citadel. They still have some shady deals of which results usually only they're glad.

  * Okay, you may be right but what about those turians' dead?

  * I know little about that Shepard. They weren't from my district and they even haven't lived on Palaven for many years.

  * Oh, fine – she got angry – let's not talk about it. I'm going on Gaia soon, I only hope that till my return they wouldn't kill off each other.

  * Good luck, love – he muttered – oh and one more thing. Come to doctor Solus in your free time. You can talk about... planning family. Unless you changed your mind.

  * Oh Garrus you should know it that when I say 'A' I'd say 'B' too. There's no return.

  * I'm really glad to hear it. I'll try to drop in on you as soon as possible. I'm still thinking of our little vacation on Palaven.

  * I will never forget it too. Goodnight Garrus.

  * Goodnight Shepard.




 

Along with the end of Shepard's leave calm sleep went away and nightmares came back. She still had in her dreams visions of Reapers and other horrors which they had created. But now joined them Fira. She was standing on a pile of bodies laughing madly and finally whacking powerful biotic ball in Shepard's direction. Shepard woke up running with sweat. In a reflex action she was looking for Garrus by her side but she found only emptiness. She rolled over on her back breathing heavily. 'It's time to end it but how?' said voice in her head. Not wanting to waste time thinking about bad things she stood up, took a quick shower, got dressed and went to the clinic. It was emptied again only few people were there. Shepard found a small room in the end of the corridor. 'It's an insanity' she thought entering. The salarian didn't seem surprised seeing Shepard. She told her to have a seat in front of her desk.

 

  * How's your back admiral? – she asked with real care – I hope there weren't any troubles?

  * No, everything's great. Since I left the hospital no pain.

  * I'm glad. I'd also like to correct my last words about my uncle. Fact he is considered to be nut in our society but deep inside I admire him. No one else would dare such a noble deed.




 

Shepard smiled. She appreciated these words with a nod. Mordin meant so much to her. She spent few months on Normandy with him preparing attack on Collector's base. His specific sense of humor, intelligence and unique abilities were priceless for their mission.

 

  * But doctor I came here today because of other reason – said Shepard fixing her sight into the floor.

  * I see, I see Mr Vakarian as always explained me everything. Very strong need of having descendant.

  * Yes... Garrus insisted and I agreed. But I don't know if my agreement has any meaning there because I'm not sure if such breeding is possible and... legal.

  * I want to ensure you that it is. It's the newest technique, complete innovation, so far few births but all succeeded. We called it asari technique.

  * Asari technique? – asked Shepard raising her eyebrows – that means...

  * That means that while breeding we don't interfere in genetic diversity of species. It is possible to inherit from other parent features of minor importance like eye colour, shade of skin and of course character features nothing more.

  * That means that if I give birth to a human he may have some Garrus' features?

  * Yes and no. You can give birth to a human with Mr Vakarian's features but not necessarily. You can also give birth to a turian who will inherit your appearance features.

  * It all sounds so abstract, how is it possible? – asked Shepard still couldn't believe in what she had heard.

  * Science, science and one more time science. I'd implant you a chip in your thigh. It would react for presence of another genetic material randomly cleaning male or female gamete allowing to connect them two, creating... new life.

  * Wow, it still seems unbelievable to me. Please tell me more.

  * I think I told you most important things. What is vital too is fact that if you give birth to a human it'll be female and if to a turian it'll be male.

  * Garrus would be happy hearing it.

  * But please remember that humans' DNA totally distinguishes from turians' one. If you expect a daughter, pregnancy will proceed normally, nine Earth months, no problems. Although if it's turian may appear some complications.

  * What complications? – Shepard still felt like in a surreal dream.

  * Your placenta won't be able to feed the foetus as it's in normal pregnancy. In the very beginning even the smallest amount of levo DNA may lead to child's dead. Strict control from beginning to the parturition will be required. The chip needs to be filled regularly in order to deliver necessary components and of course antiallergic preparations which allow the foetus adapt to levo environment. And then if everything's correct after six Earth months you'll give birth to a turian. So in one word what is your decision?

  * I think it's too much information for a simple solider like me – said Shepard shyly.

  * Miss admiral, many things can be said about you but not that you're stupid.

  * Oh... maybe yes – admitted Shepard smiling – when can we implant that chip?

  * Instantly. There's no time to waste, tries to inter-species baby need some time. Our record-holders did it after two months. You can be pregnant after a month or after a year. There nothing is sure. It's more advanced genetics.




Shepard left the clinic little confused, with an extra piece of cybernetics in her leg. But deep inside she was happy, little afraid but happy. Thought that she will be able to give Garrus a coveted child allowed her to forget for a while about Fira and her dirty games. She as a mother, she pregnant. She'd never imagined herself in a role of a mother. She'd thought that she would die childless and forgotten. But suddenly on her ship appears some turian without who she can not no longer imagine her life. 'Damn I'm becoming so sentimental' she thought.

 

  * Shepard – she heard vibrating, low voice behind her back – hi...

  * Javik... – she didn't end. At the same time she felt gentle touch on her back. Memories of last moments crossed her mind's eye – you shouldn't do this, I asked you many times!

  * You are so secretive, you've got so many things on your head but don't let receive any help.

  * I want to ensure you it's nothing.

  * I see changes in your life. Child changes everything, be prepared for that...

  * What can you know about it? – she asked folding her arms.

  * I had two sons but you should know well what happened to them – he said calmly – 50 thousands years passed but for me it's still fresh...

  * I'm not surprised. In truth for you passed only four years.

  * I wish you did it. Over your child's upbringing may have influence the last prothean in the Galaxy – he tried to smile.

  * This will be undoubtedly valuable lesson in his life – she replied with a smile – but right now we more serious problems, don't we?

  * You mean councilor Fira and that troublesome relay?

  * Yeah – she muttered – it's bothering me.

  * I saw it as you surely know. In fact it's smaller than others. It seems to be older than those ordinary. It's decorated and has some inscriptions. We are not able to read them. Fira deludes herself that I as a prothean know more than others. Perhaps protheans may knew something more about that relay but not I. All records disappeared. But tell me Shepard even if protheans knew about that relay why didn't they activate it?

  * Maybe they knew, maybe activated but maybe they closed it on purpose – Shepard tried to find other solutions – we don't know it.

  * It would unreasonable opening it without previous preparations.

  * For me unreasonable is the way in which she seeks to it. She thinks that if she buys off all the races she will do that?! Over my dead body! – threatened Shepard.

  * If anything happens I will always be on your side. Tell me Shepard what's with Normandy?

  * It's on Gaia. I gave it in order to transport my people from Earth. Then every ship was worth weight in gold. It needed to have some little renovation but now it's waiting for me we will see each other soon.

  * I'm not a doomster, hm... usually but I'd advise to keep it at the ready. Who knows what can happen...

  * I was such a fool thinking that after Reapers there will be peace everywhere – Shepard stroked his hand in a reflex action.

  * We will manage that. Don't worry. Right now think about your family it should raise your spirits.

  * Yeah, you're right. Thank you Javik.

  * At your service admiral. I hope that next time we will meet in nicer circumstances.




 

After that conversation Shepard felt some kind of relief. Of course she knew that not everything can be arranged with a talk although she realised that she still has a team which will follow her no matter what galactic chaos they will have to cope with. Maybe in fact it would be better for her to start to strengthen her relationship with Garrus. But how to do this when she's here on Citadel while he's on Palaven. They had to talk this issue over in detail.

She was in her apartment again. She was sitting on a sofa looking through reports from last Council sessions. Recently Fira organised them at least once a week in order to giving long and boring speeches talking about advantages of the relay. Still only quarians were for. Shepard wrapped herself hermetically in the blanket and reached the dose of vitamins and antiallergic preparations which doctor Solus had prescribed her. 'Cheers Garrus' she thought swallowing the pills.

She must have fallen asleep on the sofa. She woke up aching. On her private terminal she saw blinking icon of incoming message. It was Helen informing her about meeting of the Council. She swore under her voice and straightened like a cat. She could feel her arms and legs again. Her body and its efficiency were overriding for her. Every muscle in her body was perfectly sculptured, of which she was really proud of, because she kept her womanly shapes too.

Shepard didn't feel like having some verbal skirmish with Fira. She decided not to respond to her attacks. After all pregnant woman or even would-be pregnant woman can not get irritated.

The meeting hall was deathly silence. There were less people than on first meeting because now only councilors came to the gatherings. Shepard wondered why she had took that title. Sometimes she lacked assertiveness. However if there was anybody else on her position what opinion would have about the relay?

Fira entered the hall, her face seemed to be very pleased. Either she has already played exceptionally dirty trick or she was going to. Shepard immediately bristled up and clenched her fists. Their looks converged. Fira's sight and face assumed extremely horrid expression. She has had to something to ask her, Shepard was sure.

 

  * I want to welcome you one more time my dear councilors – she began – I hope you took into consideration what I told you lately, you thought about graphs of progress which I showed you, advantages are uncountable, as I've said any goal is terrible for us if we...

  * If we intimidate or murder our opponents? – Shepard was fed up with that shitting and broke her resolution – Fira my dear maybe it would be better if you pass us the report of investigation into mysterious murders on Citadel?

  * Mind your words Shepard – she snorted – it's case of C-Sec and if you really care about it there you should look for information. However I doubt if they can tell you something. And your insinuations are foul. If you charge me... well don't be ashamed, we are all listening. But remember if you do this officially you'd be better risk disgrace. Spectacular fall of great admiral Shepard – she drawled last words squinting her eyes.

  * I will ridicule myself no fewer than you searching my apartment – Shepard straightened on the chair folding her arms – what did you expect to find? What do you think I hide there? Maybe some Reapers serving me?

  * Shepard, Shepard, charges against me again? Maybe you'll star to threaten me either? Pretty please. Just a bit more, your one careless excess and I'll dismiss you indiscipline. You act to the detriment of Galaxy from the beginning.

  * Interesting... – Shepard raised her eyebrows – she didn't want to talk about the war again. She wanted to leave but she was also afraid that Fira can really dismiss her in some way.

  * Fine, if no one wants to add anything clever so let's vote.




 

The councilors froze starring with horror Fira and Shepard. Some of them even noticed faint blue shadow of biotic energy on Fira's hands. However they needed to recover from a shock which was caused by that unexpected conversation. Of course Fira and the quarian were for. But this time happened what had expected Helen, the salarian was for too. 'Great' she thought 'if all goes this way, she will do this'. Shepard did what she had planned since the beginning of gathering, she left in a hurry not looking back. She turned on her omni-tool and called Helen.

 

  * Helen, please make a phone call with admiral Hackett, asap.

  * Sure admiral.




 

The last time Shepard saw Hackett in London, when she was promoted to an admiral. Now she counted on that he'll help her get out of that shit. Hackett was as well as Shepard officially retired but he still advised and supervised the fleet. The war didn't change him, he was always calm and tranquil even towards the biggest threat. That's why Shepard valued him, he was for her a bit like a... father.

She got back home. Even for a moment she thought about preparing some dinner but she wasn't sure if fire protection system works well. On the bottom of the fridge she found leftover cake which she had received from Helen. When she swallowed the last piece she was informed about incoming call.

 

  * Shepard? I thought it was some stupid joke but now I know that you have a new assistant. I hope I didn't cause any problems.

  * Absolutely. It's good to hear you admiral. How is it going?

  * Right now I'm on Eden Prime. Beautiful place to retire. And how are you doing Shepard, you've got any problem?

  * Yes and a question at once. I've got problems with the Council precisely with its head.

  * Yeah... I've heard something. But maybe you exaggerate a bit, don't you? Maybe you should try to listen arguments of the other side?

  * No, admiral, there are no arguments for. I know it may sound a bit strange but I saw more than others. Maybe I didn't understand everything what I heard then but I know that relays come from someone more advanced than Reapers and if opening that relay may bring them to our Galaxy, then I... Then I can not.

  * Hm... I understand your feeling of responsibility. But you shouldn't justify to me but to that asari councilor.

  * And here's the rub, admiral. My arguments don't mean anything. For her I'm nothing, I only stand on way to her brilliant carrier – she added sadly.

  * I'm sorry Shepard but my authority does not reach so far. I am not able to influence on Council decisions. And forgive me my dear, I am old man, I need a rest, I don't want to be involved in some conflicts.

  * Of course admiral. I've got one more question, is Normandy able to use?

  * Yes Shepard, it's at your disposal and it's waiting for you on Gaia. If you think that using it is necessary...

  * Right now I don't think so, but we never know what can happen.

  * I see. Hold on Shepard, be as tough as usual.

  * I'll try admiral. Good bye.




 

Shepard ended the conversation even more confused than she had started it. Well she didn't have official support from the Alliance. Does this fight make sense any longer? Should she give up to one asari when she destroyed whole bunch of Reapers? But then almost all races in Galaxy helped her...

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I am afraid that's the last chapter before some pause caused by academic matters. But for everyone who reads it I promise I'll come back because that story and generally stories based on ME have already become part of my life.   
> I don't like that chapter so much and if you don't like it too, please don't be cruel to me :-)

  * Please be careful there, right admiral? – Helen seemed to be visibly upset parting with Shepard.

  * I am always careful or hm... I at least tend to be – said Shepard – are you sure Helen that you don't want to fly with me?

  * Oh I told you that it will be better if I stay here, control the situation and keep you informed.

  * That's your choice Helen. I don't know how long will I stay on Gaia. To be honest I don't want to return here – she peered bleakly into the depths of Citadel.




 

Atmosphere of that place was getting more and more unpleasant. People who had used to be friendly minded, now they looked at her with open enmity. That's why she had been really happy when she had bought her ticket to Gaia.

 

*

 

_Mum,_

_I'm coming on Gaia. I want to avoid publicity if it's possible so I'd like you to do me a small favour. Confuse a little that cheerful crowd waiting for me. I hope you'll collect me from dock 16. I'll inform you about the certain arrival time soon._

 

That message Shepard sent to her mother just before take-off. She canceled its text a few times. Each time she had an impression that it is inappropriate. Once it was too formal, next was too much taking liberties with her, what Shepard had used to avoid in contacts with her mother because all her life she has been telling herself, Hannah Shepard was an evil woman.

She had given birth to her daughter at the beginning of soldier training in Alliance what she had almost paid her military career. New born Joanne because of restrictive rules in Alliance had had to be send back to Earth where she had been brought up by her grandmothers. They had been taking care of her alternatively until she was 5 years old. Then she had returned to her parents beginning their full military service. Shepard had felt as a rejected child. She had used to see her mother and father only in late evenings. On the board of ship on which they had lived there had been organised something like kindergarten. Little Shepard hadn't like other children, hadn't played with them. She had been very lonesome. She had been growing up feeling rejected by environment. Lack of parental love had left a deep mark. It is possible that is what subconsciously had pushed her into arms of unsuitable men who hadn't been able to give her love about which she has been dreaming as a child. Selfless and pure. Nobody could give it to her since she met Garrus Vakarian...

 

  * Good morning child – Hannah Shepard hugged her daughter in greeting.

  * Hi mum – she answered dropped of mother's embrace.

  * If you want to escape from here let's go that way – she pointed side emergency exit.




 

They were walking down the hall in complete silence. Shepard glanced at her mother from time to time. Since she saw her the last time she put on a few kilos and she started to tie her black hair in a bun. They left the docking bays. Since the beginning Gaia hit Shepard like a thunderbolt. Airport was situated in heart of tropical jungle. Going past she could notice memorial plaque: 'As a token of first landing of Normandy on planet Gaia. Grateful new settlers.'. 'So that was here, here crashed my darling Normandy' thought Shepard. Finally they reached the skycar park. They soared above the bewildering jungle. Here and there extensive green spaces where interrupted by urban landscape.

 

  * Such a wonderful place – sighed Shepard having spotted ocean on the horizon.

  * Oh yes – nodded Hannah in agreement – your crew was lucky landing here.

  * It was rather tough landing – added Shepard more and more regretting leaving her sunglasses on Citadel.




 

Hannah parked in front of one of terraced houses. The housing estate was really peaceful. Houses were perfect proportion of combination glass and metal. Each of them consisted of ground floor, first floor, driveway and probably small garden behind.

 

  * I prepared you room upstairs – said Hannah – it's nothing big but feel like at home.




 

Shepard clutched her lips. Admittedly she was very grateful that she could be her guest but calling place where lived her mother home was too much.

She went upstairs, left her bag in a room in order to as soon as possible find herself in the shower. She splashed herself with cool water from head to toe, feeling urgent washing off difficulties of long journey. Then she put on loose, flimsy trousers and tight top. She had a strange feeling that because of those pills which had been prescribed by doctor Solus her breasts enlarged.

After that she went downstairs, her mother busied herself with preparing dinner. She served Caesar salad and delicious refreshing lemonade. They were eating their meal in silence, completely not knowing how to behave in their presence. Exchanging short messages was much easier. Finally Hannah shyly started a conversation.

 

  * Please tell about your life on Citadel, you like it?

  * Bearable place – said Shepard pouring lemonade – I've got apartment there, it belonged to Anderson. He gave it to me, like he knew what may happen...

  * At that time we all thought about current day like about the last, Anderson was a good man – she added.




 

Embarrassing silence descended again. However Hannah stubbornly pursued to continue the conversation:

 

  * And privately Jo – Shepard hated when her mother called her like that but she didn't want to tense the atmosphere – you have someone?

  * Yes, I do – she answered and mother's eyes shone – and I'll tell you even more, we are engaged and trying for a baby.

  * Oh darling – Hannah couldn't stand and came to her daughter to hug her – I'm so happy that you've finally shaped your life. Tell me what's his name, is he from Alliance too? Why didn't you come together?

  * Unfortunately Garrus couldn't come with me. He is on Palaven.

  * Garrus? – whispered Hannah – on Palaven? It can't be...

  * Oh yes, it can be and even is – Shepard knew since the beginning that her mother wouldn't like such an option of her relationship – Garrus Vakarian, turian Prymarch is my fiance.

  * It casts the matter in a less favourable light – Hannah's zest suddenly weakened – well but it's your choice child, I only hope that you will be happy.

  * We already are – Shepard cut short.




 

Rest of the afternoon became quite troublesome because of intimate question asked by her mother. She excused herself saying that her muscles need a little movement and left in order to run in the neighbourhood.

She returned after over than two hours good and proper tired. She entered mother's house and saw her sitting at the kitchen table with some young boy. Both of them having seen her stood up in a reflex action.

 

  * Jo, darling – she began with trembling voice – this is Aaron Shepard, your brother.




 

Shepard could swear that hearing these words her jaw dropped on the floor. She wasn't able to get out of shock.

 

  * Aaron Shepard – the boy reached out his hand. Just right now she noticed that striking resemblance first of all to her and to her father after who he inherited almost everything apart that terrible red hair.

  * I... Er... I am Shepard – she answered still not believing in that what was happening – mum can I get any explanations?

  * Of course child but sit down please – she added seeing her emotional face – Aaron is your father's son from his second marriage.

  * Hm... Great – she hit the table with her hands – but why am I learning about that right now?Why is he with you and where's father?

  * Father's dead – interfered Aaron – my mother too. Both died in the Reaper War.

  * I understand it – said Shepard completely not taking to heart information about father's death – it's still not enough for me.

  * When your father and his wife died, at once I thought about Aaron. It was short time since Hackett asked me to join the Crucible project. I got Aaron out of the orphanage and took him with me. Few days later I only saw rubble left of the orphanage on photos.




 

Shepard folded her arms and let air out loudly. It was too much information for one day. Her father found other woman, made her kid and then died and her holy mother is bringing up the boy like her own child. 'Nonsense, nonsense', she repeated to herself, why was she missed in that mysterious circle?

 

  * And there wasn't any possibility to tell me that earlier?! – scandalised Shepard.

  * But did you care about it?! – exploded Hannah – you were busy with war, then with your health state. Fact that I existed somewhere didn't interest you at all!

  * That's not what I'm talking about! – screamed Shepard – I mean the beginnings, that father married again, that he has a child. Is it some big family secret?

 




Hannah got winded. Shepard knew well why. Precisely because of that she smash up her marriage, blaming whole universe about that. Her father's second relationship had to be like a blow to Hannah's ego.

 

  * I'm going upstairs – said suddenly Shepard – I have to, I have to... think it over.




 

She did what she had said. She went to 'her' room and laid on bed but instead of thinking, she called Garrus first.

 

  * Hey darling – her face became radiant seeing him – I really miss you.

  * And so do I sweetie – he nodded – are you on Gaia yet?

  * Yeah – she answered – and since the beginning that stay... It's too much for me. But I wanted to rest!

  * Mother? – he asked, she only nodded – don't worry Shepard...

  * Garrus, I've just found out about that I have a brother – she confessed.

  * You? Brother? – he amazed – you've got to be kidding me.

  * You should have known this, that I'm not kidding when we talk about serious things – she answered little offended – but that's how it looks, he's my half-brother, my father's, who by the way is dead, son. I know, maybe I became bad apple in that family but why am I so bad? They excluded me from all important family affairs!

  * Spirits Shepard I don't know what can I tell you. I see that you may be little disappointed but try to understand their feelings and hear what they want to tell you.

  * You hold with them too? – she got irritated – no, I'm sorry, you're right, that what are or were my parents like shouldn't have effect on a current situation. Maybe I'll give chance to my little brother.

  * Keep it up darling, think positive – he blinked but suddenly all good mood went away, he was visibly worried.

  * What's going on Garrus? – she asked watching him carefully.

  * I'm sorry Shepard, I didn't mean to tire you with my job matters but if they may have influence on our relationship, there is no point in hiding it.

  * Please tell me, what happened? – she asked him very nervous.

  * My father scented conspiracy against me in lowest levels of hierarchy. We don't know who and how but we know what they wanted to achieve. They wanted my head – when Shepard heard these words she covered her mouth with her hand – I know it sounds horrible but assassination was thwarted thanks to my old man and his vigilance. But it's not over honey, Citadel Council started its mean tricks – 'I told you!', shouted Shepard – yeah, yeah you were right Fira does everything in her favour. I was accused, unofficially for now, oh that's what they wrote... 'Dangerous signs of disturbing peace in the Galaxy.'. You may find it funny but it's a really serious at once.

  * What are you going to do now?

  * I've already done, I resigned.

  * What?!

  * I couldn't do anything else, this is law of hierarchy when you don't do things properly, you must give up your position to someone better.

  * But that's not true, you didn't do anything wrong!

  * You see it that way – he snarled at her lack of understanding – turians' hierarchy acts in a different way. If we have accused person then we don't wonder if someone's guilty or not, we just have to find good person for that position.

  * It's so hard to understand for me – she answered – what now?

  * I don't want to think about it. I've already kept my family safe. Although I think that rescuing my own ass wouldn't be so bad idea.

  * Come to me – she said suddenly – you don't have to obey turian law on Gaia.

  * If it was so simple sweetie I would be with you long ago. But I promise – he made a reservation – that if I catch any ship, I'll personally direct it on Gaia. I have to go, I love you.

  * Bye Garrus.




 

She fell on pillows angry. How could she force her problems on him when his safety and even life was in danger? She breathed deeply trying to calm her heart down.

Next days were tough. Shepard was thinking about Garrus all the time. Since their last conversation she hasn't received any message from him. She talked to her brother for the first time. Aaron was ambitious and intelligent boy. He dreamed about career in Alliance but so far her mother talked him out of that idea effectively. She said that Alliance is not a proper place for 16-year-old boy. Shepard's argument that she began her training in the age of 14 didn't help. One of those quarrels interrupted sound of Shepard's omni-tool.

 

_From: Garrus Vakarian,_

_Gaia, dock 25. Love, G._

 

  * Oh fuck – Shepard let it slip – mum, can I borrow your car? It's urgent!

  * Sure, take it – she answered surprised with this sudden burst of her daughter – what's going on? – she shouted but Shepard has already left.




 

She was flying above the city with a trembling heart. He did it. And in a few minutes they'll be in their arms...

 

  * Shepard! – he shouted when saw her.

  * Garrus – she turned immediately – there you are! – she said and threw herself in his arms.




 

They were standing embraced some time. When she dragged herself away from him she stroked him under his fringe. At once he purred with pleasure and kissed her not taking care about nosy glances of the crowd.

 

  * Welcome back Vakarian – she said when they finished.

  * Wait, how was it going? – he pretended to wonder – no Shepard without Vakarian?

  * And no Vakarian without Shepard – she blinked – I'm so happy you're safe.

  * And was adventurous flight – he sighed – but let's celebrate its happy ending.




 

They left the airport holding their hands. Garrus' attention was also attracted by memorial plaque, he couldn't believe that he was standing in a place where he crashed almost four years ago.

 

  * This time I'm driving – she smiled a little cynically.

  * Show me what you can – Garrus grinned and fastened his seatbelt.

 




Their were flying back to her mother's house. Garrus as well as Shepard was admiring landscapes. Shepard's face was tense, in that whole spree she completely forgot that finally she has to bring Garrus to Hannah's house and they'll probably spend few days together.

 

  * Nice buildings – noticed Garrus – really wonderful place, it's warm not like your other planets.




 

Shepard faked smile. She didn't have any idea how may react her mother when she sees flesh and blood turian at her door. Shepard opened door hesitantly. Neither Hannah nor Aaron were in the kitchen.

 

  * Mum! – she called and after a minute heard steps on stairs. Hannah's face was unable to describe.

  * Good morning – she stuttered – this must be...

  * Yes mum, this is my fiance Garrus Vakarian who because of politics reasons had to leave Palaven and I hope that you'll let him stay here for few days. We won't cause any problems and even maybe we'll find some other place to stay – she declared firmly.

  * Okay... – said Hannah but it obviously didn't suited her but she absolved having seen how Shepard was getting on well with Aaron.




 

Garrus' presence changed a bit atmosphere in the Hannah Shepard's house. She became more withdrawn and silent, suspiciously looking at her future son-in-law. Aaron in turn was fascinated with newcomer, he questioned him about turian military, Palaven and First Contact War.

In the evening Aaron wanted to paid back for Garrus' stories and they went together to rifle range. In that time Shepard was sitting in her room and skimming over news from Citadel. Not a single word about Garrus' resign. Shepard didn't know if it's good or bad but if Fira hides it she must have a reason. If she gets turians' support then on her way there will stand only humans...

 

  * Jo, can I? – her mother opened the door a little.

  * I, I, of course come in – she stood up still thinking about her problems.

  * I didn't want to disturb but you seem to be sad darling. I know you a little. I know that it sounds terrible, mother shouldn't tell her child that she knows it just a little. You appeared in my and father's life completely unexpectedly. I was young and not mature enough to have a baby. Damn, I know there is no point in explaining it one more time because you will never ever forgive me your childhood...




 

True teardrops rolled on Hannah's cheeks. It was visible that it was close to her heart. Shepard swallowed. She was resistant to the topic of her lonely childhood. She hugged her mother shyly, Hannah fell apart.

 

  * Mum I understand that there were tough times for both of you and you didn't have a choice but nothing will change it. I am... Quite big girl. And I'm trying to start my own family – she smiled – and I want you to accept this fact.

  * Do you really love that turian? – she wiped tears of her face changing the subject.

  * Yes, I really do love Garrus. Maybe for you it's hard to understand that representatives of two races are able to feel to each other something more than hate but that's true. Garrus is good man, protective and he'll be wonderful father to our children.

  * Your children? What will be they like?

  * Turian or human there is no other way.

  * Uh-huh. But be careful in that what you do and don't let those at Citadel dominate you. You're tough woman I told you that once, you can cope with every problem.

  * Er... Thanks mum – said Shepard still a little bit shaken with this sudden outburst of Hannah's feelings.

  * Hey Shepard listen... – Garrus entered the room confidently but when he saw his fiance and her mother in embrace he got dumbfounded – oh, I didn't know that I'm disturbing.

  * You are not honey – smiled Shepard.

  * I was just leaving... kids




 

Hannah left the room leaving Garrus froze.

 

  * That woman was your mother right? – he joked – that evil woman?

  * Hm... I don't know what to think about that. At first she is crying on my shoulder how much she regrets my childhood and how immature she was and then she is sceptically talking about my and your future.

  * Did you tell her that we are planning to have a bigger family?

  * Among other things that's what I'm talking about – Shepard folded her arms – she doesn't seem to be glad that one day she will be grandma of little turian babies.




 

Garrus laughed uncontrollably.

 

  * What? – she asked amused with his reaction.

  * Nothing. Just those little turian babies, ha ha that's so funny Shepard.

  * Why? – she raised her eyebrows.

  * Hard to say. On the one hand I really want it but on the other hand I still can not imagine myself as a father.

  * Vakarian... – she straightened on the bed – stop worrying and talking so much. Maybe let's do something pleasant and at once useful...

  * What's on your mi... – he cut in the middle seeing her lifting her top what was sexy as hell. He swallowed – you're provoking me again Shepard – he felt tingling between his legs – we are at your mother's house...

  * And what about that? – she didn't take note of him. She slipped her hand to her pants evidently starting to play with herself.

  * Please Shepard... I can't look at it... indifferently.

  * Oh it's so good – she closed a little her eyes and purred – you can leave if you want.




He looked around the room helplessly. He became entangled in her ignoble game. However when he realised that fact he didn't want to give up. He leaned at the door, took his penis out and started to rub it with his thumb. She caught on what's going on after a while, after first wave of arousal.

 

  * What are you doing honey? – she asked him flicking her black long hair back.

  * The same thing as you Shepard. Something's wrong? – he asked her innocently.

  * That's unfair! – she snorted.

  * You started sweetie – he blinked and showed his teeth.




 

She sat on the bed leaned on the wall with arms folded like a little girl. Garrus hated when she sulk over. He came to her lifted her head, her sight was mad, she was about to shout something when he closed her mouth with a kiss.

Shepard wondered how was it possible that every time their intercourses were so hot and full of passion. Maybe because they often changed places where they made love or it was just ordinary chemistry and mutual attractiveness? Shepard didn't know that but she saw that results every time made her came.

Garrus quickly got used to comfortable life on Gaia. He downloaded on his omni-tool map of the area where they lived and started to look for real estate for sale. Within one week they saw over a dozen luxurious apartments, houses and villas. However when they only saw one of those villas at once they looked at each other with approval. It was even more than luxurious. Two floors, bright spacious interiors, few terraces, indoor and outdoor and small forest around the building. The estate agent asked them few times if they are sure but they only nodded still impressed. When they were signing an agreement agent almost squealed when heard Shepard's surname. It was her first so seriously spent money which she had earned saving the Galaxy. She expected that she would be able to buy few planets but she didn't meditate on expenses like those. Shepard didn't know yet how to allocate her fortune.

The same day Shepard moved out from her mother. She took note of their decision with relief. In turn Aaron was disappointed because he lost companion to conversations and shooting. The boy was assured that he'll always be nice guest in their new home.

Time on Gaia was passing calmly. However Shepard noticed visible changes in Garrus' behaviour. They promised each other to cut loose after war but then they hadn't predicted new circumstances. Garrus has just resigned from the most significant position in turians' hierarchy but he behaved like nothing had happened. That worried Shepard a bit. She realised that he has just run from his planet leaving there family but it wasn't the first time. His behaviour started to irritate her, he became too reckless. She started to avoid him spending time on exercising or reading books.

 

  * Garrus – one day he started to coax her when they were lying in bed in the evening – do you fancy...

  * No – she growled, hermetically covering herself with her blanket – get lost.

  * What's going on honey? Since when you don't want to...

  * Since we do it before breakfast, after breakfast, after jogging, before lunch, after lunch and then 5 times in the afternoon and after supper even 10 times!

  * So far I didn't see reluctance from you.

  * Because I realise that we're are trying for a baby. But our intercourses became so mechanical, fuck you are only going to ejaculate in me and then you seem to be contented as hell.

  * Oh Shepard, I'm really sorry that you're taking it that way. I do care about that child and I don't know other any other way of natural conception, we had to intensified our attempts.

  * No we didn't have to Garrus. I preferred when things were running their own course. It's a pity that you started to treat me like a container for your sperm. Good night – she turned to the other side and turn off the light.




 

Next days didn't bring any improvement in their relationship. Shepard swallowed antiallergic pills like a poison. Garrus stopped to chat her up although because of unloaded sexual tension they had sex more often than she wished.

One day which was sunnier than others Shepard packed her things up to a small bag and not saying a word she went to the beach. That place was covered with soft, pale sand under which were foundering feet. The beach was surrounded by huge, towering rocks which gave pleasant shadow. Shepard took her dress off, she was only wearing bikini bought specially for that occasion. She laid out on the sand and taking advantage of moment of relax she called Helen.

 

  * Good morning miss admiral. What a wonderful view behind you! – she said happily.

  * This is Gaia Helen, new home of humanity – she explained – for me even more beautiful than Palaven.

  * Maybe because it's more human? – smiled Helen – okay, okay I'm trying to start another silly conversation but I'm sure that you want to know what's happening on Citadel – Shepard confirmed – but actually nothing's happening, boredom. Even no Council gathering took place.

  * What? – surprised Shepard – are you sure Helen or you just missed something?

  * I am sure. Damn, no, I didn't want to worry you especially in those holiday circumstances but I think this is ordinary calm before the storm. And those bare-faced accusations of Mr. Vakarian...

  * You know something more? – asked Shepard seriously.

  * Nothing more than you told me. But I think it's better for him to stay at home and not turn up in public.

  * And I think this is a good advice – even though Shepard was infuriated with him, not for all the world she wouldn't like to see him hurt.

  * Please forgive me admiral I've got some paperwork for Alliance to do.

  * Of course Helen, I'm not stopping you. Bye.

  * Goodbye miss admiral.




 

The calm before the storm... 'Hoping we are not expecting a sudden gale' thought Shepard. Going towards the crystal clear water she felt that she got some looks. Few curious faces were starring at her with mouths wide open. Well there was something to look at. The water was nicely warm and really salty. Shepard sank to the head.

She came back home refreshed. She threw he bag away and went straight to the shower. On the stairs leading to the bathroom she ran into Garrus.

 

  * Where have you been? – he asked angrily – you were out for over three hours.

  * I am afraid it's not your business – she raised her eyebrows – you may not notice but I'm an adult person. I can go wherever I want to.

  * If you say so...




 

His arrogant behaviour pissed her off. She entered the shower and let out cold water. She washed off salt of her body carefully and went out hermetically wrapped with the towel. When she left the bathroom she ran into Garrus again.

 

  * Are you spying me, Mr. Possessive? – she asked furiously – even here I can not be alone?

  * You are so pissed that I'll screw you here and now – he snorted – and no, I'm not spying you, I just wanted to tell you that I heard some ping on your data pad you must have received a new message.




 

Shepard only looked in those blue eyes and the towel fell almost without her help. She pitched into the turian and passion blurred with fury in her head. He nailed her against the wall. She resisted him but he knew that it's just a game. He entered her rapidly. All the time they looked each other in eyes. He moved in her fast and with aggression which he wanted to unload by the intercourse. They climaxed almost at the same time. He did it going out of her and because of it part of his sperm landed on her just washed body.

 

  * Excellent as always – he said coldly.

  * And so were you – she said wiping off of her thighs rest of sperm.

  * You shouldn't waste it – he told her off – you can... oh... put it in your...

 




Shepard didn't answer him she just threw a murderous glance at him. She looked into her bag. Indeed she got a message. From New Citadel Council.

 

_Councilor Admiral Shepard,_

_we'd like you to return to Citadel station as soon as possible in order to participate in extraordinary Council gathering which can not take place without 100% frequency. That is why your return is so necessary._

_Yours sincerely,_

_N.C.C._

 

'Great' thought Shepard throwing data pad on bed. But after a moment she felt a little confused. She didn't want to return on Citadel where Fira teased everyone to change his mind about the relay. On the other hand she couldn't stay here where Garrus copulates with her like a horny rabbit. She realised that they were going through crisis caused by nervous trying for a baby, she didn't want to inflame that situation. A moment of respite would be good for both of them. In a reflex action she grabbed her travel bag and started to pack up her stuff. In the meantime she called the main airport on Gaia and booked flight to Citadel. She found out that the shuttle is taking off that evening. She sped up her preparations and after an hour she was ready to go. She went downstairs where Garrus was occupying TV.

 

  * I'm leaving – she said and his face stayed still – I'm returning on Citadel – then his head twitched instantly.

  * Excuse me? What for? – he asked suspiciously.

  * I really don't know, some extraordinary Council gathering.

  * I'm going with you – he declared firmly but she dampened him.

  * You'd better stay here, for safety of your fucking ass. You may not be welcomed on Citadel, I don't need extra problems. I'm fed up with these which I have so far. If I only find out what's going on I'll come back. I don't have to spend my whole life on Citadel.

  * I don't want you to leave – he confessed – I know that something between us is not going well but I don't want to part with you.

  * I can't help it – Shepard didn't want to allow herself for a moment of weakness – now I'm going to my mother, to say goodbye – she put on light leather jacket and went out.




 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm back after 2 months pause. I really missed writing. So many things happened that's why I want to dedicate this chapter and actually every word I write in English in a remembrance of my English teacher who died two months ago. When you'll read it think about people who passed you knowledge or some important values.

Bangs ceased, the shouts became less intense. Shepard was fighting for every breath. She even didn't feel any pain. But with every minute she was getting weaker. Images were blurring in front of her eyes. She could once feel rain washing her face. A raised voice of some man revived her for a moment.

 

  * We've got someone! A woman, Alliance soldier! Wait! I can feel her pulse, let's take her from here, now!




 

Those words were the last thing which got through her, then there was only black, boundless emptiness... Some strange shapes, sounds and images. An abstract space. She didn't know how much time have passed since she got there but after some time she felt that something was trying to pull her out from here by force. She didn't want to stay in that strange space although she didn't want to feel pain anymore.

 

  * No, please leave it, it hurts so much – she groaned – don't hurt me anymore...

  * Miss Commander, miss Shepard, everything's allright, please calm down – some warm but firm voice sounded in her ears few times stronger than it was indeed.




 

She blinked. Images were still not clear. She noticed some hazy human figures over her. She didn't feel her body. The only thing she felt was terrible headache blowing up her head to nauseate.

 

  * Water, give me water, please... – her sight could not sharpen, she didn't even know who was she asking for. Then she felt movement near her head and her lips got moistened.

  * I'm sorry, I can't give you more right now, medical reasons.

  * Medical? – she spoke in a hoarse voice – so I'm in...

  * Yes, you are in hospital. More precisely in King's William army hospital in London.

  * King William? – Shepard didn't know why she took interest on that information – that funny, bald king that ruled in XXI century?

  * She associates historical facts – the doctor nodded – it's better than I thought. You bode well Miss Commander.

  * Commander, commander... – Shepard pondered so much that her headache escalated – am I... Damn, Reapers! Doctor what happened?!

  * Hush... – he touched her shoulder – the war is over. There are no Reapers.

  * Oh... – that information seemed to her unlikely – and what about me? Am I going to get out of this?

  * It's a miracle that you're alive. Your cybernetic imlpants and strong will of live saved you. You were taken out of the rubble a few days since end of the war. From superficial examination there were lots of burns, numerous fractures, extreme emaciation and dehydration...

  * And then? – Shepard wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the truth.

  * Extensive damage of internal organs. Cracked spine and broken spinal cord – the doctor seemed to be little embarrassed.

  * How long am I here? – thoughts in her head were running like mad and she didn't know what question should she raise at first.

  * Soon it will be 6 months – he answered sighing – a few days ago we decided to reinstain you, yesterday we saw on the screen increased brain activity and now... Well you are with us. Now I want you to rest and relax because it's really late. Tomorrow we will try to change your dressings.

  * That's fine but please tell me the only one thing, what happened to my crew, to my ship Normandy?

  * I'm so sorry commander I'm just ordinary civilian and I don't know anything about that. We will try to send you someone from Alliance who will be able to give you any information. But now I'm insisting you to rest.




 

He left her in a darkened room. The only one, faint source of light came from a street lamp. She spotted fragment of damaged tenement what made her recalling more details from that day. What happened then... Yeah... The Harbinger landed nearby the beam. He shot everything what tried to came closer to him. She was running there with Javik and... and... Damn... With Garrus. He got hurt, it probably wasn't serious because they talked before she delivered him to the Normandy. Shepard didn't remember what he had said then. Anyway it didn't have any meaning right now. She was stuck in London, bedridden. Out of her completely bandaged body were sticking countless tubes and cables. She even couldn't move a finger. She wanted to know how it ended but no she has to rest. How you can rest when your head is full of thoughts, hundreds of questions raise and you can not get any answer for them. What is more you can be a cripple to the end of your days. Out of the corner of her eye Shepard spotted some old analogue clock hanging on the wall. It showed 2 a.m. How much time will pass before someone will bother to come to her and say some good word. They left her here alone, confused and even little scared without opportunity to move or drink some water. All the time she closed her eyes hoping for some nap but she couldn't, the adrenaline drove her body. Once her eyelids closed she saw flash of red light and heard cries. In that condition she managed to last out till 6 a.m. when a male nurse quietly entered her room. He checked some graphs and changed a drip. He got frightened when Shepard suddenly asked him for a swallow of water. At first he objected still putting medical reasons forwards as a pretext but the sight of her martyred face after a sleepless night finally convinced him. He tilted the glass and she started to drink fast. Shepard had an impression that it was the most wonderful liquid she has ever drunk. He also promised to give her some sedatives. After few minutes she felt pleasure warmness coming over her body and her eyelids became heavy. She was woken up by a gentle shaking. Over her head gathered again panel of doctors and nurses. Some of them were skilfully taking the bandages off her legs, arms and the chest. She felt extremely ashamed, she was naked while few people were staring at her. The doctors were nodding with approval looking at the healing wounds. They recommended further medi-gel compresses and ordered to bandage her loosely this time in order to she could feel more comfortable.

 

  * Thank you so much – she said a bit maliciously – I thought that everyone here forgot about me.

  * Miss commander, please – said one of the doctors – just a little patience and understanding, we are really happy seeing you feeling better. Wounds are healing, fractures knitted and the internal organs are returning to their efficiency.

  * Wounds, organs... – she snorted – but I think that in all that mess you forgot about something, about the packaging, about me, commander Shepard has psyche too and as it happens it's not in a good condition.

  * Of course we see it – the doctor continued – proper time will come soon...

  * Yeah, yeah, fine, time will come. Rather I'll bitte all these cables connecting me with life than some help will come to me!

  * Allright, allright – the doctor who she talked with after waking up got impatiend – I'll try to keep in touch with some Alliance individuals.

  * Thank you a lot – said Shepard – not so much was needed to make one patient happy but now please forgive me I'm tired as hell – she added looking away.




 

Next days in hospital were passing. She was said that temporarily she got titanium spine whose aim was protecting her healing spinal cord. That information didn't comfort her. Still she couldn't feel her body. Even to the simplest sanitary operations she was rearranged like a rag doll. From one side of the bed there was sadly hanging catheter and she had to eliminate to nappy. Never in her life she has suffered such a humiliation. The only thing she asked for was that nurses taking care of her hygiene wouldn't change too often. She didn't feel comfortable thinking that everyday different person watches her bottom.

That day afternoon was boring like any other. With one exception, the view from the window was more interesting. It was snowing. Huge, white flakes were falling from the sky leaving thick duvet on nearby riuns. Shepard had no idea what month could it be. December, January, or maybe February? The thought of Normandy kept nagging her. How long was she going to wait for the answer? For the first time she started to feel formication in her legs. She regarded it as her small victory. About 4 p.m. came a nurse. She gave her some light soup, probably vegetable, which seemed to her even more wonderful than water which up to now was here only 'meal'. She also told her that she has to prepare her for the meeting with someone from Alliance. Then Shepard's heart started to beat faster, she'll finally know the truth. The nurse gently cleaned her face, combed her hair and pulled over a hoodie with N7 logo. With other man they transported her paralysed body into the wheelchair. When she sat in it they wrapped her with a blanket covering that embarrassing sack with her own urine. They took her away from the room to the darkened, high vaulted corridor. Shepard tried to avoid curious sight of other patients and the staff. She didn't feel comfortable with the fact that numerous glances swept her body in bandages and the head supported only by a collar. They left her in an empty room with a balcony window. Snow was still falling. The London rubble was covered almost completely. The streets were deserted...

 

  * Good morning Shepard – calm voice greeted her. It was admiral Hackett.

  * Good morning – Shepard tried to nod but unsuccessfully.

  * Don't trouble yourself – he damped her down – anyway you look better than I saw you the last time.

  * You were here – Shepard was surprised – when?

  * At once when I learned that you were really you. Your dog tag welded into your armour. Miss commander please tell me how you always come through all of this?

  * I really don't know – she smiled a little – I think I'll be an expert in it, I mean in resurrecting. But this time I don't look so pretty like after therapy in Cerberus.

  * Thanks to that, you say 'therapy' we can talk right now. If not the cybernetics they stuffed you with then you wouldn't survived that fall. But don't give up, you won't even have time to look back when you recover – he ensured her – I talked with your doctor. Just few days and you'll start rehabilitation. We still need you...

  * Need me? What for? – Shepard got angry – I don't know anything about what's happening here. The streets are deserted, doctors play dumbs and I don't even know what happened to my crew!

  * Calm down Shepard. As you remember well in the last stage of attack the Reapers focused on Earth not leaving anything on their way. Atmosphere was damaged, we can't go out without masks.

  * And that means?

  * That all people must be promptly displaced.

  * Displace? Where? And about what number are we talking?

  * The number of survivals is still unknown. The only thing we know that it's still decreasing – he added sadly – we are trying to find some places but our colonies are too small...

  * Damn! – Shepard one more time felt responsibilty for humanity and with all possible strenght hit the arm of the wheelchair in which she was sitting – it will never end am I right?

  * It will end. We are very close to the end.

  * Please tell me what happened to the Normandy? If the worst I want to hear it now. I'm ready for this.

  * The Normandy... Hm... I don't know what to say, it simply disappeared.

  * What does it mean disappeared? It's not a tiny ship, it can not just vanish, they must have given some signals – she set her teeth and tears flowed to her eyes.

  * I'm so sorry Shepard. If we come across some wreckage then... we'll let you know.




 

Shepard woke up with her heart beating fast. Only the memory of losing Normandy with all companions on board still made her cry, even while sleeping.

Next hours of flight were passing. Shepard was nervously tapping nearby seat. Why so suddenly an important gathering of Council was arranged? She still had in her head Helen's words about silence before the storm. The shuttle docked. Her legs were shaking. Where from the hell these nerves? Just after leaving the ship she heard some man's voice behind her.

 

  * Admiral Joanne Shepard?

  * Yes? – she raised her eyebrows. She recognised that man. It was head of C-Sec in person.

  * You're arrested. Please come with me – he showed her way.




 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now let's patiently wait for ME Andromeda while I'll be still writing about Shepard and Garrus :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, the 11th chapter is on. Lots of flashback, I know you've read it many, many times. But I promise that 12th will reward that boring one. :D In the meantime I patiently wait for 1000 views (and maybe some comments? :p).

  * No, no... It's a joke right? Maybe charge me at first?

  * I'm not a prosecutor Shepard, come with me and you'll learn about everything – he caught her arm like an ordinary criminal.

  * Keep your hands off! – she snarled warningly – I can walk by myself and I'm not so stupid to buzz off.

  * These are just procedures but for you I can make an exception.




 

He of course led her to the Fira's office. Nothing has changed since she was there the last time. Cold interior with equally cold owner. Fira was standing there with her back on them, leaning on her desk her arms were crossed. The head C-Sec showed Shepard a chair and stood at the door. Fira started to talk still not turning.

 

  * Supposedly you now why are we meeting in these unpleasant for you circumstances – Shepard heard cold derision in her voice.

  * Supposedly because of the reason which you made up in your mentally ill head.

  * Silence! – she turned rapidly and hit the desk with her fist – do not insult me, do not make your situation worse! You are accused of causing death of David Anderson and trial of destroying the Galaxy while incompetent using device called Crucible.

  * No... I can't believe it. These must be some fucking jokes – snorted Shepard – what gives you the right to accuse me of something so hideous?!

  * The right that you were spectre Shepard and only Citadel council can judge you. I'm so glad that privilege fell exactly to me. You know well that I find injustice and lawlessness repulsive – her lips were contorted in a foul smile. So, are we going to take care of it in one meeting? Are you pleading your guilt?

  * Are you mocking? I'm not pleading to anything and I demand defence. I want someone from Alliance.

  * No. Alliance won't meddle in Council's internal affairs. The only one person who can defend you is... you. If you say that you're not guilty there won't be any problem...

  * And maybe should I count for fair trial or maybe you'll decide about execution at once?

  * Hm... We will see... Trials of war criminals are so unpredictable – she turned to the window again – I am so sorry Shepard – she drawled maliciously – take her to the cell – she turned to the head of C-Sec – this time with due honours.




 

In a trice handcuffs appeared on her wrists. It was end of politeness. Shepard hasn't felt so humiliated since her stay in hospital. She was taken to C-Sec skycar. While walking she felt on her curious glances of Citadel residents. She set her teeth in helplessness, she couldn't do nothing more.

 

Following days brought face-to-face examinations and on formal hearing during which Shepard understood grounds of the prosecution. The main witness for the prosecution was amiable as Shepard had thought then nurse who had taken care of her after spine surgery. She must have overheard the conversation between her and Garrus about events on the Citadel.

 

It was Shepard's third week of stay in prison. She was sitting on a window sill in her cell. She lost on weight enough that she could without any problems squeeze into a narrow crevice by the window. It was her only contact with external world. She watched flying skycars, flickering neons and residents of the Citadel but they were so small that looked like moving ants. In that uncomfortable position her arm went numb. She hissed and massaged her wrist while she was dismounting the sill. It seemed to her that it was broken. Several times she asked for some medical consultation but she hasn't got permission yet. However she had some worrying suspicions concerning her condition...

 

For those three weeks she hasn't seen any friendly face. Still only guards, their superiors and of course Fira. She still wanted to extort from Shepard some absurd testimonies. The hearing were exhausting, the same senseless questions were asked without cessation. Questions concerning why she had killed Anderson and why she had wanted to destroy the Galaxy and if she had collaborated with the Reapers. These were mostly Fira's monologues because Shepard as her line on defence took the silence. She got a spanking for it very often. With every hearing she got new bruises, cuts and abrasions. She was helpless towards that violence. The only thing that kept her in a stable mental condition were her memories...

 

  * Hi Shepard, am I not disturbing? – Garrus shyly appeared at her door.

  * No, absolutely – she lied stuffing her pyjamas back to the wardrobe. Despite tiredness she wanted to chat with her old buddy.

  * I'm so glad you're... alive Shepard – he scratched his a bit awkward.

  * And vice versa Garrus – she smiled – I'll tell you that looked miserable when we were taking you from Omega.

  * Dr. Chakwas made the best of her. – he nodded – Damn it's so strange, I've already learned about your death, took part in your funeral and now you're standing here in front me... alive.




 

Shepard grinned and came closer to him. Poor Garrus, last months on Omega weren't easy and now he got that terrible injury.

 

  * Don't worry we'll catch those bastards – she tapped his shoulder.

  * Thanks chum – he looked in her eyes – for everything. So much has changed since the day when we've got to know each other, hasn't it?

  * Everything's changing – she admitted – but the most important thing is that we are still the same.

  * Well, I think you're right. You know Shepard, I think it's time I was off. I see in your eyes that you're exhausted.

  * Oh come on – she snorted – I spend here all days alone so it's wonderful when someone comes to me of his free will.

  * If you insist – since the beginning of their conversation a smile appeared on his face for the first time – so what are we going to do?




 

In a trice he comfortably spread out on the sofa looking around the cabin with curiosity. Every crew member behaved like this when visited Shepard for the first time.

 

  * Not too comfortable? – she laughed searching something to drink.

  * It's perfect. I see that Cerberus spared no expense. This furniture, equipment, just wow.

  * Maybe he spared no expense on furnishings, but he probably wanted us starving, forgive me Garrus, my drinks cabinet didn't provide any dextro guest. The only thing I can offer you is water.

  * With you Shepard I'll drink even water.




 

Hearing these words Shepard raised her eyebrows and turned towards him. Was it a pickup? Garrus? No, it's impossible. They were good friends, got along the best from all the crew but... what the hell, she and the turian? She gave up that thought very quickly and started to pour the water.

 

  * Ha, Shepard! – Garrus got his hands on a stack of newspapers lying on the table and laughed triumphaly – unbelievable, you really read Fornax?

  * Oh Garrus – Shepard blushed a little and tried to hide the paper – it's not the way you think... Just when I was on Omega, it caught my eye. That's all. But why actually am I justifying?

  * That's alright Shepard – Garrus still tried to muffle his laugh – nobody's stopping you, it's quite funny. I didn't expect that of you...

  * Maybe I just wanted to look at naked turians, what? – Shepard fluttered her eyelashes flirtingly. She wanted to check if Garrus really picked her up. And indeed he got confused even more hearing what she said.

  * You still surprise me, I didn't know aliens attract you...

  * I think you don't know many things about me Garrus... – she blinked – but that's why we are here, to get to know each other better, aren't we?

  * That's true Shepard, that's true... – he purred stretching on the sofa.




 

That evening was really pleasant. Mainly they were talking about Garuss' actions on Omega, Shepard's mission before she had died and about all what they can expect from Collectors. But also just like old times there was just great fun and time for stupid jokes. When Garrus realised how long they were talking he jumped to his feet. However Shepard didn't want him to leave. The events connected with death in vacuum and being restored to life by Cerberus marked deeply in her psyche. It was for her to fall asleep and when she did her sleep was light and restless. She often rose covered with sweat, her heart was beating like mad. Since that time sleep has already inseparably been associated with death.

 

  * Garrus? – she asked bashfully, instinctively grabbing his hand – Could you do something for me?

  * Sure Shepard what's the problem? – he seemed to be little surprised. She has never asked him for anything.

  * I'd like you to stay here... till I fall asleep. Recently I've been having problems with that...

  * Hm, of course. If it makes you feel better then no problem.




 

Shepard didn't know if it was exhaustion after tough day or Garrus' presence but she fell asleep almost immediately. When she woke up the next day she noticed that he held her hand all time. She smiled to herself but at once she felt ashamed. At least strange guy slept next to her.

 

Within next days Shepard was thinking over their friendship and that evening. Maybe she got his signals in a wrong way and he wasn't interested in her at all? Apart from several courageous gestures their relationship was still the same. Having taken care of all interests on Omega they flew to the Citadel. Besides new gun and armour she also bought a few bottles of a turian beer with intention to invite Garrus on some nice evening.

 

  * Hi Shepard – she heard the same day after docking on Citadel – something happened?

  * Don't be funny Vakarian. Must something happen when I'd like to drink some beer with my friend?

  * No, no – he seemed to be relieved – I think new 'Blasto' is on. Do you count in?

  * Sure, I do – she smiled widely and opened the first bottle.




 

That evening was even better than the last one which they had spent together. They not only watched new 'Blasto' but some other vids too. Next to the sofa piled up empty bottles and the silliest actors' dialogues caused loud rounds of laughter. Finally something really spontaneous happened, Shepard kissed directly Garrus' lips. It wasn't obvious who was more astonished with that situation. He looked at her unconsciously and muttered:

 

  * What was that? – fortunately his voice didn't express any kind of negative emotions.

  * A kiss? – she asked rhetorically with the most innocent voice in the whole Galaxy.

  * Uh-huh – he replied still very surprised, thereupon he simply returned to watch the vid.




 

Shepard completely didn't understand that situation. She's just kissed a man's lips without any reaction or feedback. She felt really embarrassed but didn't want to show that so she also returned to watch.

 

The next day when she was brewing extremely as for her strong coffee she heard a someone's cleaning his throat behind her back. She turned and saw Garrus. He looked excited and ill at ease.

 

  * Good morning Shepard – he started hesitantly – I hope you had great time yesterday.

  * Well, yes. Really great. And you?

  * And so did I. But one thing keeps nagging me...

  * Yes? – she folded her arms – if you mean that I kissed you, then I'm sorry. You must have seen that I was little drunk.

  * No... That means... It was very nice. I've just learned that a kiss is form of expressing human's feelings. There are many variants of it. For example archaic hand kiss, cheek kiss for a greeting, or these intimate kisses...

  * Garrus – she interrupted him with a visible relief that she didn't make any faux pas – do you want to tell me that you've never heard about something like a kiss?

  * You've got so many complicated customs, I haven't tumbled in them yet – he shook his head nervously – anyway I'm not angry with you and I hope you're not angry either.

  * Of course I'm not – she took a big sip of a hot coffee – you'd better make ready. Sidonis will not wait for us forever.




 

The same day Garrus was in a totally different mood.

 

  * I know you want to talk about this... but don't. Not yet. – he uttered with an anger.

  * I know it didn't go the way you planned but I think it's for the best. – Shepard tried to calm him down.

  * I'm not so sure. – he muttered.

  * Give it time. – Shepard didn't give up.

  * Yeah. Maybe that'll be enough – he agreed wanted to be left in peace – I want to know I did the right thing. Not just for me but also for my men. They deserved to be avenged. But when Sidonis was in my sights... I just couldn't do it.

  * The lines between good and evil blur when we're looking at people we know.

  * Yeah. There was still good in him... I could see it. – admitted Garrus still weighed down with a distress – It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray... I don't know what to do with gray.

  * You've got to go with your instincts. – she touched his shoulder.

  * My instincts are what got me in to that mess.

  * Don't be too hard for yourself. – she hugged him lightly.

  * Thanks, Shepard. For everything. – he sighed – Let's get going. I need some distance from this place.

  * I'm with. I always will. – Shepard tapped his back and followed him on the way to vehicle.




 

A few days later Shepard was on Ilium. Totally unexpectedly she met there Liara who asked her for a small favour. However they spared a moment for conversation in private.

 

  * Something's bothering you? – Liara raised her sight from above stack of papers spread on her desk – to be honest you look little strange.

  * Everything's fine Liara. – she smiled cheerfully – I mean almost everything but I won't badger with my personal affairs...

  * Shepard, Shepard – Liara put the stack together as straight as possible – your affairs are mine, you should have known this, I suppose we're... friends.




 

Shepard looked at Liara. There were understanding and empathy in her big round eyes. But was it a reason to confide her such rubbish?

 

  * Okay, okay but you asked for it, don't say later that stupid Shepard cries her eyes out because she can't cope with her own life.

  * Oh Shepard – she looked at her seriously – you are underestimating me a little right now...

  * Alright, alright – she gave up – I'm sorry, it's about Garrus.

  * Something's wrong? – Liara's interest suddenly rose.

  * Everything's seems to be good. But I think I'd like to be more than his friend.

  * And? – Liara raised her eyebrows – What's standing in your way?

  * I don't know – Shepard shrug her shoulders – I think that he interprets my signs which I send in a wrong way. For me they seem to be clear and explicit.

  * They may seem explicit to you, for me probably might seem either but turians are different. And you have to treat Garrus... more directly.

  * Directly? – Shepard folded her arms – What should I do in your opinion?

  * Oh Shepard, you are not a child – corners of Liara's mouth twitched a little but she kept a straight face – just tell him.

  * Tell him, what?

  * Damn Shepard, tell him that you want to sleep with him.




 

That was too much for Shepard, she burst out laughing and after a minute she was still bursting her sides with laughter. However Liara continued.

 

  * Now you're laughing but think it over Shepard. Can you, in your present situation, expect something more? You're a soldier, you won't throw your gun away overnight in order to put on warm slippers.

  * You're right Liara but directly? Shiver goes through me when I think about it.

  * The idea is up to you. But remember Shepard, try to avoid metaphors, allusions. Be honest and just be yourself. Maybe one day you'll be able to turn it into something really serious but right now you should enjoy that what you've got in your reach.

  * If I'll manage to do this then I'm buying you big beer – she blinked to her – I can't believe if I can figure it out but it's hard to have a discussion with a person who is over one hundred years old.




 

Hearing these words Liara only shook her head with condescending sympathy.

 

What had Liara said to Shepard was a food for her thoughts. In fact in that all she has little forgotten that Garrus is a turian and sometimes comprehends things in a different way than they seem obvius to Shepard. Despite she used to stay face-to-face with enemy not once, fact of offering a quickie to his team mate deprived her boldness. However one day she resolved to find some time for a casual conversation with Vakarian.

 

  * Hi, have you got a minute? – she asked in greeting.

  * Sure, I'm just killing time anyway – he answered frankly – I wanted to thank you again for your help with Sidonis. Whatever happens with the Collectors or the Reapers or whoever else comes after us, I know you'll get the job done.

  * I couldn't do this without you Garrus – she responded with full consciousness of toadying.

  * Sure you could. Not as stylishly of course. – he added immodestly.

  * It's strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. Your don't prepare for high-risk operations the way turians do.

  * How do turian crews get ready for high-risk missions? – asked Shepard wanting to lead the conversation onto the right line.

  * With violence, usually. Turian ships have more operational discipline than your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions – he explained – our commanders run us tight and they know we need to blow off steam – he added.

  * You mean turian ships have crewman fighting each other before a mission? – Shepard hit upon an idea how to steer a conversation.

  * It's supervised of course. Nobody is going to risk an injury that interferes with the mission. And it's a good way to settle grudges amicably. I remember right before one mission, we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad, very risky – he emphasized – this recon scout and I had been at each other's throats. Nerves mostly She suggested we settle in the ring.

  * I assume you took her down gently? – Shepard felt that their conversation was going into a right direction.

  * Actually, she and I were the top-ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility – he said and Shepard raised her eyebrows gently smiling – It was brutal. After nine rounds the judge called it a draw. We, ah, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach but she had flexibility. More than one way to work off stress, I guess – he faced to Shepard.




 

Shepard shook her head in silence. Was her task so easy?

 

  * It sounds like you're carrying some tension – she said after a moment – Maybe I could help you get rid of it – she added coquettishly.

  * I, ah didn't think you'd feel like sparing, commander – Garrus didn't take that gentle hint again so Shepard had to change the tactic.

  * What if we skipped right to the tiebreaker? – she provocatively leaned on a console sticking out her breasts – We could test your reach... and my flexibility... – she looked at him sexily.




 

Garrus blushed instantly and turned his sight away little embarrassed. He stuttered with excitement.

 

  * Oh! I didn't... Huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars – he calmed down and looked at her again – Well, why the hell not? There's nobody in this Galaxy I respect more than you. And if can figure out a way to make it work, then yeah... Definitely – he answered still astonished.




 

Shepard started to go towards him, but she didn't even touch him. She looked fleetingly passing with the same smile on her face. Going away she still felt on her, his surprised but as well thrilled sight.

 

The moment of crossing Omega 4 relay was coming inevitably. Suicide mission that how was it called. Even though Shepard tried to treat it like any other. So many times she could die, well once she even did it. One day which to some moment seemed to be like any other Shepard decided to refresh in the shower. Combination of hot water and fruity shower gel was perfect for solace of nerves. She wiped her body very precisely and left the bathroom. There, completely unexpectedly Garrus was waiting for her.

 

  * Hey, I brought wine. Best I could afford on vigilante's salary. – he said in greeting, his voice was trembling a little.




 

Shepard smiled and folded her arms. So she did it. She called Garrus for a romantic evening to her quarters. He probably, despite his previous assurances, felt really embarrassed. He caught a music console and with a chaotic movement of his hand turned on the music.

 

  * If you were u Turian I'd be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So... your, uh hair looks good. – he nodded with conviction – And your waist is very supportive. Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture. Crap. I knew I should have watched the vids. Throw me a line, here, Shepard.




 

She calmed him down with a hand fast gesture. At all costs she wanted have that evening went her way.

 

  * Relax Garrus – she tried to placate him with words – You're worrying too much. And talking too much – she added turning off that irritating music.

  * I just... – he whispered worried – I've seen so many things go wrong Shepard. – he sighed – My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis... I want something to go right. Just once... – he lowered his sight.




 

Shepard brought nearer to him. They were literally separated by few centimeters. She felt little stupid about that she has forgotten about his feelings in that situation. She wanted to ensure him comfort and calmness. She reached her hand and stroke hurt part of his face. He was still tense, she really cared that he'd relax even a little. Their foreheads net, breaths became regular, this time he stroked her shoulder. They were standing in silence for a longer time, after all Garrus straightened and said:

 

  * Thank you Shepard and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so sentimental, but it was deep in my spirit, forgive me...

  * No Garrus, I'm sorry, lately I've been little selfish I suppose, but I really care about you.

  * And so do I – he confessed – you could get an impression that I'm little nervous towards you, but believe me, I'm a little shy, especially when it's about women. And then you appear, hem me, no, no I don't blame you. – he added when noticed her sight – it's just that not so long ago I watched humans only in vids.

  * I've got the same with turians – Shepard shrug her shoulders – I grew up among humans then I got my own ship, on which appear asari, krogan and one exceptional turian – Garrus blushed little again – and recently I realised that I want him to be someone more than only my crew member...




 

He brought closer her again. His breath speed up again, he whispered to her ear:

 

  * Do it one more time Shepard. Kiss me, please.




 

Still remembering Mordin's words about dangerous exchange of body fluids, Shepard kissed his opened mouth. The feeling accompanying it was incredible. It was like having your first time again. For a few seconds Garrus stood passive but after a moment he even tried to kiss her. It was so charming when he, with his clumsy mouth tried to catch her lips. However he withdrew very quickly.

 

  * I'm sorry Shepard – he started to blame himself again – it wasn't my best.

  * Garrus... You can learn everything and you should know well that practice makes perfect. Let's sit and drink something.




 

He nodded and after a moment he was pouring wine. Specially for her he brought a levo one, she had prepared a bottle for him. They raised their glasses to that evening. They didn't want anything to remind about coming mission. After drinking few glasses of wine, not the best quality indeed, a blush and satisfaction appeared on her face. Garrus settled and relaxed. He looked out of the corner of his at the bed.

 

  * Hm... Shepard – he purred lazily – it's waiting for us don't you think?




 

She rested her chin with hand at looked at these extremely blue eyes. Maybe something more serious... No, it doesn't make any sense. Liara was right she won't overnight become hausfrau. But, but Garrus started to wake in her feelings about whose existence she had forgotten. These probably were the famous butterflies in stomach, or maybe just wine? He moved really close. She felt his warm breath again. He touched her shoulder and went down to the hand which he grabbed at eye-level and said:

 

  * That's weird, five fingers. Damn, Shepard, how don't you get lost while using them?

  * Don't worry about that Garrus – she laughed – they're with for some time, I got used to...

  * They're so tiny... – he continued – and without any problem they can even handle a Mantis.

  * Oh yeah... – she muttered.




 

A little shame mixed with uncertainty regarding to that what's waiting for them behind the corner mercilessly ordered to extend that moment indefinitely. She knew that if they won't take care of themselves they'll fall asleep on that sofa. She grabbed his head under his fringe and pulled it closer to her face. His pupils widened, but after a moment he closed his eyes waiting for a kiss. They were kissing for a longer time. While kissing Garrus was purring like caressed cat what was sexy as hell. When they finished, he snarled impatiently:

 

  * Help me Shepard. I totally don't know how to behave now.

  * Slowly – she touched his face with both hands – maybe let's free ourselves of these clothes.

  * Yes, you're right – he agreed hastily unzipping his overall. Shepard timely stopped him.

  * Garrus!Wait, not this way!

  * No, so what way?

  * This way, slowly.




 

She grabbed his wide shoulders massaging them. He starred to purr silently again. Unhurriedly she was undoing uncovering places she has never seen before. In some places his skin was so soft, even velvet. However most of it was covered with tough carapace. She freed him from his overall and after a moment he was standing in front of her dressed only in underwear. She couldn't believe that it was really happening.

 

  * Hm... You are not bad Shepard – he said looking at effects of her actions but now it's my turn...




 

In a trice they were on bed again kissing. Garrus pressed her with his body and she felt something really hard on her pubis. He lowered her overall to belly level. Then he looked at her breasts still covered with her bra.

 

  * So here they are. Half of the Galaxy talks about them. Mysterious erogenous zone of asari and female humans. How should I treat them?

  * Follow your instinct Garrus. If something is wrong I'll let know first, I promise.

  * Okay... So let's take this invention off of you – he said yanking the straps.

  * No, wait Garrus – she stood up unfastening her bra – I think we'll practice it... soon – when he wanted to say something she closed his mouth with a kiss again.




 

Shepard threw the bra away and before Garrus' eyes appeared two pert breasts which how he right;y noticed later perfectly fitted his hands. He played with them like a child plays with its favourite toy, he massaged them tenderly and subtly stimulated nipples. It was visible in his eyes that he wants something more...

 

  * Shepard, let's continue, I don't know how much these caresses you expect, maybe you want something different, I don't know, I don't know...

  * I suppose I told you to stay quiet? – she interrupted him.

  * Yeah, yeah I know, I just, oh – he take a loud and deep breath – I feel even more unsure than I felt while my first time...




 

Shepard laughed frankly. He really touched her with these words. When he was tangling in his anxiety, she, with one fluent movement took off her pants. That attracted his attention and he felt silent. His sight focus on one, certain point of her body. He was starring so intensively for a moment that Shepard felt ashamed and said:

 

  * So that's what you meant saying horrible interspecies-akwardness thing? – she asked little blushed – your look is so... clinical.

  * Oh damn, I'm so sorry again Shepard. I realise that what I'm doing may seem clinical indeed, and I'm still apologizing and I don't know how many times should I apologize tonight. But what can I do? You look a bit different than average turian woman.

  * Garrus, Garrus – she didn't mean to scold or rebuke him anymore ruining this way intimate atmosphere of the evening – just do what you think you should – she lifted her head in order to match his face – sex is not hard, even if it's interspecies – she added catching his member still imprisoned in boxers. She's just heard a loud swallow.

  * Right Shepard, I'm an idiot and subconsciously I'm going to spoil our moment spent together. Just give me a minute to rehabilitate – he took off his pants and Shepard saw a penis, not differing with a shape to a human one, although it was a little bigger, was gray like most of the Garrus' body and underneath it there were visibly marked blood vessels filled with a dark blue blood. One more important detail was that its whole surface was covered with small hooks.

  * Aren't they sharp? – asked Shepard, surprised with her new discovery.

  * What? Oh no. – he protested when he realised what is she talking about – they're quite flexible and they've got double function: pleasure for a partner and more effective fertilizing. But it's no about that. Check it by yourself.




 

She grabbed his member confidently. Lust flashed in her eyes again. Then she gently fell on the bedclothes. He leaned his arms on both sides of her head. Their hearts started to beat extremely fast. Consumption of their relationship was nearby.

Shepard directed his member towards her entrance. She nodded as a sign of readiness. He entered her as gently as he only could. Both for her and for him that feeling was indescribable. They haven't had sexual partners for such a long time that they have already forgotten how great pleasure they can derive from intercourse. An additional incentives were nuances related with their otherness. Shepard has never had a partner who was so generously gifted, and the hooks, as said Garrus, from the beginning gave fantastic experience. Garrus in turn was delighted with his partner build. She had very wet walls which caused moving in her easier. Considering her tight vagina he tried to move really slowly. On no account he didn't want to hurt her. Nothing could spoil that great evening.

They came to a climax almost at the same time. Shepard was pleasantly surprised that she had an orgasm after such a long pause, but it all was Garrus' merit. He came in a less than a minute after her. That was wonderful culmination of the first night spent together.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time no introductions. Just enjoy best (in my opinion) chapter so far.

  * I don't care about your fucking rules! – mad Shepard shouted at indifferent guards – I'm ill and I don't know if it will be good for you, when you find me here dead!




 

One of them bended to another and whispered something to her ear. That one nodded and went away somewhere. Shepard sat on the bunk and touched her cheeks, they were burning and so was her forehead. Last time she had been ill as a little girl and that was how she felt now. Except that she didn't have by her mom which had laid her to bed giving her medicines and warm drinks. Now nobody was by her side...

Shepard's situation wasn't good. She still hoped that someone will turn it into a joke and will say, hey Shepard you can go out, it was for laugh only, funny huh? On the last hearing first time fell threat of capital punishment. What she felt then was just terrible crush in her stomach. Nobody was eager to come with help, neither Alliance nor Garrus, nobody... She leaned on the wall and after a minute she was sleeping.

 

  * Shepard, wake up – gentle yanking woke her up.




 

Shepard blinked, it was doctor Solus, with Fira standing behind.

 

  * Oh come on Solus – she snorted – I'm a busy person and I'm not going to waste all my day here.

  * I am doing my job – she answered calmly – I am a doctor and I know well my rights and responsibilities.

  * Oh, you see, actually here I set rights and responsibilities – emphasized Fira.

  * Doctor – whispered Shepard desperately trying to draw doctor's attention to her – I think it's just ordinary flu but I feel like about kicking the bucket, please help me.




 

Doctor Solus made a quick scan. She tapped her omni-tool and diagnosed her promptly.

 

  * Temperature incorrect, too high, body dehydrated, few inflammations. At once I'll give proper medicines and you'll feel better soon.




 

Fira sighed heavily. She was the only one person in the room who those news didn't make happy.

 

  * Ok, finished? – she asked impatiently – give her these medicines, I'll bring warm blanket and then everyone will be happy...

  * Doctor – interrupted Shepard – there's one more thing you should know. My therapy, that means mine and Garrus' I think... It ended successfully...

  * What therapy? – Fira squinted her eyes – What's going on Solus?

  * Incredible... – doctor Solus pretended not to notice what had Fira just said – are you sure?

  * No – replied Shepard – but everything points at that. Maybe these symptoms are only result of stress, but I'd like to make sure.

  * No problem. Let's check it.




 

She made another scan on a belly level. Fira couldn't stand it any longer.

 

  * Damn, Solus, or right now you're telling me what's happening here or I'll throw you away from here immediately!

  * Calm down Miss Fira – she raised her hands – Miss admiral is just pregnant.

  * What?! – Fira squinted her eyes and clenched her fists – it's impossible.

  * It is possible – she turned to Shepard – it's the beginning, fourth or fifth week. It's a turian boy, congratulations. But remember what I told, it must by feed by cybernetics and it's high time to do this, your illness is not helping him either. – she turned to Fira again – Shepard needs to get special preparation which I keep in my laboratory. It's absolutely necessary for foetus...

  * Of course – said Fira, what surprised Shepard – if it is so let's go.




 

And they left leaving Shepard with a mess in her head. Damn, so she's really pregnant... Garrus will be a father, he would be so happy if he only knew. Why is he not here? When she needed him so much... Antipyretics took their effect.

 

When she woke up it was dark behind the window. Doctor Solus disappeared without a trace. Damn, if Fira is... No Shepard you can't think this way, she can't be a murderer. But what if she is? Those turians and volus couldn't commit collective suicide. Shepard's pregnancy was significant complication of Fira's plans. Law of the Citadel clearly said that pregnant woman can't be sentenced to death. But if she could get out of here before labour. If only...

 

Next hours of uncertainty were passing. In that whole confusion Shepard, for the first time felt a wave of euphoria. She imagined herself holding her own baby, Garrus as a father. She knew that despite tough experiences related with his father, he will superbly cope with Vakarian junior.

 

  * I love you sonny, you know? – she stroked her belly – you're so tiny, but you already are my biggest hope and love. – saying these words two tears rolled down her face.




 

Doctor Solus didn't appear that day and neither the next one. The worst thoughts were in Shepard's head. Cold passed completely, but she started to be afraid of health and life of her unborn baby. She realised that if it won't receive its food it can end bad.

 

A few days later Shepard rapidly woke up in the night. She instinctively caught her belly. She curled up in pain and groaned. She had an impression that her bowels were pulled out of her. She couldn't have a breath of air. Still weakening, she shouted: 'help!'. After less then a minute appeared two guards.

 

  * Take me to hospital, please – she panted – something bad is happening to me.




 

They looked at first at her and then at each other with terror. Not until she realised why. Her trousers were running with blood. She knew well why. A strong turian lifted her and running brought her to prison hospital.

 

The room was dark and dingy even for Citadel conditions. Shepard was laid on a couch still twisted by the pain. Then unknown salarian entered the room.

 

  * Wait behind the door – he said to the guards – it will be hard for her to run away in this condition.

  * I must see doctor Solus – she drawled with set teeth.

  * I'm afraid that doctor Solus is not available right now – said the salarian preparing some specimens. Please do not get offended admiral but our funds don't allow us for any modern medicines, we have to cope with it with traditional methods. So now be prepared for small prick...




 

Shepard literally howled in pain. Besides pain excruciating her underbelly, she felt huge needle inserted into region of her pelvis. She sunk her nails into a couch, and tears flew to her eyes. Yes, everything waited here for her, it was planned in detail. Fira got rid of doctor Solus waiting for Shepard's miscarriage. She didn't have to wait long for it...

 

  * It's a relaxant – he explained indifferently – I'll give you some painkiller too because I see that I have to remove some unnecessary things out of you...

  * Damn – sobbed Shepard – you son of a bitch called my son an unnecessary thing! You all here went mad totally!

  * Foetus is dead Shepard – he said coolly – I'm just doing my job that's all.

  * Fine, so take everything from me, let this pain end – she clutched her fist expecting for another injection.




 

Fira. She planned everything, it was her fault. She was dangerous. From some unknown reason she chose Shepard as her victim. But Shepard in that moment didn't care why. She thought about all those dirty tricks played on her, then whole world only blurred in front of her eyes. She didn't feel anything anymore. She was woken up few hours later. Anaesthesia stopped acting and she started to feel the pain again though weaker than it used to be. Still on guard were two turians which had brought her here. This time they grabbed her gently and took her back to the cell. She was left her alone without a new life that flickered in her... Completely alone... She was senselessly starring at the wall. Fira triumphed again.

 

*

 

  * Shepard, visit – grating voice of a guard rushed into the cell destroying the silence.

  * I don't have a right for visits – Shepard didn't recognised her own voice. It was bland, distant, with distinct hoarseness. Imprisonment has already broken her down.

Why the hell are you telling me this? Visit is visit, I don't set the norms. Move your ass faster, I don't have time for your ponders

 

 




 

Shepard heavily lifted herself up. When she stood up she staggered a little, she hasn't eaten anything for few days. She straightened stiffen legs. With every heavy step she started to move forward. The guard was still keeping her eye on Shepard while closing the cell.

 

  * Move faster – she snarled and painfully nudged Shepard's shoulder bone. Shepard hissed. Her body was still covered with many haematomas and bruised after hearings. Still pains after cleaning her after miscarriage didn't pass away.




 

Shepard dreamed that this visit will be start of the end of her nightmare. She hoped that Alliance sent some independent lawyer who would, after over two months, get out her of that morass. She was showed in into a room divided in half by a glass wall.

 

  * You've got 15 minutes – said the guard – from now.




 

The door on the other side of the room opened. Garrus walked inside. He seemed to be as confident as usually, but Shepard noticed that he's making pretenses. Deep inside he was really upset, with a corner of his eye he was looking at one-way mirror, behind which for sure swarmed with guards. Finally he looked at Shepard, raised his head, his mandibles twitched. It was typical sign of intense grief. He brought closer to the glass wall. He put his hand against it and whispered:

 

  * Shepard, what they have done to you...

  * Oh, I'll be fine, don't worry – she answered little cynically with her head lowered – how did you get here? Supposedly whole Normandy crew is not welcomed on Citadel.

  * That's true – he said, hid voice was still trembling – just right now I was able to run my old C-Sec contacts, and appeared some unexpected help too so here I am Shepard, my love...




 

For the first time since beginning of their conversation she raised her head. Garrus looked at face with horror. Her, usually cheerful and wary, green eyes seemed to be absent, they had black rings around. On her cheeks there visible bruises and scratches. Her lips were dried and long black hair lost its shine and carelessly fell on her face. Garrus' heart stopped for a while seeing that. He swallowed and said to her:

 

  * Just tell me darling who...

  * I think that answer is obvious, she doesn't need middlemen – Shepard lowered her sight again helplessly clutching her fists – Garrus, I have to tell you something...

  * Calm down Shepard and say what's going on. Please don't cry, we will get you out from here soon – he made a gesture like he wanted to wipe the tear off her cheek through the glass.

  * I don't know how. It still hurts so much... Physically and mentally – tears were dripping more and more profusely – I became pregnant then on Gaya, I found it out here, Doctor Solus told me that's a turian and it needs to be fed every month because my organism can't and... and... Fira... – she sobbed loudly – it was her fault, she took doctor Solus somewhere – her head dropped again – I lost that child Garrus – she whispered.




 

Shepard slid down the wall weeping spasmodically. Garrus' presence caused that emotions of that horrible night came back. She knew how much he wanted that child. He squatted on the other side of the wall so he could be closer to her.

 

  * Shepard... – he whispered, his voice trembled like never before – turians don't cry, we can't, but if I only could, I will whine right now. I have no more words. I promise, I swear that I'll get you out of here as soon as possible. In turn you and our son will be avenged, no matter at what cost. Shepard, please look at me, I love you so much. Be strong, be tough, just a little.

  * Garrus... – she could hardly see him through the tears. His hand was still on the wall, many emotions were on his face – I love you too, but... I'm not strong enough. This fight finished me off, there is no that indestructible Shepard. I'm a wreck and if one day you'll learn about my death in disgrace then...

  * Shepard – said Garrus little sharply – you won't die, don't even say that! Even if I had to carry you out in person!

  * Judgment will be formed tomorrow, Fira will have a didactic gab about that I am danger to Galaxy, a worthless piece of rubbish to disposal. I think there will be over in the evening. Shepard, that criminal will end her pitiful existence. – she went to pieces totally, fell on the floor and started to sob dully.

  * Shepard, sweetie – Garrus pressed his face against the glass, internal pain was tearing him apart, when he looked at the person he loved in that condition and he couldn't do anything about it. – yes tomorrow it will be over, but not the you've imagined – in that moment his omni-tool made short signal – damn, they got me, I have to go. Be strong, I'm begging you, do it for me, for us. As there's no Shepard without Vakarian, there's no Vakarian without Shepard. Don't give in, I love you.




 

Shepard heard his words loud and clear. She even wanted to say something or just nod, as a sign that she trusted his words, but her body failed. Exhausted, she lost consciousness.

 

She was woken up by a resounding slap in the face. She opened her eyes, Fira was standing over her. In her eyes burnt with anger and fury. She yanked her angrily and pressed her to the wall by a biotic power. Shepard felt warmness on her face. She touched it and saw on her hand fresh blood.

 

  * Speak! – she screamed, evidently she lost her self-control – who was here and what did he want?! – she started to walk around the cell very quickly, Shepard fell again on her bunk.

  * Leave me... – Shepard ducked and instinctively hid her face – you know everything best, here you've got your people, monitoring, so what for you need my testimonies?!

  * Fuck, you really don't get it! Your people lured out mine and cameras were turned off! I isolated you, deprived you of everything, and you still set the rules Shepard! I'll destroy you soon. Get ready for death.

  * Yes madam – Shepard unconsciously looked back. She wasn't strong enough for another hearings. Fira's hand hung in the air. She squinted her eyed and drawled.

  * Such a change Shepard, just a little and... Oh I'm sorry I think it's a little too late. Tell me how do you feel as a first spectre who will be soon sentenced to death?

  * Go away – said Shepard and her lips started to tremble again – let me enjoy this last evening, I think I've got right for some last wish, or something like that.

  * Here you are – malicious smile appeared on her face – I won't refuse you that. Oh and remember – she turned to her – if until tomorrow I won't find out who you contacted with, and I'm suspecting that, then with a little luck he will share your lot. I'll mention something about disloyal C-Sec officer, mechanics will click into position. Isn't it charming to have such an endless power, Shepard? Never mind, I'm not disturbing any longer, meditate to yours heart content, that means till tomorrow. Your trial will be public so I hope that your old buddies will drop in – she turned to her the last time – bye Shepard.




 

Shepard swallowed salty tears. Throughout her entire life she hasn't cried as much as now. But perspective of death didn't scary her. Not once she has faced it. She was scared of death in disgrace, unfairly accused and sentenced. She either thought of Garrus. If Fira will find any proof that he was the one who visited her... She loved him and reproached to herself that she can not protect him. On her face she felt again warm stream. This time blood was dripping of her nose because of weakness. She wiped her face off using her white t-shirt, after that she sunk on her bunk. Narrow beam of light, which fell into her cell illuminated her face. She spotted that unknown source of light but it disappeared faster than it had appeared. With her finger she drew on the wall an inscription, her name, date of birth and date of... death. It was getting dark. A few hour sobbing tired her so much that she fell into a light and nervous dream.

 

  * Shepard, wake up! We have to get you out of here fast! – these words confused her completely.




 

Awhile she had an impression that it wasn't really happening. She blinked in disbelief and she saw two scared and at once excited faces. These were Tali and Liara.

 

  * Shepard listen – Liara's voice was trembling too – we have really little time to take you from here. Fira's people will realise soon and we will be over.

  * It doesn't make any sense Liara – protested Shepard – you know well that my end is soon. You can come tomorrow for a trial and...

  * Shepard! – squealed Tali – stop shitting and move. Do it for... Garrus. – Shepard raised her eyebrows. The last time when they had talked about him they hadn't reached an agreement.

  * Tali? – she totally didn't know how to react for such a confession.

  * Yeah, yeah Shepard. I needed some time to think it over and it's alright.

  * Hey girls, it's not a proper time for confiding, you will talk on the Normandy – she raised her voice.

  * On the Normandy? – Shepard's shock increased – where from do you have...

  * Not now Shepard. There will be a time for all explanations. Here you've got a gun, hm it may be useful.




 

Shepard looked at herself. Emaciated body, covered with bruises. She hasn't eaten for few days, it was hard for her even to make a few steps and what to speak about running and shooting. She looked sadly at Liara.

 

  * I won't do this. I'm too weak.




 

Girls looked at each other. They didn't look neither surprised nor delighted.

 

  * Garrus told that's bad, but after return he wasn't very talkative so we didn't expect that it's so bad. – Tali shook her head – so we have to run B plan.




 

Tali turned her omni-tool on. She contacted someone and whispered only: 'We need little more time, run plan B.'.

 

  * Come Shepard – Liara flung Shepard's shoulder over hers – we will go as slow as we can, but regardless I'm insisting on you to take the gun. Plan is plan but something always can go not the way we expected.

  * If we do this – Shepard barely stood on her legs – I'll be grateful to you to the end of my again extended life.

  * We wouldn't be here if not help from outside – Liara corrected Shepard's arm on her shoulder – someone from Fira's environment thought of things sensible and came to conclusion that it's better to be with us than against.




 

Tali unlocked the door and went outside. She reloaded her gun, took a look around and with a nod showed that the coast is clear. Shepard and Liara moved right back her very slowly. Corridors of prison were quiet, no guards or other unwelcome persons. Liara created small biotic field over them, just in case. Shepard's heart was beating like mad. What if Fira realised what were they doing? They came to exit door. Liara pulled Shepard back. Tali squatted at the door and started to break access code. As usually she was doing that efficiently and instantly.

 

  * First plan was to go with the back door what was related with squeezing through narrow tunnels and lots of jumping – Liara explained hastily – but because of your condition we will try to get out using main exit, however Tali is not able to open this door without turning the alarm on, so Shepard you must do your best. When the door will open, we've got a minute to reach our safety point, from which second part of Normandy crew will collect us, understood?

  * Understood Liara, but if I won't be able to do this, then just leave me here and...

  * Shepard! – hissed Tali not stopping her job – we are here to take you. We'd rather die than leave you. You are a hero not a traitor and any asari won't clean the floor using you or whatever you humans say.

  * Tali – Liara bridled – I'm still here.

  * Oh, you know that I'm not talking about you – Tali turned her sight for a second – okay, it seems to be fine, are we opening?

  * Just a second – Liara interrupted her – Shepard, focus to the maximum, the door are opening, we are running to the right, then along the corridor in order to turn right again on its finish and there will be waiting others. We are going to emergency docking bays where Normandy is mooring out of reach of any sensors – she added – the last thing, are you serious hurt? I've got medi-gel.

  * It's alright, I'm only exhausted and ill.

  * I'm so sorry Shepard for the way it looks like – she gently stroked her injured face – we really had little time to fix any good plan.

  * Doesn't matter. Thank you that you're here.

  * Hey girls, time is running out, they're waiting for us. I'm opening, 3..., 2..., 1...




 

The door opened with silent click. Shepard concentrated and thought, 'It's not far away you're going to do this. It's a pass to a freedom.'. She set her teeth and set off at a run right behind Tali and Liara. Not even several seconds passed and they heard scream full of anger.

 

  * Here they are! I want Shepard alive, you can kill others.




 

That was Fira with her people. Liara instinctively grabbed Shepard and hid behind the pillar. She protected her again with the biotic field. Single shots were fired. Tali ducked behind jardiniere. She sent some short message to other team, informing about another plan change.

 

  * Shepard – Liara fired a shot at the direction of enemy – I'll try to keep you out of fire, stay close to me... Damn, he grazed me – she caught her shoulder – We have to move, Tali cover us!

  * No problem – she answered sending her combat drone.




 

Fire was getting more and more intensive. But Shepard was getting weaker. She couldn't catch a breath. They got to the second corridor, where Normandy was supposed to wait for them. Tali stayed somewhere behind. 'Only few meters, you will do this' – Shepard comforted herself.

 

  * Okay, so we got here – Liara ran to the door – there's only one step left.




 

The door opened. There wasn't Normandy in the docking bay. And the second team wasn't there too. Liara made a tentative step forward and then flashed blue light. Shepard could only utter a stifled shout. In a slow motion she saw Liara landing on the opposite wall. In a trice she was caught by two Fira's merchs. She couldn't protect herself, they were too strong.

 

  * That was piece of cake, wasn't it? Do you think that we can count on a rise from the boss? Ha ha... – first of them laughed with a characteristic batarian voice.

  * I hope so, at least we do grunt work for her – added the second one – but we dealt with those Normandy bastards, right? Hey Rick, do it one more time.

  * Second team, second team – he started with high-pitched voice trying to imitate Tali – you have to necessarily go to other docking bay, there we'll meet, here there are too many of them, they may take Shepard back!

  * Ha ha ha ha – cackled Rick's mate – didn't you think of playing in some vid?




 

Shepard was led with batiarians' laugh accompaniment. Damn, so she's returning to starting point. To Fira, to death. With a corner of her eye she spotted some shadow standing on a top of stairs.

 

  * What are you doing here? – asked Batarian Rick.

  * Waiting for you, more precisely for Shepard – in her ears sounded warm, vibrating voice.

  * She's ours, that means Fira's, why do we have to give her back to you? – revolted the other one.

  * It was her... order – answered the voice.




 

Shepard raised her head, yes, it was Rekan. She had an impression that he has changed since they had met the last time. He seemed to be more mature, less stressed, but it didn't change fact, that he was with... her.

 

  * And what benefits we will have?

  * I'll tell Fira that you did well... service.

  * Hey, hey wait, you don't know how we fooled those Normandy idiots, what can you tell her?

  * It wasn't hard to hear you, I've been standing here for a moment.

  * Alright – Rick pushed Shepard under Rekan's feet.

  * Carefully – snorted Rekan – she has to be unhurt – he lifted her from the floor – your job is done, beat it.




 

Batarians went away visibly, displeased turn of events. They although knew that they won't win with Rekan so they gave up. Rekan looked at Shepard, his sight immediately softened. His mandibles twitched like Garrus' when he was worried. He reached his hand to her.

 

  * Stand up Shepard. You need to be taken out of here. You don't look well.

  * What the fuck does it mean? – he looked at him half consciously – maybe should I believe that you're helping me? – she shouted hoarsely.

  * Hush – he helped her stand – it's the last chance. Fira is holding you at gunpoint. Those goddamn batarians confused Normandy's crew. I took the bearings on them, but little too late but not late enough to straightened it out even a little. You only have to hear me.

  * Why should I trust you – she groaned tearing her arm out of his hand – look at me, look at this what she did to me!

  * I'm so sorry Shepard, I tried but it was hard to do anything by myself. I got in contact with Garrus. I'm so sorry about your son. – he lowered his head – any death of innocent turian mustn't be forgiven. Now I helped Normandy to hide and get them to you. How else can I convince you that I'm not guilty?

  * That's... That's enough – Shepard still couldn't believe in that what was happening around her, action was changing like in some muddle vid.

  * Okay, so this is the last straight, so please don't screw it up, because I'm going to reproach it to myself very long time.

  * And what should I do now? Run, jump, roll, or maybe shot?! Look at me – she wiped dripping out of her nose blood off with her sleeve and put it under his nose – I can't do this! I want to lay in warm bed, where nobody is going to expect anything from me!

  * And you will Shepard, I swear, without running, jumping and any other things you've just mentioned. The Normandy crew is waiting in a safety docking bay, to which I referred them. I'm going to bring you there in person.

  * And that's all? – she raised her eyebrows – Without any mysterious plans, laps, hideouts?

  * Without. Right behind me there's a shaft, don't worry, it's quite wide – he added seeing her disgusted face – on my signal, your crew is going to go to take you and we will meet more less halfway. That's all you have to know.

  * Okay, so let's move.

  * Not so fast – they heard cold voice behind their back.

 




Fira was walking slowly. On her face there was horrid smile of triumph. She was gently covering step by step.

 

  * You thought, you can really do this? By the way Rekan, you developed. From my faithful deputy you became my implacable enemy. But remember Fira is always one step forward over others, over you, over self-appointed queen of the Galaxy, Shepard and that gives me power. And now Rekan, please give me back, what belongs to me, unless you want me to use other arguments.

  * Shepard – whispered Rekan covering her with his body – I know I promised you no running, but as you know well, any plans are permanent, so now run through this goddamn shaft, not looking back.

  * Oh no Rekan, it won't be so easy – she hissed like a snake and in her hand shone short stiletto.




 

Shepard could remove bars with one movement, then blue light flashed. None too soon Rekan could duck a blow, what caused that he backed off of Shepard, giving Fira free way to her. Fira moved towards her and tightened her fingers on a stiletto with crazy joy. Shepard managed to run into the shaft. She was running as fast as she only could. Suddenly she felt burning pain in her forearm. Fira hunted her down. However Rekan was right behind them. He grabbed her shoulders and knocked her down.

 

  * Run Shepard, don't stop, don't look back at me, they are waiting for you!




 

She swallowed, and squeezed bleeding arm and rushed forward. Behind her back she heard muffled sounds of fight. She has been running along the dark tunnel for a few minutes, still ahead. Finally with all her weight she hit something, what probably was ending of the shaft. She rushed out of it vehemently. She fell on a tough flooring. Everything went black for her for a while. She was extremely exhausted and hurt.

 

  * Damn. That's Shepard! – a familiar man's voice sounded over her head – hey Lola what happened, we waited for a call of that turian Rekan.

  * James? – muttered Shepard – you wouldn't wait till it. Fira got us by the entrance, I had to buzz off, Rekan stopped her.

  * What happened to him?! – it was Tali's voice.

  * I don't know Tali, I don't know. He ordered me to run away. Take me away from here, I'm begging you, I'm lying in my own blood while you're making a debate. – she got mad.

  * Sure, we are taking you right now – she felt James' strong arms grabbing her.

  * Joker, run the engines, we've got her, we're setting off in five minutes. – she heard Tali again.




 

Colours in front Shepard's eyes mixed in strange proportions. After a while everything darkened. She lost consciousness.

 


	13. Chapter 13

  * Shepard, Shepard, open your eyes – some familiar voice sounded above her head.




 

She tried but her eyelids were weighing down and her head was blown by pain. After few attempts she did it. The image was blurred, who was the person bending over her?

 

  * Where am I? – she muttered trying to stand up.

  * Calm down Shepard, lie, you already are on the Normandy.




 

Shepard blinked one more time. She began to spot dark red hair. Was it...

 

  * Doctor Michel? – asked surprised Shepard.

  * In person – she smiled – you'd better tell me how do you feel?




 

Shepard listened in herself with rapt attention. She reminded about wound on her arm. It was bandaged but it didn't hurt.

 

  * Well, actually, surprisingly good. – she returned a smile.

  * Wonderful. I worked my fingers to the bone for last few hours. I hydrated you, dressed your hurt arm and repaired a little your implants. I was also very worried seeing untypical bleeding out of your reproductive organs, Shepard – she looked at her attentively though her glance was still gentle.

  * Oh – Shepard flamed red and clutch her fists – I and Garrus, we were trying for a baby – she averted her eyes of doctor Michel – and actually we did it, but in the prison I was ill and weak and other circumstances caused that one night... – her voice started to falter again at the very thought of that day – I was woken up by a horrible pain in my underbelly. At the beginning I didn't realise what was happening, but when I saw my pants whole covered with blood... That's how I lost my first baby... Then I got in some salarian butcher's hands, who cleaned me – she tried to made her breath regular in order not to burst into tears – Since that time I bleed regularly.

  * Beast – muttered doctor Michel – I am so sorry Shepard – she sat next to her and embraced – of course I'll examine you in this regard, to be honest I didn't even think of it and remember don't give up. I'm sure that you're going to have wonderful children.

  * I hope so – pondered Shepard – but, please don't tell anything to anyone. I don't want others to bother my personal problems.

  * Of course Shepard. I'm obliged by confidentiality.

  * What about others? Are they okay? I don't remember much...




 

Doctor Michel deflected. Liara was lying on an opposite couch.

 

  * What's wrong with her? – asked terrified Shepard.

  * She'll get out of it, don't worry. She hit the wall with her head, but she's getting well, this is our most serious casualty. Others, besides small scratches, feel great. Come, I'll see you to your cabin. There you'll rest neatly.




 

Shepard slid down the couch, still feeling dizzy, though she felt more up to make these few steps from medical station to her room. Doctor Michel grabbed her under arm. They took a lift to the last floor. Shepard's cabin changed since she had been there last time. Ship models disappeared, fish tank was empty. But still were here favourite leather sofas and tough but comfortable bed. Doctor Michel ordered her to rest and get stronger for further galactic battles. Shepard just smiled and shook her head. Doctors used to see in her only potential problems. Lately she's been facing them too often. She lied on her bed and started to skim over news in extranet. Probably nobody has already heard about spectacular escape of Normandy with extremely dangerous prisoner on board. 'Actually that's really good', she thought. 'One reason less to worry.'.

Her meditations interrupted knocking to the door. She hoped that doctor Michel told the crew not to bother her. Unwillingly she shouted 'come in' putting her data pad away. The door opened vehemently and Solana Vakarian fell into.

 

  * Shep – she hugged her energetically and little too firmly – I thought that I'll never see you again, after all of that... after that horror you went through lately. Damn, when Garrus told me... I totally boiled with anger. How are you holding on darling, huh?

  * Calm down Solana – answered Shepard little stunned with this greeting – I feel better. Shall we sit?

  * Sure, I'm sorry. Lately I am a bundle of nerves.

  * What are you doing on Normandy at all? – asked still surprised Shepard, straightening her aching legs on the coffee table.




 

Solana looked at her as she's been already at least offended. She was very much alike Garrus, though Shepard couldn't imagine him pulling a face of a child, whom someone took away its favourite toy.

 

  * You're kidding right? – she answered after a moment – my only brother's girlfriend is being kept in a clink, for the things she has never done, what's worse they want to sentence her for death and in the meantime I should silently stay at home with my daddy? Oh no my dear! You think that in our family only men know how to handle a gun? I also can and in my opinion I do it even better than my brother but he'll never admit it. In this respect he is awfully confident.

  * Awfully stubborn... – mumbled Shepard, starring at boundless emptiness above her head.

  * Excuse me? – picked up Solana – something's wrong between you two?

  * Well Solana, I don't know. I thought that he'll be the first person I'll see on this ship... But for now...

  * Garrus... – sighed Solana deeply – disappeared somewhere nearby the cannon on the third level. He's just mentioned something about...

  * Calibration? – Shepard interrupted her.

  * Exactly. How did you know that?

  * Recently I've probably been spending much more time with him than you – Shepard still wasn't taking her eyes off the window in the ceiling – I thought I've known him well.

  * Don't take his behaviour to heart, he needs to get over. Loss of a child really moved him.




 

Shepard started at the sound of it and took her eyes off the window. She was fed up with dwelling upon that topic, somebody was still making her thinking of it or she had to explain it by herself. It was her own loss and she wanted to handle it on her own, to say goodbye to her son.

 

  * I don't want to talk about that Solana – Shepard cut short – thank you so much that you worry about me, but you have to understand that I'm not ready for such a conversation. And on no account don't tell anybody about that. – she emphasized.

  * As you wish – Solana shrug her shoulders – but I want you not to cross Garrus out. He's a good boy, but our father smashed his self confidence and that's why sometimes he seems to be little... withdrawn.

  * However I noticed that he's more confident than we may think, he's charismatic he is able to lead the crowds. I suppose that he didn't become Prymarch accidentally.

  * Of course he didn't Shep, you're right – Solana stood up – I'm just worrying about him, he will always be my little, though older brother. For me it was tough time when I could do everything and he had to do thing higher, further, faster.

  * I appreciate that – she said drowsily – thanks for coming – she added seeing Solana getting closer to the door.

  * I only hoped that our next conversation after your visit on Palaven will take place in nicer circumstances. Rest Shep. – she reached the door and turned once more – And we'll get that asari's ass, word of turian honour!




 

Shepard smiled and waved for goodbye. She muted the door in order that nobody coud bang on, she turned on peaceful music. Under the shower, at least she had such an impression she washed off last experiences. As far as yesterday she hadn't expected that she would be free, on Normandy, surrounded by her friends. When she left the bathroom out of the corner of her eye she spotted shining indicator of new message on her terminal. She stood up unwillingly and read the message as it turns out from Helen.

 

_Miss Admiral,_

_I am so happy that you are with us safe and sound. Yes, I am on Normandy too. Your old crew was so kind that shoot me out from the Citadel. Fira's people have already set their heart on me, lately I had to be very mobile. Oh and this ship is weird by the way. The atmosphere among the crew, brilliant. Only your Garrus is so deep in his thoughts, surely he has been worrying so much about you. I have got also latest news from Citadel. That turian, Rekan was found dead. The reason of his death is unknown. No external injuries. Fira still leads the Council so she needed to tell some fibs. Tomorrow will be announced that really dangerous prisoner, that means you, has escaped. But please don't worry about that, with Normandy and its crew we will manage that._

 

_With best wishes. Please recover fast!_

_Helen._

 

Shepard slept long but did not rest enough. She looked at her hands, whole covered with bruises and scratches. Her legs were not in better condition either. She stood up and took another shower. She looked at her face in the mirror. It was weary. Eyes had dark black rings around. Cheekbones were visible, what gave her face completely different look because she used to be stoutish and quite muscular person. Her damaged hair was falling around her face. She tied it in a tight, small bun on a top of her head. She had an impression that over last few months she gained few extra years. 'It is high time to pull myself together.' she thought. She decided to go to meet her crew. She didn't even know who could she meet on deck. She went down to level two. It was so silently and peacefully there. Limping on her right leg she moved through the ship to the pilot's cabin. Joker left the door open. At once she recognised his immortal cap. She grunted silently in order not to scare him with her unexpected presence. He started and turned on his chair.

 

  * Damn, why are you scar... – he stopped – excuse me miss do we... – he sqiunted his eyes – yay, is it you Shepard?




 

Feeble smile appeared on her face. She thought how bad she had to look like that even her old companion needed time recognise her. Though he has changed too. He also lost weight, skin on his face seemed to be very stretched, eyes were tired and his beard got impressive size. Seeing her he tried to lift himself but only grimace of pain seized his face and he stopped his efforts.

 

  * Forgive me Shepard that I even can't hug for a greeting – he said with a indifferent voice – my disease got stronger lately, I can't walk, I'm practically stuck to this chair.

  * I'm so happy to see you – she said warmly – I am so glad that Normandy has an honour having so outstanding pilot on its deck.




 

He responded with a gentle smile. However she couldn't see in him that old Joker. He seemed to be worried by troublesome sorrow and pain both physical and mental.

 

  * Did I have a choice? – he shrug his shoulders – old Vakarian almost brought me on board. He said that only I can drive this 'mite'. Yeah, he used that word – he added when he saw Shepard's risen eyebrows. – Actually sitting on Gaia and starring all day long at screen wasn't the most absorbing thing. I'd rather sit here. Just like old... good times.

  * I'm so sorry Joker – Shepard grabbed a leather back of the armchair and gently dug her nails in it. – I know that you and EDI...

  * Hush! – he hissed and hit with his fist – I will not, I don't want to talk about it. We can talk about everything, about Normandy, we can recollect old times, gossip about others, laugh at silly jokes, but please never ever mention her name again.

  * Fine – she nodded – just let me explain that...

  * No, Shepard – he protested sturdily – I don't want to listen to your explanations and I know that you don't want to tell me it at all. Leave matters as they are. Don't rub salt in my old wounds. – he lowered his head and took a deep breath – I'm sorry for my stir – he added – tell me better how do you feel.

  * As you see – Shepard wasn't satisfied with a turn of that conversation – I feel like crap, Joker. Everything in my life fails. Right now I'm hiding on my own ship, like the worst criminal, because I can't prove that I wasn't the person who killed Anderson and almost smashed up the Galaxy together with Reapers. I don't feel well Jeff.

  * Shepard, Shepard, I'm sure people used to tell you that or they still do, you are a tough person. The toughest person I know and I know that you'll cope with that bunch of idiots, who set a price on your head. Just make a plan with the crew, to catch that asari red-handed and we will attack the Citadel. Simple, isn't it? Damn, I feel like having _deja vu_.Life was so beautiful then... Are you getting so sentimental with age, Shepard?

  * Yeah, I think so – she smiled and tapped his shoulder – more often I look at the past than at the future, but when I think of it I know I do the wrong thing.




 

Joker sighed deeply. He leaned on his elbows and shook his head. He seemed to be little more comforted.

 

  * Just promise me – he added after a moment of reflection – that if you'll be somewhere close with Vakarian then take me for some party, right? Garrus has to finally throw away that stick.

  * I'm giving you my word – Shepard's face became radiant – take care, Joker, I'm going to check how others are doing.




 

Still deep in her thoughts Shepard went down to third level. It was quiet too. She glanced towards medical station. Doctor Michel was bustling about Liara, who still seemed to be unconscious. In a reflex action she peeked at the door, behind which probably was Garrus. She was thinking of it if she should visit him but she wasn't sure if he wanted to see her. Suddenly from the cabin, which previously had been occupied by Liara, went out James stretching lazily. He was wearing only underwear. Seeing her, he got confused a little.

 

  * Oh Lola – he scratched his head still little embarrassed – hey, I see that you feel better.

  * Quite well considering last events – she said pondering over his untypical behaviour – what's going on Vega, you, in turn, are kinda strange – she crossed her arms watching him.

  * Am I? I feel completely wonderful, as I mentioned, we, that means I and Ashley wanted to live everyday like it's last day...

  * And what about that? – Shepard was little fed up with this new James hedonist – philospher.

  * And therefore Shepard – he rubbed his chin nervously – we are going to have a baby.




 

Shepard's face was distorted by involuntary grimace. This was probably because of uttering a word 'baby', though she was really happy of James' confidence.

 

  * Congratulations Vega – she tapped his huge shoulder – you ran well – she added – but really unnecessarily you came to rescue me, leaving Ashley.

  * Oh, it's not actually the way you think, Shepard... Ashley is here with us, more precisely, she's sleeping right behind this door.

  * You're kidding right, Vega? – Shepard started to lose patience – if it's true you must realise what are you exposing her to. Damn – she got really angry – we have one last misson to fulfill and you want to make here childbirth classes, or what?! Think Vega, I'm begging you.

  * Shepard – Vega decided to protect his girlfriend – we are adults and we know potential threats. Ashley is a soldier too and in case she knows how to protect herself. It's still easier to catch Joker than her.

  * Okay, okay – Shepard gave up though the situation didn't suit her at all – you are adults, what is not connected with your maturity or responsibility. Do what you want, but if something happens – she paused for a moment – what I of course do not wish you, I don't bear any responsibility, even like a captain of this ship.

  * Yes, admiral – he added after a moment of pondering.

  * Who's making so much fuss? – they suddenly heard gruff voice behind their back – I can't focus on calibration.




 

This was Garrus, he emerged of artillery headquarters. He was wearing his uniform and seemed to be very tired. When he saw Shepard his eyes narrowed. Probably he hasn't been ready for this meeting yet.

 

  * Oh yes, who else could I expect? – he asked rhetorically – if you hear screams it can be only Shepard – his voice didn't express any emotions.

  * Such a kind greeting – she said as coldly as he – after all of that you greet me that way, hm... It's nice to see you too anyway.




 

They looked at each other with unconcealed coldness. James looked at one one and the other. He was visibly tense. Nobody knew about their conflicts on Gaia so astonishment was natural reaction.

 

  * I won't disturb you – he withdrew carefully – just talk a little, explain some things – and disappeared behind cabin's door.




 

Shepard bit her lips. She looked at those blue eyes with small pupils. She wanted to read something from them so badly. Whatever to mitigate that situation.

 

  * Garrus, let's talk please – she looked at him imploringly.

  * If you really care... – he muttered – but let's go to my place. You've already made enough noise.




 

She followed him obediently. She wanted to bring matters to the end. He closed the door and leaned on the console showing her his back. 

 

  * Garrus... – she started softly – what happened, because I have an impression that I don't fully understand. Do you want to write off everything what has been bringing us together up to now? Why?

  * I hoped, that it wouldn't be necessary. Though... though last events confirmed my opinion that I'm not best match for you. – he was tapping the console with his claws.

  * Oh no, please couldn't you make up anything better? You are throwing in texts like from low-budget vid.

  * These are facts, Shepard. I wanted to start family with you, I'm not able to. And it's not the first thing that blows in my life. Just mention my C-Sec service, spectre training or loss of my team. These are blows which can not be forgotten, they just accumulate and dig a hole in brain during a sleepless night. Then whole that mess with Reapers and afterward everything seemed to be fine. We started to build our life together, but I was head and shoulders above my ambitions, I wanted to have a baby with you so much, that I didn't draw my attention to your needs and feelings. I curse that day when you had received that damn message from the Council... After then I knew that you were arrested. I went mad. I knew it was my fault. If I didn't let you go then...

  * I had to go back there. It was my duty. It would happen sooner or later. Don't blame yourself about that...

  * Please don't break in – he silenced her with a hand movement and started to walk from one wall to another – I couldn't find a way to free you, my old contacts didn't work as I expected and a fact that I had been dismissed as a Prymarch didn't make things easier. The moment that I got on the Citadel, I went directly to see you. That helplessness... That was one of the worst moments in my life. You were so close but I had an impression that I lost you for ever. I couldn't help you. What is more you told me about our child... – he hid his face in palms. It was visible that these words made him hurt at the very thought of it – I don't want live like that, I don't want you to suffer... because of me – he shook his head in a gesture of negation – forgive me Shepard, I hurt so many people with my arrogance and excessive self confidence.

  * Garrus, never ever say that again – she embraced him round his waist and leaned her head on his armoured shoulder – you didn't spoil anything and for sure you are not too arrogant or too self confident. Maybe it will sound little pompously, but you are just good and little... naive person, that's why you lose sober judgment of current situation, but that's why I love you Garrus Vakarian. We just have to cope with last situation, we just need little time, but let our son go – she whispered at the end.




 

Garrus gently freed himself from Shepard leaned against him and moved somewhere at back of the room. He bowed and pulled out small metal box. Then he opened it and took a hold of some not big object. He turned to Shepard and poke out hand, on which there was a pair of tiny shoes.

 

  * I bought them some time ago – his said with trembling voice – I wanted them to be some good talisman. Damn, I believe in such things. As it shows I did stupid thing. Fact that I wanted have a descendant almost killed you Shepard!

  * No, Garrus – she grabbed firmly his free hand – do not connect these two things. That pregnancy just didn't appear in a proper time...

  * She will pay for it soon... – snarled Garrus and anger appeared in his eyes – but Shepard I think that we should make some pause. You have to understand that I'm not suitable man for you.

  * What are you talking about Garrus?! What pause? Damn, I love you, I want to be with you and I want to have a baby with you! Is it still too little? After all of that we went through, you are suddenly saying 'no'? 

  * Yes Shepard, I'm saying 'no'. – he said straightening himself and turning his head away.

  * Just think it over, please – Shepard touched that side of his face which had been hurt by shots of the helicopter. – because I don't have to. I'm certain my feelings and I don't blame you for that what happened and you shouldn't do it either. In any case you know where to find me.




 

He didn't answer. He was standing still when she left. Turians where so different from people. It was so easy to hurt their pride and they took even the smallest failure very emotionally and long. Garrus was exceptional case because in him all those features seemed to few times stronger. It won't be easy to persuade him to come back.

Tough talk with Garrus caused that she didn't want to see anyone that day. She returned to her cabin angry. She sat on the bed and hid face in her palms. Why? Why did he say so terrible things? He should support her. Physically she lost a baby. She still had in front her eyes that night, bloody spots on her pants and painful operations of the salarian. She has just escaped from Fira. Why she couldn't have in her life little peace and stability? She has been sitting like this for a moment, though adrenaline was blazing in her body and she started furiously rushing around the cabin. She felt that she has to do something, she couldn't sit idly when something in Galaxy begins to screw up again. She had to start from something...

 

  * Helen, please come to me immediately – she called her assistant by inter-com.

  * I'll be in a minute. – she answered.




 

When Helen came into her cabin Shepard was sitting again, trying to calm down her breath. But when she came in something lacked Shepard. There wasn't that usual puff of freshness and optimism. The girl seemed to be out of spirits and sad.

 

  * What's wrong Helen? – asked Shepard showing with a gesture place on sofa in front of her – you don't look better than me – she tried to cheer her up.

  * I was worrying about you – she said quietly – I was really scared, since your flight to Gaia I felt that something's wrong. When Fira hunted you down admiral, I thought it was over. She is... ruthless in her deed...

  * What's on your mind? – interrupted Shepard – Do you know something more about that?

  * No – she shook her head in negation – these are just suspicions, I'm conducting my own... hm... investigation we can say. If whatever confirms, you'll be the first person to find out about it. Right now I don't want to spread false rumours.

  * Sure – she nodded – I understand, and I'm so happy that you're acting. I haven't had detective in my crew yet. – she smiled.

  * Thank you, I'm really glad to hear that – she sighed.

  * Uh-huh – muttered Shepard – there's something more, am I right Helen?

  * Probably you are – she nodded – and I think I can tell it to you. Do you remember as I mentioned that there's something appealing in turians?

  * I do – she confirmed.

  * That turian Rekan, who died yesterday wasn't irrelevant to me... On Citadel we made an appointment for a drink few times. I hoped that this short acquaintance will turn into some relationship. But we couldn't... – she sniffed.

  * I am so sorry – Shepard embraced her with her arm – remember him as a good turian faithful to his beliefs. After that what he did for me... It was incredible, very brave deed. I know that my pitiful shitting won't return him life but don't break down. We both are in our own mourning.

  * What does it mean? – Helen discreetly wiped a tear off her cheek.




 

Shepard hesitated for a moment. She promised herself to keep it, not to tell anyone else and bear it inside. But Helen had something warm and good that everyone wanted to confide her from all secrets and worries.

 

  * Just keep it, please? – Helen nodded – It's not easy to talk about that so early... But fine – she summoned her courage up – I had a miscarriage, it was a boy... – she really wanted to set herself against these words.




 

Helen just looked at her sadly and that time she hugged her. They were sitting in that position for a longer moment in complete silence.

 

  * Life doesn't like you, does it? – said Helen finally.

  * Gently speaking – feeble smile crossed Shepard's face – I'm waiting for a day when I'll sit in an armchair with a cup of hot tea and nobody will require nothing from me. Oh my god, such a whim! – she laughed.

  * Everyone would like to – said Helen glancing at the window in the ceiling – but right now we have to withhold a little.

  * Do you know something about doctor Solus? – Shepard suddenly changed subject.

  * That who led your therapy? – asked Helen and Shepard confirmed – Clinic on Citadel gave her notice, Fira gave her few hours to pack her things and for all I know she returned on Sur'Kesh. Since that time I don't know anything.

  * Do you think she's in danger? – asked Shepard with anxiety.

  * I have no idea. Theoretically no, because helping you she didn't displeased the salarian community, though the salarian spectre and Dalatrass are really close to the Citadel Council so it's really hard to form any conclusions.

  * So, I think we've got a goal on our map. Helen, make the crew ready and let the Joker know, we are going on Sur'Kesh.

  * Yes, admiral – she straightened, saluted and hastily ran out of the cabin.




 


End file.
